Linus Smallprint

@jonas

Svlys

“What do we have here?”

Svlys turned towards the newcomer, feeling instant dislike. This woman was much more threatening than Fracture. She put a hand on her gun. “Who are you?” She asked.

@jonas

I don’t really want it.

@keilah-h

Ok, so yeah, GRCR and Hanako left, so Flaz Lane and Leon are gone. We still have Nahim, Nora, Ellis, Kate, Zahlin, Ottoline, Hugo, Kari, and Snake, ofc (I think that’s everyone?).

We just started the next day. Everyone is in the hall eating breakfast, I think. Fennin will tell ppl what to do afterwards.

Svlys

Svlys attempted – and failed – to keep a straight face. “Compound fracture?” She snickered, “Like, a broken bone?” She slipped her gun back into its holster. This man didn’t seem very threatening, though he seemed to think himself frightening.

“I’m terrified.” She said blandly, “Really, really scary.” She tried not to laugh again and fai…[Read more]

@highscribeofaetherium

I started laughing while writing this XD

@savannah_grace2009

He’s just too funny 🤣🤣

@jonas

Well…that was intense.

Good job!

@jonas @highscribeofaetherium @rae

Fracture

He heard distant footsteps, but didn’t think much of them. He was too engrossed in his mourning ceremony to give them much thought.

That is, until someone nearly kicked him in the head.

“AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” He screamed, his voice cracking horribly halfway through his scream. He jumped to his feet,…[Read more]

@thearcaneaxiom @jonas

This is indeed a big change. You may be changing a bit too much, while change is good, you can halt your progress completely by making to many revisions (*says as if I wasn’t the most guilty of this exact thing). However, first person can help more with experiential writing, which I think is more your style anyways. I t…

[Read more]

@jonas

Wow 😮

@jonas

 I’ve never read a first person novel with multiple POVs, but that’s not to say they don’t exist.

Oh, that’s funny! I’ve read WAY more first person novels with multiple POV’s. i’ve read more of those than third person POV’s.

@jonas @thearcaneaxiom @highscribeofaetherium

So with my revision of my WIP, I’m changing things a little. I’m thinking of writing it in first person now. I started writing yesterday, but now I’m stuck! How should I continue?

Also, is there anything I could improve on?

(Am I changing things too much?)

Chapter 1

The world is a dark…[Read more]

@highscribeofaetherium

Just fight him or something. The Sword chirped, That always seems to help.

Lol

Zahlin

Nahim was looking at him with murder in his eyes. And now Fennin wanted them to make peace?

“Hard to make peace with a man who just threatened to chop of my head.” Zahlin muttered.

Just fight him or something. The Sword chirped, That always seems to help.

“Help get one of us killed?” He asked as he followed everyone into the hall, k…[Read more]

Ottoline

She opened her eyes and sat up. Rays of light seeped in through the windows. She turned over in her bed. They were all exhausted.

“Do we have to go downstairs to eat breakfast? I mean have to?” Hedieh was saying from the bunk directly above Ottoline’s. “Because I don’t want to get murdered by a guy with anger issues.”

“I don’t want to…[Read more]

Svlys

Svlys walked down the dark hallway. She could hear someone wailing ahead. She sped up.

She almost tripped over a guy lying facedown on the floor. She yelped in shock, drawing her gun (right, I forgot to mention she has one of those. A very early type).

“Are you ok?” She asked, “What’s going on here?”

@jonas @savannah_grace2009

I can go.

@esther-c

Great job! Yesterday I wrote 1,167.