@koshka
Active 2 minutes ago- Rank: Eccentric Mentor
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Leo
“Aye. We’re headed down. or rather…” The elevator came to a clicking stop. The door swish clicked open. “Looks like we’re down already. Come on.”
He stepped out into the dimly lit basement. Machines whirred and whined, muffling the ring of their boots against the concrete as he led the way around and through. Oil and cold iron left a faint stain on the air. The underbelly of Destina, the unseen backbone that kept the entire school running; his domain. He ran a hand along a shuddering beast of a generator, checking a few gauges and valves as they walked.
“You know, kid, it doesn’t seem to matter what planet or world you’re on, there’s always going to be these background, closed up, spaces that the pretty, outside world is built on. They have to be cleaned out on the regular or they’re gonna get dirty, twisted, broken. People are like that too, except instead of gears and pipes, we’vw got hearts with memories and dreams.”
He shoved open the break room door, flicking on the light, and turned to smile back at Rory. “Now, let’s get you settled in.”
First Grand Historian of Arreth and the Lesser Realms (aka Kitty)
Fork the GorkOh gracious. Yes. XD
In Leo’s defense, if was a comparison someone else made, and mostly depended on the “galavanting around administering interplanetary justice”, although Leo is more trying to outrun said justice too so…
First Grand Historian of Arreth and the Lesser Realms (aka Kitty)
Fork the GorkLeo
Level 0. This place had a funny floor plan. He punched the button and leaned back against the wall as the elevator began its decent.
Rory was giving him a weird, confused look. What had he said? Done? Leo lifted an eyebrow. “Yes? What is it?”
First Grand Historian of Arreth and the Lesser Realms (aka Kitty)
Fork the GorkAh no, I meant Percival’s brother. Or, I think you said that his “brother fights better” than him.
First Grand Historian of Arreth and the Lesser Realms (aka Kitty)
Fork the GorkOops. Poor Eddie. At least this kid does actually like to dance.
First Grand Historian of Arreth and the Lesser Realms (aka Kitty)
Fork the GorkSprite kid don’t get it. XD
Sypher
He followed the lasses in, settling into the seat be across from them.
“Eddie. Ellie. Ah.” He blinked at her in concentration. Grinned. “I am named Sypher, but everyone who doesn’t call me that, calls me Syph. As for dancing, or rather…I don’t believe I understand. What days are open”
First Grand Historian of Arreth and the Lesser Realms (aka Kitty)
Fork the GorkLeo
He grinned. “First off you’re going to sit on that couch in the basement break room and sort a bucket of bolts and screws that I accidentally dumped together last week. Or maybe that was two weeks ago.” He paused to blink up at the ceiling for a moment, then refocused on Rory. “Anyway, you’ll do that while I check the work order list and see what Liko’s up to. You know, make sure we don’t do the same thing twice.”
Which, granted, wasn’t always a bad thing. The duct tape incident was still pretty recent.
Their footsteps clicked as smooth tiled floors gave way to bare concrete. Leo stoped at the service elevator.
“Sis, you good to take Monkey to class?”
She huffed an exaggerated sigh. “I have to visit the kindergarten class? What hardship.”
“But Ms Charlie is fun!” Quincy’s pout suddenly changed to a confused frown. “What a hawd ship?”
“Hardship. Something that’s not fun to do.”
“But I like ships!”
Leo ruffled the little boy’s hair and smiled. The elevator door opened with a ding! He herded them all inside and mashed the third floor button as the doors swooshed closed.
“We’ll drop you two off at Quincy’s floor, and then head down. Now listen,” he dropped to one knee be on eye level with Quincy, “Don’t hesitate to use your button, okay? Good. Love you, Monkey.”
He gave the boy a hug and smiled as he felt small arms wrap tight around his neck for a moment before the elevator door creaked open and the two youngest Bennecks embarked on their day.
First Grand Historian of Arreth and the Lesser Realms (aka Kitty)
Fork the GorkWelp, I didn’t get it all typed up and posted before work, so here it is a few more hours late.
Good gravy, it was hard to pick. I probably spent way too long staring at them all till I’d forgotten all my first impressions.
