Brianne

@loopylin

It’s okay. Chase has black hair, pale skin. His irises are usually black, but change color. Green means he has earned your trust. He’s wearing currently a white T-shirt and jeans. Oh, and his arms and hands are noticeably scarred.

One note, if Sef is with Chase, he’d step in front of her and act very different, but I guess Sef isn’t…[Read more]

And I don’t know why Spring sleeps on an air mattress, lol.

Here ya go!

THE SEASON SISTERS

Spring yawned, and slid off her air mattress. Her older sister Summer was fast asleep.

She looked at her alarm clock. It was 6:29. Just then, a piercing alarm broke through the silence. Summer groaned and rolled over. Spring jumped up and yanked the blind cords. Bright sunlight danced through the room. ” Time…[Read more]

@savannah_grace2009

GREAT topic XD I don’t have my very first story anymore (it’s probably in storage) but I have one that I wrote when I was… Ten, maybe eleven? That was kind of my first actual novel attempt. It only has like, two chapters. Brb, I’ll go find it to post

@freedomwriter76

Girl!!! I just found this…and it uhhh changed the way I saw Bucky

it’s kind of long

@highscribeofaetherium

*is so confused*

Um…..that is the UNDERSTATEMENT of the century lol I was questioning 13 year old Sara’s sanity when I read this….

I’m glad you changed directions with your novel lol.

Ummmmmmmmmmmmm YESSS. I actually thought this junk could get published!!!

THIS IS WHY YOU NEED PLOTTING! OR ELSE YOUR WRITING WILL END U…[Read more]

@trailblazer

Yeah….but the problem is that i’ll have to have implants when I turn eighteen because those teeth will never grow back…so there will be holes in my mouth for eternity. Fun times!

Okay so a backstory-they are Andromedan, but they were kidnapped when they were little and taken to Earth. In this convulated version of a novel, I had it that all Andromedans had purple hair and yellow eyes. They lived a normal human life, etc.

But on Earth all Andromedans take the form of humans, and then the mc’s lost their memory. Now they…[Read more]

@highscribeofaetherium

Because he’s from Earth and they’re not.

I mean I get where I was going…but it is still really, really dumb.

I WANT TO BURN THIS.

“Because,” Liv says. “You are going to use your powers to bring our parents back. Or else.” What powers?

“Or else what?” Jorryn challenges. Oh great. The last thing we need right now is for Jorryn to get cocky.

“Easy there, ‘spitfire’!” Gael mocks.

“It’s gonna be bad,” Liv assures us.

“You don’t know, do you?” Jorryn…

[Read more]

@jonas

I never ever threw my writing away, no matter how bad it was….i have every single horrible story I ever wrote in a huge binder. I remember thinking the stories were good…and I recently read threw it again and wanted to burn it.

Another embarrasing scene for you:

. Jordan grabbed her arm again and yanked her over to him. He handed her…

[Read more]

Oh my word, I didn’t even realize I had this story on my laptop! This is from wayyyy back- I think it was the first story I ever wrote, when I was like six or seven? I roped in my younger brothers so you can thank one of them for the name “Gummy”.

My idea of a chapter was essentially a paragraph.

Chapter one

The three kids

One day three…[Read more]

@savannah_grace2009

I have a folder on my laptop marked “old stuff” and I can assure there will be something cringy in there. Let me go digging for a minute!

@savannah_grace2009

Huh, that’s interesting. I guess it gives your other teeth a little more space, though. I had to have a couple teeth pulled when I was little because my mouth was so crowded, but then the adult teeth still came through so it didn’t really solve the problem, lol. I guess it just made it easier for them to give me braces.

@rae

The writing you shared was a little depressing, but the characters weren’t melodramatic at least. I don’t pay much attention to punctuation as a writing problem. The art of melodrama is at an all time high here though. Like “He grabbed Nejin by the collar of his shirt, his eyes radiating hate, and rage.” After Nejin, a little boy he never…[Read more]

@thearcaneaxiom

Well, your punctuation is fine…and it is soooo not as cringy as what I wrote a year ago!

About this scene above:

Proud of it, NO!

Still like it because off Krogen, yeah.

You will see what I mean when I finish it…

Oh, and this garbage:

“Shele” he said, turning around, immediately bumping into a tall, yet frail man.

 

He grabbed Nejin by the collar of his shirt, his eyes radiating hate, and rage.

Adrenaline rushed through Nejin’s system, but it gave no resolve to run or fight. Guards charged in, clearing the area, tackling the Man to the ground, losin…

[Read more]

@savannah_grace2009

oh my gosh….lol I was reading it and I was like, oh it’s really good! and then I read this sentence:

I can’t tell you what Nahim’s face looked like because he never showed it to anyone.
And then I laughed.

Not mean at all. I consider that sentence the thing the sums up my first draft. Awfulness, awfulness, awfulness. Except.…[Read more]

Oh this is great! I still like this scene…

Nahim walked on. Suddenly his boots hit something solid and metal with a clank. Nahim walked about. (Ruee, what kinda of a sentence is that?!) It appeared to be a circular metal something. *Nahim discovers it’s a base, gets inside, blah blah blah* “Hello, Hello!” (Oh, did I mention I had no idea what…

[Read more]