@hope
Active 6 years, 11 months ago- Rank: Eccentric Mentor
- Total Posts: 1092

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Mallory O'Bier replied to the topic The Moonlit Sea and Me in the forum Poetry Critiques 2 years, 11 months ago
Now that I think about it, I’m really stuck on the edits so I might as well share what I’ve got here and see if you guys can’t help me get unstuck. I’ve made a few small changes that you may notice, but the main thing that I’m struggling with is settling on an ending.
I’ve written several endings that all have slight variations in words and…[Read more]
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Mallory O'Bier replied to the topic The Moonlit Sea and Me in the forum Poetry Critiques 2 years, 11 months ago
Thanks, @karissa-chmil! This is definitely one of my poems that I find myself going back to a lot and rereading. The atmosphere and imagery of it really draw me in, and I like pondering the meaning of it. 🙂
One of the edits I’m considering is possibly connecting some of the shorter, broken lines in the part of the poem you mention. It’s supposed…[Read more]
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Mallory O'Bier replied to the topic The Moonlit Sea and Me in the forum Poetry Critiques 2 years, 11 months ago
Thanks, @koshka! I love the layered meanings of words too. It was funny because I drafted it so hastily and impulsively that I didn’t even realize the full depth of meaning I had woven into the poem–until I was reading and rereading while editing. It was intentional and yet much of it was subconsciously done.
I just let all of the mixed-up…[Read more]
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Mallory O'Bier replied to the topic The Shabby Guitar Poem in the forum Poetry Critiques 2 years, 11 months ago
Thanks, @koshka! That would be great. 🙂
I wrote this poem after my uncle’s passing. He was self-taught on guitar and left a few of the instruments behind (as well as many people who loved him).
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Mallory O'Bier replied to the topic Why was my post marked as spam? in the forum Questions and Support 2 years, 11 months ago
Okay, I just deleted the old post from my feed, redid the post and reposted it. It worked. 🙂 @kathleenramm
I think it must’ve marked it as spam before because I edited it a few times? Not really sure. Weird.
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Mallory O'Bier started the topic The Shabby Guitar Poem in the forum Poetry Critiques 2 years, 11 months ago
I’d appreciate any and all feedback on this one! It’s an older poem of mine that I really want to polish and improve. Thanks! 😀
The Shabby Guitar
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Silent is the shabby guitar
Locked and put away
Faded are the songs it made
Folded are the hands that played
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Silent is the shabby guitar
Slowly losing its tune
While people come a…[Read more]
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Mallory O'Bier replied to the topic Why was my post marked as spam? in the forum Questions and Support 2 years, 11 months ago
Thanks, @whalekeeper ! 🙂
Hi, @kathleenramm ! I haven’t tried reposting it yet. It’s still hidden so far as I can make out. I see on my profile that I made the post, but it’s still marked as spam in the thread section.
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Mallory O'Bier started the topic Why was my post marked as spam? in the forum Questions and Support 2 years, 11 months ago
So I posted a new post in the poetry critiques, but I had to edit a couple of times to make the formatting right. Suddenly, it was marked as spam and hidden? I’m confused.
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Mallory O'Bier replied to the topic The Moonlit Sea and Me in the forum Poetry Critiques 3 years, 1 month ago
Awesome, @acancello! I prefer that one too! 🙂
I’ll think about it for sure, @light-warrior-pen. 🙂
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Mallory O'Bier replied to the topic The Moonlit Sea and Me in the forum Poetry Critiques 3 years, 1 month ago
@avancello, your comments made my day! I’m so glad you like my poem! 🙂 It really makes sharing it worthwhile! I was seriously thinking about just burying this poem after editing it, but maybe I’ll publish it somewhere after all.
I’m actually considering altering one of those lines slightly, so I’m curious about what you think.
It would be…[Read more]
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Mallory O'Bier replied to the topic The Moonlit Sea and Me in the forum Poetry Critiques 3 years, 1 month ago
Endings are tricky, aren’t they? @light-warrior-pen ? Sometimes they come naturally and effortlessly, but most of the time they take a lot of staring at the WIP, then staring off at nothing, then staring at the WIP again, then writing gibberish, then…
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Mallory O'Bier replied to the topic The Moonlit Sea and Me in the forum Poetry Critiques 3 years, 1 month ago
Thanks, @elanor ! 😀
You grasped the concept of my poem perfectly! I’m glad you enjoyed it and found it relatable. 🙂 Because it’s very personal, I really wasn’t sure if anyone would be interested in it. I’m glad I decided to share it!
