Masyn

*horrified gasp* Oh my goodness @Daeus let me see it! *drops gavel with clatter, springs in terror from her seat* Oh no, why did you have your hand there!?!?

Yes! Any opposed? *glances happily around* No?
Good.
*slams gavel down on desk with resounding crash* MOTION PASSES!!!!!

@Daeus ah. My bad. 🙂 I do see how that could be better, now that you mention it.

Reading through you guys’ comments, I’m seeing a lot about the German characters’ stilted speech, so I may be the one who’s wrong here, but I kinda got the impression it was supposed to be that way because they couldn’t speak proper English. @writefury I am mistaken?

@writefury, I like it! I mean, I like them…the stories ideas, that is. 🙂

Oh, stop! You made my empathy kick in. *sobs miserably* But I can’t write with you, I’ve got singing…. Quick, someone come and write with @daeus.

Yes it was a recent critique. You can read the rest of it in the Short Story forum.

*sigh* @writefury

@daeus I won’t be able to join you today in writing as I’ll be out. Sorry.

@Daeus YES. I have surprised myself over and over again with the realization of what I was doing. Mostly it was with dialogue tags, actually— said furiously, shouted angrily, etc. etc. While there’s not anything particularly WRONG with those, it sounds better if I say ‘snapped’ or ‘screamed’, and it also lets the reader draw their own…[Read more]

ACK!!!!!!!!!! ACK ACK ACK GIVE ME THE REST GIVE ME THE REST I WANT TO SEE JEAN’S FACE WHEN SHE REALIZES COBALT IS ALIVE!!!!!!!!!!!! *collapses in nervous wreck on floor, melts into tears*

No complaints. Absolutely no complaints— just one thing, and it’s not really something badly done as much as it is something that could have been done…[Read more]

@Daeus, YES, THIS IS SO HELPFUL. Thanks for sharing, Daeus! I struggle with “telling,” too, and it’s nice to know that I’m not the only one. 🙂

*shrugs into huge furry usurper’s cape, swirls it dramatically, scowls at topic and adjusts massive golden crown* Topic— I have come to usurp you.

I guess the most important thing I’ve learned editing my WIP is a little difficult to put into words. The key symptom is over-describing things, but that’s not really the problem. Or rather it is,…[Read more]

Your game sounds like a story I tried to write. It was an attempt to do a fairy tale spin off by putting Snow White, Cinderella, Belle, Sleeping Beauty and Rapunzel all in the same book as sisters. Their parents left on a journey and their evil uncle tried to take over the throne.

@rolena-hatfield, Ooo, that’s a great story idea! 🙂 That would…[Read more]

@Rolena-hatfield that is lovely! Oh boy, I may take you up on that one… *rubs hands delightedly* Oh, that would be so fun… 😀

AWESOME TOPIC @DAEUS. I agree one hundred percent with everything you said. Do you mind of I ‘usurp’ 😉 your topic and share some things I’ve learned through editing as well?

@rolena-hatfield Thank you. I’ll see if anything comes of it. 🙂

I once had a story idea about a boy whose father leaves to head to the other side of the mountain to become king. He leaves his wife and son behind. The boy goes after him. Along the way he makes friends with a wolf (who is the main character, he’s the narrator) and ends up saving…[Read more]

@christi-eaton If you like giraffes jump to this topic Anna’s Savanna by BlueJay (Under short stories) and have a read of my story for me and let me know what you think.

Hahahaha… not quite that impressive, I’m afraid. 😉 I will! Thank you for the invitation! 😛 😉