Linus Smallprint

@freed_and_redeemed  @hybridlore    @koshka   @keilah-h    @elishavet-pidyon   @liberty  @linus-smallprint

NEXT SECTION!

When Leon woke, the light in the shed was very dim. He could hear the sound of voices and pounding and feet hurrying back and forth outside. “I wonder what they’re doing,” he muttered. He began to wonder how the villagers…

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@freed_and_redeemed

YIPPPY!!!!!!!!!

OOOOOOooooooo!!

This is going to be a good one!

one thing I noticed, you capitalize this mysterious “he” and in my mind a capitalized “He” makes me think of God/Jesus. I know it’s not, but it’s the first thing that came to mind. So maybe lowercase it?

Anyhow, this was really, really good! I…[Read more]

@whalekeeper

What kinds of hairstyles do you usually wear?

I usually wear my hair in mini braids threaded with gold ribbon. For parties, I wear it half up have down most of the time and sometimes it is beaded.

What is your best subject in school, and does school really matter because of your birth privilege?

Though I am good at all of my subjects,…[Read more]

I love the trope when a character starts crying and whoever they’re with at the moment starts inwardly freaking out because they have no idea what to do because they’ve never seen that character like this before, and they are NOT good at being the emotional support friend but they want to help and what on earth are they supposed to do??? I…[Read more]

@keilah-h

aw, thank you!

@keilah-h

Draft 4 = I think it’s great, lets let people tear into it and see if it really is.

@keilah-h

Haha! That’s funny. I do have a weak spot for tragedy.

This is draft 4.

I make no comment what-so-ever.

@keilah-h

Thanks!

Hmm. We’ll have to see.

@freed_and_redeemed

You like it?!?!

Aw! That means so much!!!

@keilah-h

*Nods.*

oh, btw, did you read the section?

@keilah-h

and this

@keilah-h

This is Bastille

@hybridlore

I’m like 95% sure they’re going to survive.

Wow.

This is all that came to mind.

@keilah-h

It’s a girl.

@linus-smallprint

I don’t need no Literary License.

I think so. It’s still early in the book. You could kill them all off and switch to a different character at this point as the protagansit, but that would be really weird as you have already established Leon and Julian as the protagonists.

hmmm.

@linus-smallprint

For the reason Leon mentioned. Reflexes happening faster than recognition.

Aha. Makes sense.

From this description, first the yelling and banging, then coming down to see everyone else only just standing there, I thought there was a riot outside. So I was surprised to learn that it was only snow and that there had been no…

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@hybridlore

Oh!

well this is a surprise.

First off, I had expected wails of protest.

Secondly, I was expecting comments about Aelic’s character, so the Julian remark totally threw me off. 😂

Thanks though!

@freed_and_redeemed  @hybridlore    @koshka   @keilah-h    @elishavet-pidyon   @liberty  @linus-smallprint

NEXT SECTION!

The next morning, Julian woke to the sound of voices and banging. He leapt to his feet and yanked on his boots. Leon was already pulling on his hat and beat him into the other room.

When Julian arrived, he found Marti…

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@linus-smallprint

I think you are pacing this well for a return journey

Phew. Thanks. 😅

Sneaky. But not wise.

why?

😁