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@DRAGON-SNAPPER
We’re Re branding. “Dark Evil Overlord Stanton” was too heavy handed and confusing to my underlings who were under the impression that we were the good guys. Solution: Remove “evil” from the title.Since I can’t keep up I’ll just say two things.
1. “DARK Overlord” does NOT equal “evil overlord”.
2. Should the title actually be “Chosen One of Three”?
@dragon-snapper, Fun fact, getting captured by dragons is actually how I got my Marketing job here at Kingdom Pen. Also, the fact that dragons smell like coffee is the number 1 reason why I was trying to capture them.
Welcome to Kingdom Pen! So glad to have you here! I too like to debate and would like to invite you to defend your claim that the ancient Greeks are superior to the ancient Romans.
The claim that Greeks are better in “every way” is overstepping a bit, so I will allow you to retreat to the claim that the Greeks are better “over-all” than Romans. Of course, I reject both of these claims for the following reasons.
1) The Roman Empire was longer and stronger (~350 years compared to ~500 years)
2) The Romans improved on Greek technology and art
3) The Romans literally defeated the Greeks
4) The Roman Empire allowed for relatively safe trade to exist throughout the Mediterranean Sea which in turn allowed for Christianity to spread throughout the known world at that timeIn short, the Romans offer everything that the Greeks offer, but better. They were also more organized and more powerful.
A voice slowly crackles in over the Castle’s PA system.
“This is Dark Overlord Michael. I am terribly sorry that Stewie had to literally vanish, but I needed him elsewhere. As you all know, Stewie is helping me run the Stewards of the Pen team and has already lost track of his duties. I am sorry for all the confusion this may cause. You are free to continue your game of volleyball, unless you are also expected elsewhere in the castle at which point you too will experience a similar fate as Stewie’s paradox. Sorry, rules of the world are rules of the world.”
Clearly, Dark Overlord Michael left the PA system on as the sound of foot steps and a door closing can be heard. A moment of silence follows. Then, new voices are heard muttering to one another.
“Did master just say blue smoke?” said the first voice.
“I think so,” replied the second voice, “Say, speaking of blue smoke, did the troll-thingys in the east wing ever get that under control?”
“I’m not sure. All I know is that master is probably going to fire everyone in the east wing if he finds out about it.”
“Say, speaking of master finding out about things, did you hear what happened down in the dungeon?”
“No, why?”
“Oh man! Are those guys in for it!”
The sound of pittering feet can be heard just before the door flies open and a third voice is heard shouting to the others, “Guys! The PA is still on! Master is coming!” an enormous clatter is heard as the three voices quickly exit the PA room, but not without breaking a great many items on the way out due to their hurry.
Several booming footsteps are heard followed by what sounds like the door colliding with the floor. The Dark Overlord’s voice can be heard muttering as the cord to the PA is cut.
Stewie, realizing that he is technically in two places at once, and knowing full well that the paradox that first realizes it is a paradox is the first to vanish, promptly vanishes in a cloud of blue smoke.
Stewie takes a sip of tea with his free hand while the other remains firmly in the pulsating grasp of @i-j-anderson. After hearing the remarks of @anne-of-lothlorien and @dragon-snapper, he notices his smart watch flopping up and down as his shirt sleeve dances up his fluttering arm. His eyes grow as wide as his tea filled cheeks when the volleyball collides with his face, ejecting his tea onto the sand along with his previously nonchalant composure.
“Master is going to kill me!” Stewie jumps out of his wicker chair and suddenly snaps his attention to the disaster that is the volleyball courtyard. Blue smoke still billows from the turret above. Stewie’s body whips back and forth, not noticing that his numb arm is still firmly set in the clutches of @i-j-anderson.
“I do apologize, everyone. But I did not think a game of volleyball would so quickly become so destructive. I’m afraid do not have time to prepare the Kingdom of Pen’s castle before I must send out the courier rabbits to fetch the new recruits for their Steward training.” Stewie scratches his head, momentarily forgetting there was still tea in his cup and the the cup was still in his only free hand. He was so deep in thought that the heated liquid streaming off his scalp did not seem to bother him. “Or was I supposed to send the battle rabbits… at any rate– Ow!”
Stewie reaches down to pull a broken piece of mug from his now bleeding foot. Doing so without dropping his own cup nor releasing his Excalibur of a hand from the stone that was @i-j-anderson.
“Drat! I really must go release those rabbits! Master will not be pleased.”
“@christi-eaton, I’d love to hear that playlist!” Stewie looks @that_writer_girl_99’s spilled tea. “You know, maybe playing volleyball AND drinking tea is not the best…wait…actually why not? Let’s see how long we can keep the ball up in the air while sipping this stellar tea!”
Stewie enthusiastically snatches the ball and drags over some wicker furniture from the side of the courtyard onto the sand. He sits up very strait in one of the chairs and makes an aristocratic Englishman face as he lifts the daintiest of cups to his lips and takes the daintiest of sips. After setting the cup down he looks down his nose at everyone and says, “Begin,” at which he promptly serves the volleyball.
