@linus-smallprint
Active 1 week, 1 day ago- Rank: Eccentric Mentor
- Total Posts: 1293
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hybridlore replied to the topic The Flames of Hope Saga Book 3: Land of Shadows in the forum Novel Critique Requests 1 year, 5 months ago
No worries! I get it. I just wondered.
(Another thought, the priests think Leon is dead from what I know. I don’t know if they ever learned that the arrow did not hit him. But this person wrote the letter directly to Leon.)
Ohh, good point!
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Ellette Giselle replied to the topic The Flames of Hope Saga Book 3: Land of Shadows in the forum Novel Critique Requests 1 year, 5 months ago
Oh, one other thing. @hybridlore says it seems unclear that the prince is dead. I don;t know if you saw our conversation, but if you did, what are your thoughts?
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Ellette Giselle replied to the topic The Flames of Hope Saga Book 3: Land of Shadows in the forum Novel Critique Requests 1 year, 5 months ago
Sure, he can try. He’s been trying for the last few minutes. It’s not going to do much good. He’s a sixteen-year-old kid against several temple guards.
They’re going to win.
On a side note, I wonder what the Priest’s motivations are (other than hatred of God). Seems like control over the people may be a big one, possibly w…
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Ellette Giselle replied to the topic The Flames of Hope Saga Book 3: Land of Shadows in the forum Novel Critique Requests 1 year, 5 months ago
Big Yikes!
he made it though! 😅
I don’t think you intended this, but this is a little harsh. The way he said it, it comes across as challenging unbelief. Like Leon is saying, ‘Do any of you now dare to disbelief after what happened to me?’ I think it’s the way he starts the sentence. ‘Can any of you deny…’ This might no…
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Ellette Giselle replied to the topic The Flames of Hope Saga Book 3: Land of Shadows in the forum Novel Critique Requests 1 year, 5 months ago
@hybridlore   @koshka  @keilah-h   @elishavet-pidyon  @liberty
@linus-smallprint  (I know you haven’t had a chance to get to yesterday’s, but I’m impatient. Sorry.) 😂
NEXT SECTION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Night had fallen about the city, and the occupants of the palace were retiring to their rooms. Prince Dietrich had excused him…
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Ellette Giselle posted an update 1 year, 5 months ago
@koshka @linus-smallprint @hybridlore @elishavet-pidyon
Hey,
I’m not sure if you are aware, but google is about to get really dangerous. Starting this Spring they are going to start combing emails, chats, search histories, google docs, etc. and selling the info they find. My family is canceling all Gmail accounts, (I have Proton already)…[Read more] -
Koshka replied to the topic Let's Laugh! Writing Memes in the forum Art 1 year, 5 months ago
Oh good gravy, yes… that’s way too true. XD
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hybridlore replied to the topic The Color of Hope in the forum Novel Critique Requests 1 year, 5 months ago
@linus-smallprint @ellette-giselle @koshka @whalekeeper @theshadow @keilah-h @theducktator
New chapter on the doc. 😉
Also, TCoH reached 50k on Saturday!! 🥳
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Ellette Giselle replied to the topic The Flames of Hope Saga Book 3: Land of Shadows in the forum Novel Critique Requests 1 year, 5 months ago
@hybridlore @linus-smallprint   @koshka  @keilah-h   @elishavet-pidyon  @liberty
NEXT SECTION!!
Over the next few days, many came to Christ due to the events in the city square. The Sabbath came, and Leon eagerly watched for Marius and the prince. They arrived, and Leon greeted Dietrich, slapping him on the back. “How are you two?…
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TheShadow replied to the topic The Woods of Rosen in the forum Novel Critique Requests 1 year, 5 months ago
@keilah-h @hybridlore @ellette-giselle @the_lost-journal @liberty @whalekeeper @linus-smallprint
As of right now, I have re-done parts of The Woods of Rosen which are now integral to where the story is headed (this is because I realized they would work better for the story and characters). So, I’m thinking instead of posting the chapters of the b…[Read more]
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hybridlore replied to the topic The Color of Hope in the forum Novel Critique Requests 1 year, 5 months ago
XD No worries. Seems like it worked pretty well!
