Andrew McLaurin

@ellette-giselle

and what’s worse is when they attack the chicken coop after eggs and chicks, the protective hens are killed, but not eaten so it’s an icky sight.

My big brother was with me (Caleb. I used to call him by Cgecko on here but since Andrew knows him I didn’t want to have to explain) and he read your story about your brother’s…[Read more]

@theducktator

I liked Robinson Crusoe. What was wrong with it?

It could have been so much better.

His style tells you a lot while somehow telling you nothing. Robinson is a terrible Main Character (Yes, I know he gets better) and there are no side characters when he’s awful to make anything enjoyable. And there’s no promise that Robinson will get…[Read more]

@esther-c

Sorry for taking so long to reply, if you read my other message you would understand!

Ok here is my WIP in a short.

There is a kingdom far away from any modern civilization, it is near South America on an island. The island is covered in mountains which covers it and keeps it hidden. (There is also some magic involved, but thats not…[Read more]

@theshadow @esther-c

Thats great, thanks guys!

@rae

I liked Robinson Crusoe. What was wrong with it?

@raxforge

READ FREEDOM’S FIRE.

@raxforge

I read this late last night and I thought this meant something totally different.

Oops.

Basically I was upside down on our zipline and I was joking around cuz of the blood flowing to my head.

Yeah, Caleb, they do deserve our respect

Not opossums! They DO NOT deserve any respect at all! Except the fact they can’t get rabies. Little rats…[Read more]

@raxforge

Here’s some more random quotes to confuse you:

“Yay, more insanity flowing to my head! My legs are especially contributing!” – me

“Marsupials deserve our utmost respect…says the guy who just threw one through a bush!” – Caleb

new quote!

Person 1- “How was your week?”

Person 2- “Pretty!”

Person1- “Wait, what-?”

@whalekeeper

It feels trustworthy. Reminds me of Bark of the Bog Owl by Jonathan Rogers and The Oddmire by William Ritter.

I haven’t read either, but now you’ve got me curious

@ellette-giselle

All right, Ellette, here you go. Getting close to 3,000 words of feedback for you here. Please let me know if anything doesn’t make sense or if the link is not working for you. I haven’t proofread this too carefully, so there may be some questionable grammar mistakes.

Let there be Light Feedback

@raxforge

Wow, I got tagged twice in one post, I must be special!

Yes, you are very special.

I will NOT let you get out of reading Freedom’s Fire! If I had to choose between you reading hers and mine, I’d tell you to read hers. I AM THAT SERIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!

@ellette-giselle

Nope. I’ve already typed up 1,367 words for you. I’ve been slowly chipping away at this when I’ve had the chance.

@ellette-giselle

I’m getting there. I finished rereading your story and will hopefully have my answers for you very soon. In fact, I don’t have any pressing School assignments at the moment and have written a lot for my own story this week, so I will be working on that right away.

@ellette-giselle

I think murderer could work as long as he said Like murderer, or almost was a murderer. If you want him to say something that he is, he could think of himself as a monster or wild beast. Or, since he is trying to be the hero, an interesting flip would be to have him decide, “I’m not the hero, I’m the villain.” That would flow wi…

[Read more]

@ellette-giselle

XD

The one about reading as a reader and then reading as a writer is so relatable!

You can ask @raxforge , but I have a habit of criticizing every book I read for school from a writer’s perspective. My tutor is still trying to convince me that Robinson Crusoe isn’t really as bad as I said. Good luck convincing a part German to…[Read more]

@keilah-h

also, I’m not sure if you’re referring to Alan or Rour, but I think neither of them went too far. They both are wrong about something and think they’re right, and as such it’s messing with their minds.

I was referring to Alan attempting to kill Rour.

@ellette-giselle

WHAT! He didn’t go save Martha!!!!

Alan! Grrrrrr!

Alan’s beginning…[Read more]

@elishavet-pidyon

I filled out another sentence diagram. So far, the Cat (subject) had(helping verb) eaten(verb) the (article describing direct object) mouse (direct object).

A striking saga of nature.

Lol

@ellette-giselle

I have discovered a new favorite word!

superfluous!!!!!

I MUST tell everyone!
@beth-torres @loopylin @raxforge @theducktator @theshadow and anyone else!!!!

@raxforge

I just realized that page 460 on this topic is just us! 😂

OOH! I’ll quote everything my classmates and teachers have said!

“Wait… did you go here for high school?”- one kid said to my FEMALE teacher. (Its an all boys school)

“So… can you become God?”- A kid asked in my religion class.

“Ok (student name) if you’re so smart, then get up here and teach the class!”- my health teacher said to a kid…[Read more]