Brianne

I didn’t want to make a topic for this, but wanted to write it anyways…

The sound of drums seemed to shake the very foundation of the vacation house. Nae looked innocently up the set of winding stairs that led to Jr’s room with her large, childish eyes.

“Da, why is Junior trying to bring the house down with his drums?” Nahim gathered up his…

[Read more]

Okay, here is the current headache of the year…

Nahum-Alpha Slit Silvanus Thurston Dare Krogen Fives Grath

Warning, the arrangement may change later and I might add another name!

Now I shall disect his name! Each part has a meaning to his parents (he was their first child, so he got loaded on with meaning)

Nahum-from his father’s adoptive f…[Read more]

@jonas @thearcaneaxiom

You guys have already read the next chapter, the one where Lilitu steals the loaf of bread. So I’ll skip to the fourth chapter, when Lilitu’s walking home from his thievery, lol

And as always, don’t feel like you have to read it. I don’t want anybody panicking, lol

Chapter 4: Strange Magick

Lilitu stood at the edge of…[Read more]

Not really a storyline, more like just points.

• Brandt saves Brenna, a slave/his Sweetheart
• Brandt’s leaders and fellows
• Brandt’s mission that he fails, falls and breaks his leg. Wounded.
• Elderly man takes him in, caring for him, not afraid to share beliefs.
• Brandt returns to fellows, overcome with guilt, pain, sorrow, depression,…

[Read more]

@highscribeofaetherium ↑↑↑

It’s as a Vow, and It’s as a Rule

A little child’s first cry,

It’s little voice piercing the sky.

It’s as a vow and it’s as a rule,

That life should spring forth fresh and new.

A little toddler with feet so small,

Pads down the grass that is so tall.

It’s as a vow, and it’s as a rule,

That life should be given to you.

&nbsp…[Read more]

@jonas

“A hero is the one who bleeds, red drops that fall like planter’s seeds.”

@rae

Yeah, I was a little worried about that…do you think it would help if I gave Brenna’s master a name? The young soldier must remain unnamed, for my own reasons, but I could give the master a name. I’ll rearrange the paragraphs so it’s easier to understand what’s going on.

Yeah, I think that would help a lot.

For the title, maybe “Murderer”?

@jonas

you’re fine!! no worries! 🙂

@highscribeofaetherium

Koshtin

Koshtin’s crooked smile faided on his lips. His eyes went pale as death, his hands had a black vapor. The black vapor became like a ring around her neck. She felt something choking her, but it couldn’t be pulled away, for her fingers passed through it, yet it still held her. Her feet floated six inches above the…[Read more]

@freedomwriter76 @savannah_grace2009

The biggest thing I noticed for critiquing was that it was kinda confusing with all the characters who was doing what. I got lost on who the soldiers were and who the slaves were in the first few paragraphs and kinda got lost on what everyone was doing whilst reading.

Yeah, I was a little worried about…[Read more]

@rae

Yeah, I noticed the same thing as Freedom. It did get a little confusing. But overall it’s really good!

@thearcaneaxiom

Um….I just listened to it and….how?????

How is that physically possible! that’s kinda disturbing, XD

It’s so good though!

@rae

Oooh I like it!

@esther-c

Livia

“Do you know what dorm you’re staying in?” Callista asked her.

Liv shook her head. “No, I just got here. Is there a place to go check in or something? I thought there would be more people around…where is everyone?”

Glace

The eyes look weird cuz I had to paste the irises in and I’ve never done that before…Any tips on how to do that better?

@savannah_grace2009

Glad you like it! Of course!

@esther-c

Chase Duke

Chase hung back as Fynn greeted a blue girl, her horse ad what guessed to be his really really close friend. I don’t belong here. He quickly pulled his hood over his face again, hoping the two girls and odd horse wouldn’t notice him. He slouched against the wall, watching as the four talked.

The horse interested him the mo…[Read more]