Janellebelovedpig

@esther-c

Ohhhh my wordddd

Ok that actually makes so much sense. I felt like the story was moving too fast and wasn’t exactly sure how to slow it down.

Thanks for pointing that out!! <33

Glad I was able to help!!!!!

I do love your dialogue though…you’re so talented in that area!!! Just maybe breaking it up would help A LOT. Because too much o…[Read more]

@stephie

I feel like it totally depends on the situation.

Though, at least for me, something doesn’t feel right about saying “your religion is wrong and false.” Because that tends to get people defensive and push them away from Jesus. I feel way more comfortable with saying “I believe that there is only one God….(etc…)” and just sharing what…[Read more]

Goodnight lol

@power

Ah, good question.

Welp…I just spent half an hour reading the bible, especially Acts. And I have not found any mention of anybody specifically telling anyone that their religion is false or that their gods don’t exist. However, it does seem to be implied in certain places. For example, Acts 9:28-29

So he went in and out among them at…

[Read more]

@loopylin

There are some social situations where it would be inappropriate or pointless to start a fight with someone like that, but if the topic came up, then yes. Tell what you believe is the truth.

*smiles and nods but refuses to give opinion until more people have answered*

@linus-smallprint I’m a little late to the party, but I’ll help!

@savannah_grace2009

Ohhhh my wordddd

Ok that actually makes so much sense. I felt like the story was moving too fast and wasn’t exactly sure how to slow it down.

Thanks for pointing that out!! <33

@grcr

Mmm. If that’s how other books do it, I guess it could work. I looked it up and some people say to extend the vowels and smooth con…

[Read more]

@savannah_grace2009

Mmmm…that does make sense, I’m just not sure how to do that.

Instead of “hope”, my characters are trying to fix their problems themselves. Which might be a “false hope”, but I don’t really see it as hope. I understand what you mean, I’m just not exactly sure how to do that.

Ok! Yeah, again, do what you wanna do. But if you…[Read more]

@whalekeeper

WOW!! Those are awesome!

I don’t use references really. Unless it’s for outfits……….

@keilah-h

Nice!! I like it!

@linus-smallprint

I’ve been taking a swing at these documents.

Left several comments for you.

@linus-smallprint

Oh, so you did actually make them stay. But you’re zooming through this as well in order not to interfere with the pacing. That works.

Phew, glad it works. XD

I’m glad for this scene. Before I read this section, I was hoping your next section would have something like it. We’ve had many scenes of preaching the gospel, peopl…

[Read more]

@keilah-h

haha! Nope, no electricity.

It’s a mix. The more advanced kingdoms have a middle-ages feel, while the others are more Roman, old Britania, etc.

@keilah-h

I see, that makes sense. XD

 I’m assuming this means your story’s setting is basically an alternate Europe. Is the Common Tongue an English equivalent or something else?

yeah, just about.

Yes, English.

ohhhhh ok! I like the style, it makes it different than the other two

Good. That’s the goal.

@hybridlore

Yes, I am.

@hybridlore

Yay!!! *dance of victory*

😂😂😂 Talk about a rude awakening!

Lolol.

Well, Leon was hit in the face!!

I’m interested in Leon’s backstory more now. He seems to be hiding something from Julian and the others. It will be interesting to see him go back to where he used to fight.

idk if I’d say hiding it as much as hates to talk abo…[Read more]

@hybridlore   @linus-smallprint    @koshka   @keilah-h    @elishavet-pidyon   @liberty

NEXT SECTION!!!

Imperial Winters are not very exciting, so I’m going to try to cover the whole time in this next section. We’ll see if I can pull it off.

The fifteenth year of Emperor Haidronias’s reign
December 2nd
The Empire

Early this morning, I wa…

[Read more]

@liberty

they showed any arena.

Not my characters in it.

😉

We shall have to see.

@liberty

 

Well, I’m guessing someone is going to get thrown into a colosseum. You have five guys there…some of them are bound to get hurt…or killed. It just has to happen.

*shocked gasp* what have I ever done to my characters to make you think such dreadful things!

They technically don’t have a “Colosseum”. Just arenas and amphi…[Read more]

@liberty

lolol.

So, any thoughts on the third section? You only mentioned the first and second.

Any guesses concerning the future?