ryry

@esther-c

That’s a really great point. So, Ami does know what the sun looks like and what sunrays are. The Orb simulates the weather in a way where it looks pretty real, but it regularly flickers, or doesn’t adjust to the weather outside. For example, weather can penetrate the Orb (like, rain can go through it), but the technology of the Orb was…

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@otherworldlyhistorian

Great idea!!

I really need to worldbuild for Aletheia more. 🤦🏻‍♀️ This will help me finally get to the religions. I have a feeling they’ll be pretty close to real-world religions, since their world is very similar to ours, but I’m not sure yet. 🤔

@freedomwriter76

Have you RPed next for Will/the brothers, or did I miss it?

(I think my last RP is on pg. 348)

@princesachronicle22

Anwyn cringed, knowing that it was the sound of the strange foot coverings these savages chose to wear.

*gasp* Oh my word, is she talking about shoes?? That’s awesome!! XD I felt confused like she was at our human world, but in a good way. I could really see the world through her eyes, so great job!! 😄

As for the t…[Read more]

@acancello

I really like it!! I get a feel for the characters even more than the other way you had it. (For me, getting a feel for the characters is really important. 🙂 ) I loved the description!! 😄 Great job!!

@mineralizedwritings

I think the first one is pretty good, but I think they all need to be more parallel. (This is something I’ve struggled with in naming the books in my trilogy) It always depends on the series in how your naming them. For example, the titles from WFS are exactly parallel. On the Edge of the Dark Sea of Darkness, North! Or Be Ea…[Read more]

@lightoverdarkness6

Aww I love the sunrise part! And sweet Ami…and Ev!!

Yes, I love those two!! 🥰

These two paragraphs were my favorites. You did them so amazingly well! I love how she’s realizing that God created it, and thanking him for it with her joy. ❤❤❤

Thank you so much!!! 😊❤️

I love how Ami views nature like that. (I have another cha…[Read more]

@freedomwriter76

I love that!!! I could really see the sunrise in my head, and it was sooo good!!! AMAZING job, girl!!! 💖💖💖💖

Thank you so much!!! 😄😊🥰❤️

That means a lot!! ❤️

@thearcaneaxiom

How well simulated is the Orb’s sunrise? Would it look cartoonishly fake? Like a yellow spot going up and down, or does the Orb make it look far more like t…

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@mineralizedwritings

I love those 😍😍!! Yes, I think it can work. It sounds good! 🙂

@esther-c

Aww I love the sunrise part! And sweet Ami…and Ev!!

Slowly, the sky grew lighter, and the edge of the sun began to peek over the horizon. The dew glistened in its light. It illuminated the sky with hues of rose, peach, and daffodil. The sunlight…

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@princesachronicle22

Wow!!!! That’s SOOO good girl!! I love the detail and how clear it is. 😍😍😍😍

I have that problem too, like smoothly transitioning scenes, especially for memories and flashbacks.

Hmm…well, you could connect the next scene with maybe Anwyn like wincing at the memory, or some kind of reaction.

Or maybe Vermilion could say…[Read more]

Okay so if anyone is interested I have a snipit of a chapter I’ve been stuck on for a while, honestly it’s probably the unconcious guilt of making my characters suffer XD

So some of you may know Anwyn from the KP Library. But anyway, if anyone is interested in reading it (though it’ll be a little out of context) and could give me some ideas on…[Read more]

@mineralizedwritings

I like it. However I think the second two could be shortened somehow. At least the second could be turned into Afterthoughts of the Abandoned or something, unless the Left Behind is a particular reference to a group by that name. Either way, they’re good titles for the series!

@mineralizedwritings

Love it!!!!

@godlyfantasy12

I know right?

And yes we wanna know what happened to Pax!!! Poor baby boy!! I-I

@loopylin

XD That would definitley be entertaining for me

@princesachronicle22

Ah! Serin! No! Her father seems terrible. 😡 You should add him to the castle so I can have one of my charries beat him up.

@godlyfantasy12

That’s okay! I probably didn’t tag you right XD I’m glad you like him!!!

And yay! I think it would definitley be interesting for her to meet them!

@godlyfantasy12

I did one a few day’s ago, did you miss it? Or do you want me to do another one?

Cuz, I’m not sure what he should do XD

@esther-c

I love it! I think the descriptions are good, but I do have a few questions. How well simulated is the Orb’s sunrise? Would it look cartoonishly fake? Like a yellow spot going up and down, or does the Orb make it look far more like the real thing, and they just knew it was fake? If it look looks like a giant bright yellow dot that goes…[Read more]