@linus-smallprint
Active 8 hours, 5 minutes ago- Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
- Total Posts: 529
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Stephie replied to the topic The Narrow Path Trilogy Book I: The Cost in the forum Novel Critique Requests 2 months ago
Sometimes, just describing other things they’re doing with their body language is helpful. For example, observing a conversation between my sisters that’s going on right now, I can see a lot of things they’re doing that don’t involve looking at one another:
- Blowing bubbles with gum
- Toying with the carpet
- Cupping their…
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The Ducktator replied to the topic The Narrow Path Trilogy Book I: The Cost in the forum Novel Critique Requests 2 months ago
By the way, does anyone have any advice on writing things happening during a conversation? I need more things than ‘character1 looked at/glanced at/stared at/turned to/anything else involving looking at character2′.
Do they fidget or have any nervous habits?
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Ellette Giselle replied to the topic The Narrow Path Trilogy Book I: The Cost in the forum Novel Critique Requests 2 months ago
Hmm, I like it!
Let’s see. How about nothing to do with the characters. Mention what’s going on around them. Someone shouted something, pans clattered, wind picked up, a bird chirped, children giggled. Etc. That might help.
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Keilah H. replied to the topic WIP: Let There Be Light, Book 1 of The Flames of Hope Trilogy in the forum Novel Idea Critiques 2 months ago
@ellette-giselle @linus-smallprint
The Monastery of Spinjitzu
will I never be rid of the influence of Lego ninjagoI’m joking btw, it’s not a bad Lego theme (I mean the TV show gets really dark sometimes but besides that, I’m talking about the theme itself)
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Keilah H. replied to the topic The Narrow Path Trilogy Book I: The Cost in the forum Novel Critique Requests 2 months ago
@linus-smallprint ooh interesting! Alan is joining Stripe’s cause?
One question: What’s up with the names Cyrus, Anamynth, Iskyagus and Opitarus? Are these lyens? Kinda odd, because all the lyen names up to this point have been cat-related, and I can’t see any connections with these names.
also I have literally no idea how to go about a…[Read more]
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Keilah H. replied to the topic Let's Laugh! Writing Memes in the forum Art 2 months ago
@linus-smallprint LOLLLLLL
you missed Mexico and New Zealand though.
Now, if those two countries happen to be underwater when Canada undertakes its conquest, then I can’t say I blame you.
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Ellette Giselle replied to the topic Let's Laugh! Writing Memes in the forum Art 2 months ago
Okay, now I’m starting to believe that sign.
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Ellette Giselle replied to the topic Let's Laugh! Writing Memes in the forum Art 2 months ago
I literally saw this on my way home from work. I could not restrain myself. Sorry Linus.
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Ellette Giselle replied to the topic WIP: Let There Be Light, Book 1 of The Flames of Hope Trilogy in the forum Novel Idea Critiques 2 months ago
Yay! The tag worked!
I am curious what this hat looks like. Is this one of those flat hats, with a brim that goes over the eyes?
I’m not sure. This is what it looks like:
Is this the first time you have left Aaron’s perspective?
Yessssss………. but I was thinking about doing it in the next section and wanted to do it m…[Read more]
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Ellette Giselle replied to the topic Let's Laugh! Writing Memes in the forum Art 2 months ago
Haha!!! I have No idea what you are talking about. It’s not like I’m driving and my dad says, “Turn left” so I hold up my hands just to make sure which way is left………………..
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Ellette Giselle replied to the topic WIP: Let There Be Light, Book 1 of The Flames of Hope Trilogy in the forum Novel Idea Critiques 2 months ago
The next morning, Aaron was so sore he could hardly walk. He staggered downstairs and found Alicia in the kitchen, fixing breakfast. Sabina was upstairs getting the little children dressed. Alicia looked up when Aaron entered. “Good morning, Aaron.” She nodded toward the table. “Sabina left that for you.”
Aaron walked…
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Ellette Giselle replied to the topic WIP: Let There Be Light, Book 1 of The Flames of Hope Trilogy in the forum Novel Idea Critiques 2 months, 1 week ago
Sure thing!
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Ellette Giselle replied to the topic WIP: Let There Be Light, Book 1 of The Flames of Hope Trilogy in the forum Novel Idea Critiques 2 months, 1 week ago
No problem. I’m only a little bit eager for you to read this because as soon as you are done I can send it to me editor……. no pressure. I don’t know why @keilah-h has dropped out of this. I’m guessing she’s still reading…..
Do you want me to tag you again if you have not responded by Thursday, in case for some reason…[Read more]
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Ellette Giselle replied to the topic WIP: Let There Be Light, Book 1 of The Flames of Hope Trilogy in the forum Novel Idea Critiques 2 months, 1 week ago
That’s it? I wait for four days to get a response from anyone and I get one sentence! I am affronted! lol. XD
Nope, not sent to war, though I wouldn’t put it past the Empire. Right now it’s just forced labor. With a teeny, weeny bit of pay.
I should post tomorrow so keep an eye out.
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Ellette Giselle replied to the topic WIP: Let There Be Light, Book 1 of The Flames of Hope Trilogy in the forum Novel Idea Critiques 2 months, 1 week ago
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Ellette Giselle replied to the topic WIP: Let There Be Light, Book 1 of The Flames of Hope Trilogy in the forum Novel Idea Critiques 2 months, 1 week ago
Here’s the next section.
Time passed, and for a while things seemed normal. Aaron, Noah, and Darrien worked odd jobs here and there, scraping just enough coins together to pay for the needs of each day. However, that was soon to change.
“Aaron! Play with us!” begged Joseph.
“I haven’t got time,” replied Aaro…
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Ellette Giselle replied to the topic WIP: Let There Be Light, Book 1 of The Flames of Hope Trilogy in the forum Novel Idea Critiques 2 months, 1 week ago
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Ellette Giselle replied to the topic The Narrow Path Trilogy Book I: The Cost in the forum Novel Critique Requests 2 months, 1 week ago
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Ellette Giselle replied to the topic WIP: Let There Be Light, Book 1 of The Flames of Hope Trilogy in the forum Novel Idea Critiques 2 months, 1 week ago
Wow… I know it is the job of authors to torcher their readers, but that is mean.
Oh, you have no idea what I’m capable of.
Yes, this is what I would like to see earlier. This shows a sense of longing.
Got it. Will go through and add.
This Empire is strict. I do not want to know what they would have done for COVID-19 r…
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Keilah H. replied to the topic WIP: Let There Be Light, Book 1 of The Flames of Hope Trilogy in the forum Novel Idea Critiques 2 months, 1 week ago
@linus-smallprint LOL you got your character and hers confused? That’s too funny.
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