@linus-smallprint
Active 2 months ago- Rank: Eccentric Mentor
- Total Posts: 1290
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Linus Smallprint replied to the topic WIP: Let There Be Light, Book 1 of The Flames of Hope Trilogy in the forum Novel Idea Critiques 1 year, 7 months ago
That’s it? I wait for four days to get a response from anyone and I get one sentence! I am affronted! lol. XD
Yeah, this is a mix of me being busy/kingdom pen not letting me know that you have posted new stuff despite the fact you properly included my tag. Sorry.
If you post tomorrow, please know I may not comment on it until T…[Read more]
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Linus Smallprint replied to the topic WIP: Let There Be Light, Book 1 of The Flames of Hope Trilogy in the forum Novel Idea Critiques 1 year, 7 months ago
Well, that’s one way to get a job. I feared at first that the three guys were all being conscripted and sent off to war.
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Linus Smallprint replied to the topic WIP: Let There Be Light, Book 1 of The Flames of Hope Trilogy in the forum Novel Idea Critiques 1 year, 7 months ago
So do you think him calling an end to the meeting that day was wrong?
No. Aaron did not decide on more church services period. But I know the characters are going to try to hold another church service, and this was a possible solution that occurred to me for how they could continue to hold services with minimum conflict. If you…[Read more]
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Linus Smallprint replied to the topic The Narrow Path Trilogy Book I: The Cost in the forum Novel Critique Requests 1 year, 7 months ago
Well, there is the older of my two sisters, who was into writing long before me. So that makes two.
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Linus Smallprint replied to the topic WIP: Let There Be Light, Book 1 of The Flames of Hope Trilogy in the forum Novel Idea Critiques 1 year, 7 months ago
I almost wrote a fake scene where he did, just to see how you would react. But I didn’t have time. XD
Wow… I know it is the job of authors to torcher their readers, but that is mean.
Did it not come across that way?
Not really, sorry. I was under the impression that he had already accepted that he was staying in
It was hard, b…
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Linus Smallprint replied to the topic The Narrow Path Trilogy Book I: The Cost in the forum Novel Critique Requests 1 year, 7 months ago
What’s it with all these readers being eldest siblings? I should go check again with my siblings to see what they think of Martha. (My brother will probably try to tell me his suffering as the youngest is much worse, but whatever. I could maybe show some of his frustrations in Eric, even if Eric is not the youngest.)
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Linus Smallprint replied to the topic WIP: Let There Be Light, Book 1 of The Flames of Hope Trilogy in the forum Novel Idea Critiques 1 year, 7 months ago
Okay, I was right. Aaron did not leave Sabina (good lad). If you want it to be harder for the reader to see what is coming, Aaron will need to miss his family more and long to return to his homeland earlier on.
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Linus Smallprint replied to the topic The Narrow Path Trilogy Book I: The Cost in the forum Novel Critique Requests 1 year, 7 months ago
Oh yeah! Tyn does not like doing dishes, so Alan could be her hero, cleaning up after she finishes cooking something.
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Linus Smallprint replied to the topic The Narrow Path Trilogy Book I: The Cost in the forum Novel Critique Requests 1 year, 7 months ago
Where is my nagging deadline?
See my previous post.
I listened to your soundtrack suggestions, thank you for sharing them. Here are my thoughts.
Alan theme:Â Looking at the lyrics for this, this does not quite work for him. However, there is another character that this is almost a perfect fit for. I think the lyrics of this work…[Read more]
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Linus Smallprint replied to the topic The Narrow Path Trilogy Book I: The Cost in the forum Novel Critique Requests 1 year, 7 months ago
I’ve read everything up until now and am patiently (read: impatiently) awaiting the next chapter.
I am aiming to release this by the 21st. Realised for the first part of the chapter I still needed to figure something out, but I am close to coming up with a solution, so I should be able to start working on in soon amid my assignments.
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Linus Smallprint replied to the topic The Narrow Path Trilogy Book I: The Cost in the forum Novel Critique Requests 1 year, 7 months ago
Thank you for mentioning that. I see your confusion. I might use Furr, since I don’t think I have used that as a name in this story. I also may add a sassy note from the narrator that will be something like the following:
(No, not Nehss as in the soldier we met earlier, this is a different Nesss. While spelling varies, it is a very…
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Linus Smallprint replied to the topic The Narrow Path Trilogy Book I: The Cost in the forum Novel Critique Requests 1 year, 7 months ago
Are you the eldest child? (The reason I ask is that some of Martha’s frustrations come from me being the eldest child, and I am wondering if people who are not eldest children also find her relatable.)
Also, it sounds like you have read everything I have posted so far. I take it you do much to say, but I am curious to know what…[Read more]
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Linus Smallprint replied to the topic The Narrow Path Trilogy Book I: The Cost in the forum Novel Critique Requests 1 year, 7 months ago
Yes, I am also the eldest sibling.
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Linus Smallprint replied to the topic Art Challenge! in the forum Art 1 year, 7 months ago
Thank you for the description! I will get to this if I have time.
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Linus Smallprint replied to the topic The Narrow Path Trilogy Book I: The Cost in the forum Novel Critique Requests 1 year, 7 months ago
yes, this fixes everything.
Good
Considering that I have only scene you talk about younger brothers and that you found Martha relatable, I guess yes, you are the eldest.
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Linus Smallprint replied to the topic Art Challenge! in the forum Art 1 year, 7 months ago
Well, now you’ve learned a little more about describing characters and how that impacts how your reader imagines them!
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Linus Smallprint replied to the topic The Narrow Path Trilogy Book I: The Cost in the forum Novel Critique Requests 1 year, 7 months ago
How far are you into the story?
Ah good. Someone relates to Eric.
You should give a glossary of Rorian words at the end or something! It might help the jokes stick better. The explanations actually make it funnier than the jokes would be alone, but I still feel like something’s missing. I like it though, don’t remove it.…
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Linus Smallprint replied to the topic The Narrow Path Trilogy Book I: The Cost in the forum Novel Critique Requests 1 year, 7 months ago
@theducktator @loopylin @stephie @theshadow @ellette-giselle @keilah-h
I changed my mind. There is one more scene I want to write before The Rebel. Chapter the 17th is now The Role Model.
With this chapter, I have now reached 50,000 words! Whew!
Question for you all. While this series is primarily directed towards believers, I want un…[Read more]
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Linus Smallprint replied to the topic WIP: Let There Be Light, Book 1 of The Flames of Hope Trilogy in the forum Novel Idea Critiques 1 year, 7 months ago
*goes back in corner to sulk because not only did the bomb not explode in your face but you picked up the wrong one altogether*
I’m sorry. I have a too-healthy sense of self-preservation to pick up explosive things. I guess I really did go after the fish instead of the shoes. (Next time don’t tell me there is supposed to be a big…[Read more]
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Linus Smallprint replied to the topic WIP: Let There Be Light, Book 1 of The Flames of Hope Trilogy in the forum Novel Idea Critiques 1 year, 7 months ago
I think something is keeping this plot twist from being effective. As far as I can remember, there has been no talk from any of their characters about fleeing from the land. You’ve already told us that the characters were trapped in the city for over a year. I was under the impression that they had accepted this fate and all…[Read more]
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