“Thanks @delightinlife! I am enjoying it pretty well! A lot of really cool stuff going on. Plus, I love the architecture. Very medieval without being too depressing. Also, Volleyball isn’t usually THAT dangerous, but I’d be curious to see if you can still make it work.”
“@christi-eaton: I like this music. Very interesting vibe. I love listening to mixed genre stuff most of the time. Also, I’d love a cup of that tea. It is decaf right? Caffeine tends to make me kinda jittery.”
Stewie stops the rolling @dragon-snapper proof volley ball under his sandal.
“Hey, @emma-flournoy and @that_writer_girl_99, no worries!”
Stewie kicks the ball back over to Dragon Snapper, curious exactly how dragon proof a ball (or anything for that matter) could be. He pulls out a phone and some Bluetooth speakers and starts playing the new Drew Holcomb and the Neighbors album softly for everyone.
“Sorry about that, @christi-eaton! What kind of tea was that? Maybe Dragon Snapper could heat up another pot? I’m pretty sure there is a pot around here somewhere.”
@dragon-snapper, Lol! You are free to use me in whatever capacity for your story you wish. I just wanted you to get an idea of what I could be as a villain in this sort of parody.
A dark vapor seeped through the cracks of the door as heavy footsteps echoed ever closer. Slowly. No…Methodically. Yeah, methodically would probably be the best word to describe the sound. A sound that was only interrupted by a brief silence, some murmuring and cursing about armor cinching up, and followed by what sounded like a metal boot creating dents in the door. Another brief silence. More murmuring about losing the dramatic effect by this point.
After yet another unnecessary pause, the door burst open abruptly, literally flying of its hinges as it indented itself into the wall that it was once attached to. Amidst the dark vapor pouring from the door stood a figure ornate and terrifying(ish). His right fist clad in a gauntlet and held up in some form of greeting, or maybe it was just stuck in the knocking position.
“At long last,” the dark overlord’s words slipped through his crooked smile as he strode forward, arm still held in the knocking position. “How kind of you to invite me to your sequel.” It was patronizingly obvious that the dark lord was trying to be patronizingly obvious. “However,” the dark overlord’s tone shifted as he glared @dragon-snapper. A glare that was hard to decipher as his arm was still stuck in the knocking position. “I do NOT play second in command to anyone as pathetic as Thran, or Throy, or whatever his name was.” The overlord’s hand waved around despite the rest of his arm remaining ridged. “I mean really! How could I,” the overlord’s finger pointed at himself from atop its metal clad pedestal, “be second in command to someone as forgettable and cliche as what’s-his-name? No! I will rule my own unstoppable army of rehashed monsters, thank you very much. So…yeah.”
The overlord started to leave (whatever it means to start to do something) when he turned back and pointed his oddly positioned finger @dragon-snapper. “And you know what else? Just because we’re villains doesn’t give you the right to make us lose all the time.” The overlord seems to be getting kind of choked up, making things awkward for everyone. “I mean, Darth Vader kind of made out pretty good, killing rebels or whatever. Why’d you gotta kill all those troll things and lock up what’s-his-name?” By this point the overlord is really losing his cool. Like, straight up tears are flowing. “I’m sorry, but some people just aren’t fulfilled until they’ve conquered everything. Is that any reason to lock them up? You…You… MEANY!”
Thankfully, the dark overlord began to storm out. His thunderous footsteps shook the room and the door was dislodged from the wall. As it fell, it collided with the overlord’s ridged arm. Despite its immensity and density, the overlord’s arm remained unmoved as it punched a hole through the wooden planks. The overlord stopped in his tracks, pursed his lips, and then sighed. “Could we um– Could we just pretend this never happened?” With that, the overlord awkwardly fandangled himself and the door through the vapor filled opening.
@Daeus For your rating questions, you might consider structuring them based on agreement.
So, instead of asking:
How much does a book’s prosaic quality influence whether you will share about it with others? (the writing style)You would say:
A book’s prosaic quality (writing style) influences whether I will share it with others.
Strongly Disagree 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 Strongly AgreeI only say this because this is more widely accepted methodology and if you are looking to share the data with others, you need it to be acceptable methodology. It also allows for statistical caparison between questions because there will be less unexplained variation from question to question.
As a general note, try to ask yourself what each answer could mean. If you can think of multiple ways a single question or answer could be taken by a reader, try splitting up the question or making it clearer what you are asking for. At the same time, however, try to find ways to be concise. It is a little on the long winded side at the moment and could use some tightening.
@warrioroftherealm
Talk to me a little more. What exactly is slowing you down or what are you unsatisfied with?A HUGE part of writers block for me is not knowing how to tie everything together (I have a VERY intricate backstory because the story is about uncovering a mystery). For me, I had to figure out a way to tie all of my main character’s backstories together so that they would have motivation to be at odds with one another in the actual story. Once I got a solid, tightly knit backstory together, I was able to hammer forward.
Just wondering what is getting you stuck.
@dragon-snapper, LOL!
@warrioroftherealm, yeah, it totally answers the question. I like that concept. Especially if that is something the MC is usually really good at (sword fighting that is). forcing him out of his comfort zone is a great story choice. It can also force you to think of creative ways for him to get out of difficult situations, making it more fun for the reader.
