Hullofellowhumans

@freedomwriter76 @elishavet-pidyon @keilah-h @godlyfantasy12
Zlatan

The bay of a war dog. One small mark on time. Instant chaos in the ranks.

Hateful chaos and disorder.

The Desanik in Zlatan took over.

The tower door had been cleared, their paths somehow traced. By the sound at least half a dozen guards were already inside.

No time left.…[Read more]

@queen_of_alvastia

As far as edits go, it was confusing which character you were speaking for as the POV switches around. Are you writing omniscient view?

@queen_of_alvastia

Is he okay?

IS HE?!

I need to knoooow!!!!!!

@queen_of_alvastia

*Quiet voice in corner*

What just happened?

@godlyfantasy12

You’re welcome! This is my favorite type of book research too, so thank you!

@godlyfantasy12

Okkaaayyyy…*drags self back from hospital reports*

It looks like the wound is somewhat chronic, frozen in the stages just after bleeding, where the skin is sealed somewhat, but the wound is still open while no longer bleeding. which would make sense if it is painful from time to time. The magic would have to come in here as the…[Read more]

@godlyfantasy12

Ooo, wonderful tension! The things authors love to create yet struggle to write.

It sounds good so far; the emotions seem balanced to me.

How would Ara respond to November being hurt? How did she want to respond to Riven?

At this point it looks like she’s about to explode, which could manifest itself in various ways depending…[Read more]

@godlyfantasy12

I’ll need to check this, but it sounds like the wounds close up, but be scar tissue grows. Anyway I’ll be back on here once I’ve done some research.

@lydia-s

Ooo, here’s one I found recently.

@freedomwriter76 @elishavet-pidyon @keilah-h @godlyfantasy12

Vulkasin

Loud voices. The beginning of an argument. Shuffling feet on cold stone.

The barrack…

Something was digging into his side. Vulkasin tried rolling over, but the thing followed his movement. He finally forced open one eye.

The cross piece and pommel on his sword.

Why did I…[Read more]

@freedomwriter76 @elishavet-pidyon @keilah-h @godlyfantasy12

Mikkel

Rat-tat-tat

Screams, loud garbled voices. Zeroing in on his target, safety off.

Another kick shatters the door. Three more steps.

His feet pound down the stairs, racing against time. Flames snatch at his legs, slowing him down.

Another door swings open sending a stream of…[Read more]

@godlyfantasy12

Grimmy? Oh my, that’s… adorable. I can see how Lyn is with nicknames.

(Of course they stay snarky. Brothers are snarky.)

@freedomwriter76 @elishavet-pidyon @keilah-h @godlyfantasy12

Mikkel

This room wasn’t a very defensible position, but if the window was filled with sand bags- non-existent sand bags…

Hours upon hours of filling thousands of sandbags…

Mikkel lay down with his back to the door, his rifle beside him where he could keep his hand on it. With his…[Read more]

@queen_of_alvastia

You’re fine! =) It is an interesting tool though, but a hard one all the same.

@queen_of_alvastia

ONLY DO IT IF IT WILL HELP THE STORY! If the book’s good as is I wouldn’t add one just to deepen it.

It may cause trauma you don’t need.

*Weeps*

@godlyfantasy12

I enjoyed that way too much. I mean really, why do I enjoy reading about character deaths? I despise tragic endings, and a book that makes me cry is probably not going to be high on my list of I just want tos.

But that…that was beautiful.

And now I plead for more!!!

@freedomwriter76

Yeah, that’s really the only reason I’m still going through with it.

And the way it all works out is just so beautiful to this author.

@freedomwriter76

And this is why you can’t let that happen!!!!!!

@freedomwriter76

You said that so much better than me. XD

@godlyfantasy12

Good idea. *Sigh*

Well, the why Oswald dies is…um…to move along the plot by making Mikkel try to commit suicide.

That sounds awful.

And this is why I feel so cold hearted.

There are other reasons…although most of them are about as bad.