Ruth

@hybridlore

I’m like 95% sure they’re going to survive.

Wow.

This is all that came to mind.

@keilah-h

It’s a girl.

@ellette-giselle

Haha! I like Aelic too, but I really liked how you put us more in Julian’s mind than we normally get to be.

I’m like 95% sure they’re going to survive.

@linus-smallprint

completely off topic but Bastille is an awesome name for a character. It sounds like a female name, but I guess it could be for a guy too.

@linus-smallprint

I don’t need no Literary License.

I think so. It’s still early in the book. You could kill them all off and switch to a different character at this point as the protagansit, but that would be really weird as you have already established Leon and Julian as the protagonists.

hmmm.

@linus-smallprint

For the reason Leon mentioned. Reflexes happening faster than recognition.

Aha. Makes sense.

From this description, first the yelling and banging, then coming down to see everyone else only just standing there, I thought there was a riot outside. So I was surprised to learn that it was only snow and that there had been no…

[Read more]

@hybridlore

Oh!

well this is a surprise.

First off, I had expected wails of protest.

Secondly, I was expecting comments about Aelic’s character, so the Julian remark totally threw me off. 😂

Thanks though!

@ellette-giselle

Love this section! You did a great job of bringing in Julian’s character and his thoughts, like when he remembered the burning building. Their last exchange is so funny. XD

The fireman’s carry imo is harder than piggyback. I don’t care what they say.

You know story research just got real when you’re contemplating carrying your sister as many times up and down the street as you can, to test the strength vs weight in an escape scene

@ellette-giselle @keilah-h @theducktator @linus-smallprint

New chapters on the Part 2 doc!

@freed_and_redeemed  @hybridlore    @koshka   @keilah-h    @elishavet-pidyon   @liberty  @linus-smallprint

NEXT SECTION!

The next morning, Julian woke to the sound of voices and banging. He leapt to his feet and yanked on his boots. Leon was already pulling on his hat and beat him into the other room.

When Julian arrived, he found Marti…

[Read more]

Stopped at :45. That was legitimately helpful

This is going to sound goofy, but I’m going to start an idea-generation session at :05.

@linus-smallprint

I think you are pacing this well for a return journey

Phew. Thanks. 😅

Sneaky. But not wise.

why?

@ellette-giselle great job on this section!!

😁

@ellette-giselle

I feel like they’re not going to be happy. Particularly with Aelic.

@hybridlore

why?