Scoutillus Finch

I think by three sentences Kathleen meant three grammatical sentences.

I just wanted to interrupt the story to say that if people are running out of ideas for this thread, they can look back to the previous posts and incorporate the foreshadowing in them.

“Or else what?” A jagged smile cut across his — no, its — face. “You’ve no say in this, she’s the one we want… you,” he snickered, “you’re just a rescue.”

My voice grew hoarse as they began to disappear, “No,” then they were gone.

Mirabelle crossed her arms, “We’ve never seen anything, how is there anything there to see or hear us?”

I shrugged, I was the only witness to the supernatural goings-on in the night. “One thing you never consider is how we have an endless supply of spaghetti.”

I smirk and move to the pantry, having an aimless desire to see if there’s anything in the mousetraps. “Well, this farmer-cowboy-dude has taken pretty good care of us so…” I tripped and we both screamed.

Mirabelle pushed past me and reached for the doorknob.

“Wait!” I hissed, knowing that a ten-year old was no match for what might be sporting among the dirty dishes she hadn’t cleaned yet.

You’re welcome! I’m so glad it helped!

You’re story sounds very interesting… what happened to give Kaunon the scars?

Feel free to post the first meeting if you want!

It’s kinda late so I’m a little frazzled and I feel the clock breathing down my neck, but i still really hope this helps!

Hi @elfwing!

I am not a very skilled writer compared to most, but I hope i can give you some pointers as I am familiar with emotional scenes (they’re one of my favorite scenes to write!).

This is a great scene, maybe have the first half tie into the second a little more by having Elenor say something like, “Alinna will be so happy! She thought…[Read more]

@anatra23

Thank you for the tips! I’m so glad you liked it!

@gracie-j

Thank you so much! I’m glad you liked it!

@kathleenramm @devestate-lasting @abigail-m

I agree with all of you.

I think I dislike morally corrupt heroes that don’t experience any consequences for their actions or redemption. They are depressing and annoying like a child that always has it’s way. However, that said I love a good redemption story, so if that anti-hero actually has a rea…[Read more]

Thank you for the tip!

Thank you, I’m honestly still deciding on what to do and definitely have to do some worldbuilding in the near future, but sequel(s) are planned.😊

Thank You! That was super helpful to me!

As I hope to write some sequels (not sure how many), I will be adding more of Jade’s past and answering a lot of the questions you’re presenting! I’m so glad you like it!

Do you have any tips for action scenes? I have more experience with the more emotional scenes, but I struggle describing the fight…[Read more]

I hope y’all like it! Thanks for reading!

I just remembered to ask if I did well with showing instead of telling.

Thank you for your input!

When Jade was escorted through the entry bay on Marian’s ship, he saw him. Fabian lay on the floor with a couple exhausted-looking soldiers preparing to move the body… he’s still connected to the equipment that failed to save him… it must’ve just happened. Jade willed himself to remain calm as he passed, Marian’s grip on his shoulder tightening.…[Read more]

The next thing Jade knew was his breath coming in gasps. The blizzard had passed, and the stars in the darkening sky blinked at him as if they were shocked.  He sat up and watched the unfamiliar peaks turn vivid red in the fading light. He brought his knees up to his chest. How long had he been out?

Jade’s visor glitched to clear, the br…[Read more]

A clank of metal on metal crashed Jade into consciousness. He stared at the dull ceiling, it looked so like the one he stared at on his ship every morning the sound was a mystery. He cringed and waited for the pain in his neck to subside so he could turn his head. The surgeries that mended Jade’s face to a semblance of what it was were able to l…[Read more]

I have to post the story in chunks (divided by *** ) so here’s the first one!

Ice

By Dawn Robin (ScoutFinch180)

Jade had never slain a monster before. But that didn’t mean he wasn’t acquainted with killing. He used to take contracts occasionally – but only when he was bored and wanted the extra adrenaline rush. He preferred stealing or ly…[Read more]