A very interesting scene and character. The whole room oozed creepiness, which reflected the story’s feel beautifully. Your grammar and style has a flowered tone, which makes me feel like I’m listening to a harold when I read your writing. It makes reading your work very amusing to me. I enjoyed it. Is this a villain from your WIPs, or something you came up with here? I feel sorry for the maid that has to deal with that woman.
You used a straightforward voice here without many fancy words. It gives the character a solid feel and helped me feel like I understood him and he wasn’t trying to lie to me. It felt more like a character sketch than regular flash fiction. (Also, the name Lord Quackers cracks me up everytime I read it. Congratulations. It’s great.)
I feel sorry for Ignatius, but also, wow, all her cookies? May I aspire to be as generous.
Your descriptions are vivid and clear. The abnormalities of the characters don’t feel big/unreal when in story. A kid fireball? Why of course! It was very enjoyable. I sympathize with Ignatius and his sister.
Oh gracious. That microwave is very much totaled. I remember doing some stuff growing up for the “name of science” but it was mostly just seeing if hand soap or toothpaste cleaned the bathroom counter better.
The overall tone sounds like a kid writing their own autobiography with all the dramatic flare they can think to add. I’d guess the character is quite a handful. It was a lot of fun to read.
Random, but I do like the name Percival. It just has this snide, offhanded smirk that is very character-ish.
Are they brothers, or did something happen to Damien’s brother? Because now I’m wondering. I liked how you introduced the scene and then let parts of the back story unfold itself in the character’s actions and thoughts. I’m intrigued by how they got to this point of daily dueling.
Alrighty, I’m going to throw a 1st place ribbon at Whaley and say she’s now flash fiction judge for the next round (or she can elect someone else if she needs to).
I think second place goes to Rae with the very creepy setting, and third to Ducky and the story that made me laugh the hardest.
And everyone gets raspberry chocolate cake and ice cream because you made it really hard to decide anything. So congratulations. You’re all amazing.
First Grand Historian of Arreth and the Lesser Realms (aka Kitty)
Fork the GorkOkay. I think I have time today to finish up here and get stuff posted for y’all. If it’s not posted tonight I will (lord willing) get it posted tomorrow morning.
First Grand Historian of Arreth and the Lesser Realms (aka Kitty)
Fork the GorkThe pocket thing. XD
Leo
The lorry rolled to a squealing stop. It’s doors swooshed open. Time to move.
Leo braced against the back of the seat in front of him as he helped Rory to his feet. Then they shuffled down the aisle with Silvia and Quincy close behind. The steps squeaked under their feet.
Students filled the sidewalk around them, bustling and laughing and jostling backpacks on their way to school. A few yards away the crowd thickened, if possible, as those students crammed through the front doors. It’d take them fuve minutes just to get inside, if they went that way.
Thankfully that wasn’t the plan.
Leo put an arm at Rory’s back and his hand at his elbow. He had to raise his voice a notch to be heard over the cacophony of children. “Come on. There’s a staff entrance just a few steps this way. Keep hold of the Monkey, Sis.”
They wove their way back through along the sidewalk. The crowd thinned the farther they got from the doors. In another few painfully short steps they reached the side entrance.
It was a small door, keypad locked and painted a dull sandstone beige to blend in to the stonework. He swiped his card and entered the code with one hand, then pushed through.
He let the door fall closed behind them. They all had to blink at the change from brightening sunlight to florescent bulbs. Bags of sidewalk salt sagged in the corner, waiting for winter. Someone had left a weed eater propped up against an empty coatrack. It smelled lightly of oil. Leo grinned.
“Welcome to behind the scenes, Destina edition.”
First Grand Historian of Arreth and the Lesser Realms (aka Kitty)
Fork the Gork*Gasp of joy*
He’s perfectly amazing. I love the goggles. They may now end up in his character design. And the tools. Yes. XD
Kinda want to change my profile pic now…
*Suddenly realizes I’ve never done an aesthetic for Leo. Or his book*
First Grand Historian of Arreth and the Lesser Realms (aka Kitty)
Fork the GorkI enjoyed the ending as well…though not at first! 😂
Yeah, I knew that was probably going to be most reader’s reactions. I actually let one of my non-kp friends read it and I think it majorly confused her. XD
I love your descriptions and adjectives! Some examples: smogish, hard nailed, smutted.
Thanks!
I am curious, though. How did Timon and Maribel make this agreement in the first place?
