TheArcaneAxiom

Marcurious

He watched in awe as Vethe was choked by a black vapor. Cool! Well, it wasn’t cool for Vethe, but seriously, those king’s powers were awesome! Except the fact that he almost killed someone, but still…

“Fetch her! You will not, I can,” the king said.

Marcurious seriously did not want to be Vethe right now…

Zash

Zash dashed out into the hallway. Vethe was already far down it. He pushed off the wall with his knives and went launching towards her.

——————

Dlek

Dlek groaned. This was not going to end well.

*materialized out of nowhere and hits subscribe button before melting stealthily back into the shadows*

It’s actually quite possible that up to half of the villains might eventually defect! Anyone want to add another? I already have two.

@rae

😭😭😭😭😭😭 (oh dear, I almost put a barfing emoji in there)

@loopylin @princesachronicle22 @rae I’m so sorry I took so long to get around to this y’all 🙁

Tyler

I blinked, racking my brain for any locations that matched Duvaal and The Sultaian desert, but couldn’t recall any.

But that’s not surprising. I never have been exactly good at geometry…

“I don’t think I’ve heard of that before,” I said q…[Read more]

@rae

We need a Koshtin POV. No hurry though.

*hits subscribe button*

@jonas

Oh no XD

Zash

Zash grinned.

”Should we pursue her, King?”

Vethe

Vethe coughed, rising to her feet. “I don’t think you and I are going to get along very well.” She said, laying a hand on her sword. “You don’t strike me as a very good king.”

And with that she ran.

***

Congratulations, Koshtin, it seems like Vethe’s going to defect without even fighting the heroes 🤦‍♀️

@jonas @thearcaneaxiom

You guys have already read the next chapter, the one where Lilitu steals the loaf of bread. So I’ll skip to the fourth chapter, when Lilitu’s walking home from his thievery, lol

And as always, don’t feel like you have to read it. I don’t want anybody panicking, lol

Chapter 4: Strange Magick

Lilitu stood at the edge of…[Read more]

Dlek

Dlek looked on in horror as Vethe was lifted off the ground. His hand twitched towards his sword.

What am I doing?

He was no hero. He knew that all too well.

If I’m going to get through this, I need to lie low, not attack an all powerful king who claims to be un-killable.

Dlek turned away as Vethe was dropped to the ground g…[Read more]

@rae

Yeah, I was a little worried about that…do you think it would help if I gave Brenna’s master a name? The young soldier must remain unnamed, for my own reasons, but I could give the master a name. I’ll rearrange the paragraphs so it’s easier to understand what’s going on.

Yeah, I think that would help a lot.

For the title, maybe “Murderer”?

@jonas

you’re fine!! no worries! 🙂

@highscribeofaetherium

Bad move, Vethe, bad move.

@savannah_grace2009 @rae

Ugh! I forgot about this today. Sorry! I’ll get to it as soon as I can!

@rae

Nice! I like it.

Note this typo:

Furious, with leader of the caravan

I think you meant “the” instead of “with.”

Maybe also establish who the POV character is sooner. I was a bit confused for the first few paragraphs because I couldn’t tell.

The only other thing I would say is that the title could be tweaked. The name doesn’t feel quite…[Read more]

@rae

Yeah, I noticed the same thing as Freedom. It did get a little confusing. But overall it’s really good!

@thearcaneaxiom

Um….I just listened to it and….how?????

How is that physically possible! that’s kinda disturbing, XD

It’s so good though!