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Ellette Giselle replied to the topic The Flames of Hope Saga Book 3: Land of Shadows in the forum Novel Critique Requests 1 year, 5 months ago
Another teenage boy? How many does she have and why is she introducing another one?
Dude. You are so mean. 😝
Yes, you’re right. I can’t just go change his age. Thank you!
Yes, but Wilhelm is the traditional spelling. 😁 (you still say it Vwilhelm)
Having the heir to the throne on your side is helpful. But I’m sure t…
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Ellette Giselle replied to the topic Let's Laugh! Writing Memes in the forum Art 1 year, 5 months ago
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Ellette Giselle replied to the topic The Flames of Hope Saga Book 3: Land of Shadows in the forum Novel Critique Requests 1 year, 5 months ago
@hybridlore @linus-smallprint   @koshka  @keilah-h   @elishavet-pidyon  @liberty
NEXT SECTION!!
The sixteenth year of Emperor Haidronias’s reign
December 10th
The EmpireTo Johannes, Heinrich, and the brothers at the University,
Greetings in the name of our Lord, Jesus Christ
Such wonderful news! Prince Dietrich, son of Emperor Haid…
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TheShadow replied to the topic The Woods of Rosen in the forum Novel Critique Requests 1 year, 5 months ago
Hard to follow the rule of staying on the path when the path itself won’t cooperate.
Yep lol.
Nice!
You guys really like the slap part huh? XD
Looks good! Waiting for the next part.
Thanks!
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Ellette Giselle replied to the topic The Flames of Hope Saga Book 3: Land of Shadows in the forum Novel Critique Requests 1 year, 5 months ago
@hybridlore @linus-smallprint   @koshka  @keilah-h   @elishavet-pidyon  @liberty
NEXT SECTION!!
The next Sabbath, Hans did not return, but Julian was pleased to see Marius slip in and sit down. With him was a young man who appeared to be in his mid to late teens. Marius leaned over and whispered something to his companion who nodded. Ju…
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Ellette Giselle replied to the topic The Narrow Path Trilogy – Book II: The Sword in the forum Novel Critique Requests 1 year, 5 months ago
I don’t know. It didn’t really stand out to me, but then from your notes I knew it was going to happen.
Whaley did make a strong point.
I think you could go either way.
Honestly, maybe a mix is best.
Either your original way with a little more listening, or Whaley’s way with a little more anger.
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FIREQUACKER replied to the topic The Narrow Path Trilogy – Book II: The Sword in the forum Novel Critique Requests 1 year, 5 months ago
It did seem a bit off character. I don’t know that she’d necessarily be considerate, but I think she’d be more annoyed than mad. Or if she is mad, it’d be for getting them in this mess to begin with.
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Stepheroni and Cheese replied to the topic The Narrow Path Trilogy – Book II: The Sword in the forum Novel Critique Requests 1 year, 5 months ago
What do you all think? Is Tyn’s reaction in Chapter the 1st in line with her character? Or do you think she would take a more considerate approach like Whaley is suggesting?
Hmm. It’s a hard question. I’ll have to give it more thought–I found that her reaction didn’t quite suit her, but I can’t really pinpoint why. It might be a…[Read more]
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Ellette Giselle replied to the topic The Flames of Hope Saga Book 3: Land of Shadows in the forum Novel Critique Requests 1 year, 5 months ago
yeah, the girl slaves were in the house.
Okay…. maybe. That’s a big gap between the twins tho. I may change it. I have a new character in his 20s coming in.
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Thank you for the heads up!
Huh, weird. Thanks for letting me know.
yeah, you’re welcome.
Eeepers. That’s downright creepy. Thanks muchly for the warning.
No problem. I wouldn’t want y’all to get your work swiped! (or all your personal correspondence for that matter.)
Okay, thank you for letting us know.
I’ve noticed that you haven’t commented on either my story or hybridlore’s. Is this the reason why? Would you like us to switch to a different file-sharing option?
I have been buried under a pile of work, so no, that’s not why. I’m actually moving right now to take a look at them. However, come the end of next month I will have canceled my google account and will no longer be able to access either of your stories.
👍 I will see if I can find a different way to share my story that will be more suitable.
Thanks.
You have a month, so no rush.