I’m not sure since these characters came out of nowhere just for this snippet, but I imagine he had been watching her awhile, defended her from some other street their, and decided this little not-rich but still happy girl needed a guard. Probably after she started sharing her lunch with him.
Congratulations!
First Grand Historian of Arreth and the Lesser Realms (aka Kitty)
Fork the GorkAye! You have my vote!
First Grand Historian of Arreth and the Lesser Realms (aka Kitty)
Fork the GorkHere it is either way.
Cobblestones
The boy glanced warily about another smogish street before making his way across. Maribel would be here any minute now, and he needed to be here to see her safely home. That was his side of the agreement. She was always on time, always happy to share a bite of gingerbread and a laugh. His friend.
A policeman strode by. The boy faded into the shadows as he passed, eyes locked on the man’s swinging baton. He stayed there, leaning behind a battered crate, until the sharp click clack of hard nailed shoes disappeared around the block. The boy crept out from his hiding place to watch him disappear. To glare even after the black clad figure was gone. Angry shopkeepers and policemen might have long memories, but nothing compared to the type a street brat carried.
The boy suddenly stiffened. Relaxed. A schoolgirl was coming his way. Her dress was clean and white, the type more often seen on summer holiday than the middle of October. Maribel. His dark eyes softened at her smile, at the way the pink bow in her hair bounced with each skipping step.
He glanced ruefully down at his shirt, noticing new smears of blood and dirt from last night’s fight, and touched his split lip.
But Maribel took in his battered, smirched appearance with those quiet eyes and soft, “Good afternoon, Timon. How has today been?”
“Ol’right miss. Got a hot roll fer breakfust.” The memory brought a rusty grin to his face. The bread had been dropped by a rich fool with more carelessness than charity. Not that Timon was pickish over where his next meal came from–or how.
She hummed in reply. He took the small, paper wrapped thing she offered him and fell instep beside her as he unwrapped it.
“Half a meat pie, miss? My! Thanks miss.” He’d crammed most of it into his mouth at once before remembering that his companion was from ‘polite’ society. She only laughed. The pasty was gone as fast as he could swallow, leaving him to lick his fingers as he eyed the street.
Their footsteps made an odd pair as they wove their way up blocks of dusty brick walls and smutted windows; a barefoot gutter rat walking with the well shod daughter of the parish. Other dark eyes watched them, but the boy kept Maribel away from their alleys. He knew his part of the agreement.
As they turned onto the last block Maribel spoke up again. “It’s going to be cold tonight. If you need a place to stay, our house is always open.”
He laughed and shook his head.
“I’m a street rat, Mari. Ain’t made fer houses an walls.”
“But those walls keep out the snow.”
He shrugged and didn’t reply. Maribel might be a friend, but she was just a kid. Her father on the other hand, well now. Never knew what a grown up might do. Besides, the boy had seen snow before, and although it made it harder to hide when the policemen came swinging their batons, streets were free.
He walked her all the way up to her front door with it’s clean swept step and worn knob dully shining in the evening light. It was like, and yet not like, every other house crowded together on the street. The boy hung back as she reached for the knocker, letting himself fade into the growing shadows. He would just wait until she was safely inside, until he knew he’d done his part. A frosty wind had picked up; he stuffed his hands into his pockets.
The door opened, but instead of going in Maribel turned back to him with her gentle smile. She said something, but the boy almost didn’t hear her. He was watching the man who had opened the door. Maribel’s preacher father.
“Good evening, Timon.”
“Evenin’ mister.” He edged back a step and then stopped.
“It’s going to be cold tonight, lad. You’re welcome to come in for the night. There’s dinner if you’re hungry.”
And he opened the door wider so that a large patch of warm yellow light fell across the muddied cobblestones. The smell of hot bread and roast drifted by the boy.
He stared at the open door, suddenly frozen in that in-between place that wasn’t house and wasn’t street. The preacher man waited with a smile.
Click clack. Footsteps shuddered down the street. A shiver ran up Timon’s spine.
The policeman was coming.
First Grand Historian of Arreth and the Lesser Realms (aka Kitty)
Fork the GorkI have a story to submit, but it’s sort of…shifted a bit, so it doesn’t fit with the theme much anymore. Do you still want it?
First Grand Historian of Arreth and the Lesser Realms (aka Kitty)
Fork the Gork