Andrew

@rae @theshadow

Barnes

“I was thinking we start down this corridor along the edge of the castle, and scour the place for clues and people,” Barnes told Percival.

The group waited a few minutes for Reid to calm his brother, who remained stubbornly curled up. He was still agitated.

Barnes was used to people who looked much younger than their…[Read more]

Of course you can do whatever you want, I’m playing the other side’s advocate so you have balanced reasons for whatever you do.

@linus-smallprint

(also, anyone else who is reading this, what do you think?)

You have a very sensible writer voice, with hints of humor and warmth. I think because of your semi-calm tone, you don’t seem like the kind of person who would write a super intense POV scene of shame for Eric, at least not until the arc’s climax.

And from what I can…[Read more]

@theshadow well…..

I’m nowhere near even a novice theologian or pastor or whatnot, so I’m really not qualified to answer. But honestly, the same logic kinda applies to “why did God make humans if he knew they’d sin?”

believe me, I’ve had some “Why—just why—did you make that, God?” moments myself. But I’m just a lowly human being, who am I t…[Read more]

@theshadow

I…have no idea, so I don’t think I’ll be much help. Have you asked your pastor?

@ellette-giselle

I may be TOTALLY off on this, but i feel like you yourself have not gotten into Eric an tried being him. If that makes sense.

This is kind of a funny and ironic thing to say. Of all my characters, I was not expecting you to say this about Eric. Confession time. Most of my characters are me in some way. Alan is my worries, guilt,…[Read more]

@ellette-giselle

A teenage elder does seem wrong. Looking at the qualifications for an Elder in 1 Timothy 3:1-7 and Titus 1:6-9, they don’t explicitly state any age, and I can see you’ve been setting up Joseph to meet the requirements listed here, but they do seem to require someone who is mature. I don’t think it would be right to trust a…[Read more]

@hybridlore

Idk,

what do you think, @linus-smallprint ?

I’m leaning toward making him older.

I mean, if he’s in the position of spiritual leader, he needs to be mature.

Hybridlore, pick three characters and put them in your signature, and give the rest back. Understand me? (Adrian doesn’t count because he’s dead. so there.)

lololol

@hybridlore

He’s going to try to answer that call for Church leaders that came from the town. The monumental things are how on earth he would even have a chance of getting out of the Capital with the lockdown. The minute he can get out, Joseph and whoever else would be off. So, to have the door open while he’s seventeen would be silly if he…[Read more]

@linus-smallprint

Um, I want him to be redeemed. lol.

For this I want to see him reacting in shame. If this is a big deal, I need to see it as a big deal.

Like, what is the most shameful or embarrassing thing that ever happened to you? (Don’t actually answer that. lol) Think how it made you feel, and then put yourself in the woods with some…[Read more]

@linus-smallprint   @hybridlore

Somebody help me!!!!!!! I’m going insane!!!!!!

Okay, not really, but I am stuck and I’m having one of those uninspiring days when words are just black spots on a white screen.

If that makes sense.

Ugh.

Okay, so I am going to do something very monumental in Joseph’s life………… except I’m stuck.

I d…[Read more]

@ellette-giselle

Ah, okay.

In that case, I don’t want to dig into it too much at the moment, since his character is going nowhere else in book 1, but I definitely am planning to deal with this in book 2. Maybe I will see if I can add a sense of shame into the end of that last chapter, but that will be it.

Where exactly are you hoping Eric’s…[Read more]

@linus-smallprint

I normally do that, but this time I forgot. :/

Do you think it is okay to leave him like this, or should I put something else in to temporarily satisfy the reader?

I think we might be sim-understanding one another.

I don’t think Eric was ashamed ENOUGH. Like, the words on the paper said he was ashamed, but he didn’t feel…[Read more]

@ellette-giselle

Yup. Sure did. My dad was stationed in Italy, and there you travel by REAL trains. With several carriages and an engine. We used to spend our vacations in Edelweiss Germany up in the alps. I’ve also been to Austria, Rome, Greece, and Switzerland. I wish I could do it again now that I’m older and can appreciate it. Although, liv…

[Read more]

@ellette-giselle

Ugh. It deleted my reply.

Try Ctrl A then Ctrl C before you post your reply to save it to your clipboard in case it decides not to work. Then you don’t have to retype anything. (Make sure you are on the ‘Text’ tab of the text editor.)

I feel like you kinda brushed over the shame thing with Eric, and I’m hoping that’s because he’…

[Read more]

@hybridlore

You can’t just steal all of them. Otherwise I won’t post anything else. Pic who you want and let the others go.

@hybridlore

On second thought, maybe I’ll leave Joseph alone and do bad things to Asher, Eric, Noah, Darrien, and OH! And SABINA!!!!!

@hybridlore

That might be why I haven’t posted anything recently……..

@linus-smallprint

Ugh. It deleted my reply.

I liked this chapter a lot, though I have read most of it. lol.

I feel like you kinda brushed over the shame thing with Eric, and I’m hoping that’s because he’s too freaked out to think though what happened. I hope to see some more repercussion of that later on.

I like how Alan and Tyn dealt with…[Read more]

@hybridlore

What does this mean exactly?? 🤨

Wouldn’t you like to know.

@keilah-h

That would have been the strangest acronym for a missionary story ever lol

I know, right!

all I’m saying is, if you’re gonna kill Joseph, make it completely different from Aaron’s and Adrian’s deaths. Have the Empire chuck him off a cliff or something, I don’t…

[Read more]