Brianne

@savannah_grace2009

Nahim

“She’s alright.” Nahim spun around. All it was was one of guys he had seen at the party. Nahim looked at Ottoline. She was still trembling a little, but she seemed relieved by the presence of the other man. “She’s just a little on edge.” ‘Yeh, she’s afraid of me.’ 

“Ottoline, that’s a pretty name, it fits you. Well, w…[Read more]

@trailblazer

Awww…Libbie has her first (????) crush!

I like this chapter!

@jonas

 From what I have seen, I’m thinking Ellis might not like him, but we’ll have to wait till he actually shows up to interact with them.

Ellis doesn’t like anyone, lol XD

(except guys that have cool swords. Even then, there’s a chance he’ll hate you)

(just kidding.)

@rae

Pronunciation: Otto-line (Otto as in the name otto plus line)

Ottoline

“Are you chilled?” He asked.

“I-I-” she began. She desperately wanted to run, but her feet might as well have been useless bricks.

“She’s alright,” a familiar voice spoke from next to her. Hugo. “She’s just a little on edge.” Ottoline managed to smile at him g…[Read more]

Woops! It might be tomorrow before I can look at your website. Eh! Tech, so many problems!

@devastate-lasting

Honestly (IF you want my opinion) I like your originally title. Though it’s your choice.

Ooh! A button I can push!

@savannah_grace2009

Oh man! This will be interesting.

Also, how domyiu correctly pronounce ‘Ottoline?’

@savannah_grace2009

“I-I-I’m Ottoline.” The girl clasped her hands. She was trembling.

“Are you alright?” ‘She better not be scared of me.’ “Are you chilled?”

@grcr

lol

@devastate-lasting

Hmmm…Now I think I might read this book if I had time.

Two comments:

1)

Outside there was a guy on a skateboard riding around the half-deserted lot in front of the store. He had blonde hair that was getting…

So I think that thses two sentences could potentially flow into each other better.

2) Ignore this one if you don’t…[Read more]

@rae @jonas

Ottoline

Oh no. 

The man approached, sword at his side. She shrank back, looking frantically for Hugo. Her heart beat faster with panic as she saw Hugo talking to Kari and Hedieh and Amir across the room.

She froze.

“Hello, my name is Lord Nahim,” he said.

Oh no. Ellis probably sent him to kill me because he’s too much of a…[Read more]

@hanako

Also, have I mentioned this already but I really like your pfp.

@jonas

If Ellis doesn’t like him, that could lead to some problems potentially.

@hanako

Thanks 🙂 I was hoping people would now like them!

@jonas

Yeah, even my Nahim, who sympathizes with people who’s homes are being/have been destroyed hates her now. How will they feel about Fennin?

@grcr

Yeah, I felt bad for her when I read it…

Well that tells me I haven’t failed as a writer.

@jonas

I think that the characters should be able to survive, unless they’re fighting an entire army of dragons or something, lol. They have multiple weapons that should be able to kill dragons fairly effectively, so if things get too serious, we can sort of cheat them out,

Yeah, I see what you mean.

@jonas

She originally was meant to be hardened by the pain of seeing her country fade away, but then she evolved. I’ve got to watch myself because her rapid growth from just an everyday demanding queen to a…well what she is has made her liked by me.

@jonas

Fennin is probably the only Lillenning who has the actual physical ability to fight well.

If you don’t like my idea, let it be lost. Honestly, I didn’t like it myself either that much.

@anyone and everyone

Any ideas? We don’t want any dead charries.

@grcr

Lol! Flaz is soooooo ridiculously funny, and rude!

One last thing, after my last post with her, do you guys have at least some sympathy for the Queen? I mean, she’s trying to hold a kingdom together while it’s being attacked alone. Not to mention fearing her son will be killed.