@overcomer
Active 11 months, 2 weeks ago- Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
- Total Posts: 550
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Koshka replied to the topic An aggravation over Stained Glass in the forum Poetry Critiques 11 months, 2 weeks ago
My style…I’m not really sure where it has come from, except that almost all the poetry I’ve read was written before the 1940’s.
The meter here is roughly 7-8 syllables with a pause of cadence in the middle of each line. The rhythm is One and TWO and Three and FOUR. I hope that helps and isn’t more confusing.
Ah, slant rhyme. I have…[Read more]
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Koshka replied to the topic An aggravation over Stained Glass in the forum Poetry Critiques 11 months, 3 weeks ago
Here’s the poem I’ve been struggling with. The first and fourth stanzas irritate me the most.
I also have no idea who to tag for this anymore (the last thing I submitted for critiques was some time ago) but feel free to tag anyone.
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Koshka replied to the topic The Moonlit Sea and Me in the forum Poetry Critiques 11 months, 4 weeks ago
Oh, I’ve done that soo many times… the interesting rabbit holes we find. I believe the last one I fell down was the difference was Scottish sayings and proverbs. I didn’t find what I was looking for, but as I now can no longer remember what that was everything is fine. XD
Ah, freeverse…
Freeverse is a thing
That I cannot…[Read more]
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Koshka replied to the topic The Moonlit Sea and Me in the forum Poetry Critiques 1 year ago
Ooo, I do prefer Ending Verse #4. It continues in the same voice as the preceding poem, while resolving the whole thing in a smooth switch of tone. (If that made any sense)
I think it would benefit from a little more structure, it need not be much more than you already have.
But that’s all according to the artist’s interpretation. It…[Read more]
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Koshka replied to the topic The Shabby Guitar Poem in the forum Poetry Critiques 1 year ago
Ooo, I like this poem.
I’m not the most amazing of a poet, but I’ll post any polishing I can think of in a bit.
Thanks for sharing!
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Kathleen replied to the topic Why was my post marked as spam? in the forum Questions and Support 1 year ago
Glad the post is now up!
I think it must’ve marked it as spam before because I edited it a few times?
That’s my best guess. The site tends to get a bit finicky when making edits. I’m not sure the exact cause of why this is, but I’ll be looking into it!
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Kathleen replied to the topic Why was my post marked as spam? in the forum Questions and Support 1 year ago
Thanks for letting me know about this issue! Spam marking is an automated program and unfortunately, it is quite faulty and unrightfully marks perfectly fine posts as spam. I’m currently looking into ways to make adjustments to this program so that it’s more accurate with its spam marking.
Have you been able to get your…[Read more]
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Karissa Chmil replied to the topic The Moonlit Sea and Me in the forum Poetry Critiques 1 year ago
@overcomer This is gorgeous. <3 It pulled me in so much, and the atmosphere you set up is stunning.
My only real comment is that your transition about a fourth of the way through from longer to shorter lines felt a little bit awkward? You came out of it very well at the end, but going into it and shifting the cadence of the poem felt a bit…[Read more]
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whaley replied to the topic Why was my post marked as spam? in the forum Questions and Support 1 year ago
Hi! I’ve had that happen before, especially if I’m editing it, and someone makes a post in the same area of the forum. Basically if someone else makes a post while yours is still in the process of being posted, the KP ghost steals the slower post 😜
I’m sorry I can’t fix anything! I’ll tag @kathleenramm
But she’s not on here a lot…[Read more]
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Koshka replied to the topic The Moonlit Sea and Me in the forum Poetry Critiques 1 year ago
Beautiful. The way you used layered meanings of words is making me want to get my violin out and sing. I love the ambiguous speaker who could be just anyone; you, me, a fairy child…it makes my imagination shiver.
I don’t have any real critiques, but as I just ran across this two months after it was posted, I suppose that doesn’t…[Read more]
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Light Warrior Pen replied to the topic The Moonlit Sea and Me in the forum Poetry Critiques 1 year, 2 months ago
I know, right! My endings usually end up with the action tailing off and then an abrupt start. AKA, not good. 😂
Yes, try to get it published! I think you can publish poetry on the KP blog. You could send it in there.
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Allison replied to the topic The Moonlit Sea and Me in the forum Poetry Critiques 1 year, 2 months ago
I think the second one,
“But I am neither bird nor wife and my dreams
Are shining, a full moon tonight:”
Has a better flow to it 🙂
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Allison replied to the topic The Moonlit Sea and Me in the forum Poetry Critiques 1 year, 2 months ago
I don’t know how I missed this, but want to say that I love this poem! The lines…
“And what dreams do I
Hold close in my heart?
Is the sailing of my boat a start?”
and
“But I am not a bird nor a wife, and my dreams
Are shining, a full moon tonight:
The darker my night, the
Brighter my dreams,”
Those are perfect, beautiful…[Read more]
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Light Warrior Pen replied to the topic The Moonlit Sea and Me in the forum Poetry Critiques 1 year, 3 months ago
I could tell from the poem that you had been around the sea a lot. You spoke as if you knew it.
I have the same trouble with endings, though I don’t write poetry. We’re in the same boat (no pun intended).
You’re welcome! 😊
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Light Warrior Pen replied to the topic The Moonlit Sea and Me in the forum Poetry Critiques 1 year, 3 months ago
I’m not a poetry expert, so you might want to take my opinion with a grain of salt. But here goes!
I love your imagery, you did a good job with that. I got a clear picture in my mind.
The only thing I would say is … I really can’t tell who is speaking. I’m assuming it’s a sailor, but I really don’t know.
Also, the last four lines…[Read more]
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MineralizedWritings replied to the topic Does anyone here write poetry or haiku's ? in the forum Poetry 1 year, 5 months ago
Thank you!
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Allison replied to the topic Does anyone here write poetry or haiku's ? in the forum Poetry 1 year, 5 months ago
Thanks!
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Janellebelovedpig replied to the topic Does anyone write rap lyrics/rap music? in the forum Music 1 year, 5 months ago
I realize this chat is over a year old, but wanted to share that I have gotten into raps, poems, and the like. I got to record one about God’s grace: https://youtu.be/yrHhTPSYUr0
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Allison replied to the topic Does anyone here write poetry or haiku's ? in the forum Poetry 1 year, 5 months ago
@elanor @overcomer @janellebelovedpig @starshiness
Those are great! Here is one of mine I found, I wrote it for some of my best friends who were leaving the neighborhood a few years ago. Its dosent really rhyme, but the words flow great together!
The neighborhood By- Allison C
Everything you said, everything you did
Changed the ne…[Read more]
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Esther replied to the topic A Place to share/write whatever we’re working on: Worldbuilding, plot, etc in the forum General Writing Discussions 1 year, 6 months ago
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