Linus Smallprint

@hybridlore

Up to the 6th chapter. Liking it so far. It looks like your opening is well-structured for the most part. I feel drawn in and can feel the tension. Sara finding the religion stuff interesting when others seem to think it boring or not worth their time makes her a character I want to follow.

One thing. From the opening scene, I was…[Read more]

@ellette-giselle

Do you think it’s worth it despite objections, or does the bad override any good you might get out of it in your opinion?

I think this one is skippable. Overall, I didn’t enjoy the story, and not just because of the content concerns.

Wow. I wrote a lot there, didn’t I…

@ellette-giselle

You want to get into Sanderson more, eh?

I’m honestly stunned that Brandon can write Alcatraz and Tress. They are so different! He’s skilled!

Yes. And Mistborn is another thing altogether.

great book, and thanks for the recommendation (indirect or not)

You’re welcome!

I have really wanted to read the Nightmare Painter one, (I saw…

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@ellette-giselle

Your book reviews are awesome!!! They’re like Plugged In for books!!

Thank you. I haven’t done one in a while. I should maybe do one on Dusties by Brett Murrell.

you did mention objectionable content several times. Was that just the lying, swearing, and violence, or was there inappropriate relationship things as well? (Not to sa…

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@theshadow

The rewrite of the chapter looks good.

Question of you. What draft number is this?

@hybridlore

Sorry I’m late.

Sounds interesting. Sure, I will give your book a try. I’ve sent an access request from Justin Russell (the 458th one apparently).

@theshadow

Sorry, I’m late. (By a week too, yikes!) But now I am here and have read the two chapters you posted. So far, it looks good. You can tag me on the next chapters.

The general plot of the story is that the townsfolk in Rosen, an isolated town surrounded by a forest, go missing, and two twins and three of their questionable allies are…

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@ellette-giselle

I promise it was completely coincidental.
this time.

Well, you’ve already got a Roland for my dad, and a Julian and Adrian for two of his brothers. If you manage to get the names of his other three brothers in there, then I’m going to be suspicious. (You however did get what was almost the name of the 5th brother, Quinton)

@theducktator

That’s why I think it would be easier to do if Tyn was there. She would bring up all the objections, so it would be easier to show that I don’t approve of forced labour.

Thank you for your feedback. I will think about it further.

@elishavet-pidyon

Very nice! I really like the squirrel. The scientist is another one of my favourites. Your watercolour is good. That is a style I would like to get into, but never have gotten around to.

@the_lost-journal

You’re welcome!

@keilah-h @ellette-giselle

Thanks for the feedback! I thing I will go with this then.

In regards to your suggestion, Ellette, I think I might go with something that. I noticed in those paragraphs, I had fallen back into the narration style I used in the first draft. (Awkward! Overly Defensive!) This is probably part of why it feels odd to you.…[Read more]

@ellette-giselle @theducktator

Thanks for the feedback! I feel like everything is coming together now. I’m going to try to get this outline polished this week so that I can send it off to my editor for her thoughts.

Ducktator, did you see that note I added on the idea of using a slave to push Alan in the direction of trusting and obeying The…[Read more]

@the_lost-journal

Sorry I took a while to get back to you.

Of the projects you shared, The Kingdom of Kaimor sounds the most interesting to me. (Like Keilah, I like animal-hybrid races) Horror/Thrillars aren’t my thing, so A Cellar’s tales and P.I.-C.A.F.E are probably the least appealing. I did read that bit of A Cellar’s tales that you sha…[Read more]

@elishavet-pidyon

That would be awesome (illustrating and taking commissions). I hope it works out! Your style is beautiful.

Thank you!

Nope! Not sure which route to take with this.

I recommend a portfolio page, a contact form, and an ‘About Me’ page. If you need any help with this, I am a Web Designer. (Though I should really make one for myself…[Read more]

@ellette-giselle @whalekeeper @keilah-h @stephie @theducktator

Before I move on to writing the first draft of book II, I want to get a feel for how writing my magic system with the changes I decided to make. I have rewritten Chapter the 30th to get this. What do you think? If you think this works, I will replace what I currently have in my second…[Read more]

@ellette-giselle

Okay, caught up to the section where the Klein become Christians.

“When do you wish to meet Roland?” Rolf asked.

At that moment, there was a knock on the door. Before anyone could speak it crashed open. “Rolf! Where are you, Rolf? You were supposed to go hunting with me yesterday! Where were you?”

“That would be Roland,”…

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@ellette-giselle

Thank you for letting us know. I hope this goes well. Will be praying for you and your family as well as for wisdom for your dad.

@ellette-giselle @whalekeeper @theducktator

Now that you’ve all had a chance to read the outline of The Sword, some questions:

• As a reader, is this a direction you would be satisfied to see the story take?
• What do you think of the character development you see in this (specifically for Alan, Martha, Eric, and Cyrus)?
• Now that you’ve seen…

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