I’m still working on those last lines. I’m torn between fleshing them out and changing them a bit to better…[Read more]
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Mallory O'Bier replied to the topic The Moonlit Sea and Me in the forum Poetry Critiques 3 years, 1 month ago
Thanks, @light-warrior-pen ! I’m glad you liked my imagery. 😊
The subject is me, the author, and the boat and sea is a fictional, metaphorical dream I used to describe the feeling of living in myself, I suppose. (Although I was next to the sea and I have been in wooden boats many times. My da is a fisherman, so.)
I’m glad you pointed that out…[Read more]
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Mallory O'Bier started the topic The Moonlit Sea and Me in the forum Poetry Critiques 3 years, 2 months ago
Hey, everyone! This is my most recent, completed poem. Please critique it and let me know what you think! I’m looking for feedback an all aspects of the poem (including the name, and consistency of imagery), so don’t be shy if you have any thoughts to share. (I’m working on sharing my poetry more often and seeking regular feedback.)
Thanks!
The…[Read more] -
Mallory O'Bier replied to the topic Does anyone here write poetry or haiku's ? in the forum Poetry 3 years, 4 months ago
Nice poem, @acancello! And I like yours, @mineralizedwritings, and the Masked and Victory poems, @elanor. 🙂
I haven’t written any lately, I’ve been so busy with work. Maybe I’ll write one this weekend.
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Mallory O'Bier replied to the topic Does anyone here write poetry or haiku's ? in the forum Poetry 3 years, 4 months ago
That’s fun, @elanor! 🙂
This is my most recent poem. Most of my poetry is brief in length. Usually, I get out an idea or a feeling and then stop.
Forgottenings
Sediments of nostalgia shape a place:
Like icing on a cake, wrinkles in a face
Aging, changing, but ever the same feelings,
Nameless emotions, memories stirring
Like ghosts,…[Read more]
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Mallory O'Bier replied to the topic A Place to share/write whatever we’re working on: Worldbuilding, plot, etc in the forum General Writing Discussions 3 years, 4 months ago
Thanks, @freedom. Sometimes I have to remind myself that it’s not like I’m slaying a dragon, I’m just writing a book. How dangerous can it be?
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Mallory O'Bier replied to the topic A Place to share/write whatever we’re working on: Worldbuilding, plot, etc in the forum General Writing Discussions 3 years, 4 months ago
Thanks, @esther-c and @lightoverdarkness6. 😁👍
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Mallory O'Bier replied to the topic A Place to share/write whatever we’re working on: Worldbuilding, plot, etc in the forum General Writing Discussions 3 years, 4 months ago
I’m working on convincing my writing to become a book and not just random scribbles. I’ll let y’all know how it goes. 🙂
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Mallory O'Bier posted an update 3 years, 8 months ago
Wow. It’s been a while! How’s the forum these days? 😀
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@overcomer
Hello, Mallory!! I guess I should introduce myself. I’m Esther: a volleyball-playing, violin-squeaking, dog-obsessed, homeschooled, God-loving, amateur writer!!
As for the short answer to your question: Great!!
Now for the long answer:
It looks like you haven’t been active for a while. I’ll tell ya, lots of new people have joined since…[Read more]
Hi, Esther! Thanks, I appreciate the welcome! 😊 I’m glad to hear the forum is so active these days. Volleyball is cool! What position do you play? I was homeschooled too. I have a variety of hobbies, but right now I’m into archery (total beginner), watercolor painting, and walking. And I like all kinds of animals, but maybe cats the most (because…[Read more]
I play setter! Though that may change since I may be joining a new team this year. Idk yet. 🤷🏻♀️
Ooooh! Archery sounds cool!! We went to this place for my brother’s birthday in where you shoot arrows (in a variety of archery games), but obviously they are foam on the end. I was terrible at it. 😂
Watercolor painting is really neat!! I’ve done it…[Read more]
Only the nice ones. I agree with you there! How are you doing these days?
I’m doing pretty good!! School’s over, so that’s really nice. XD And summer break’s been fun. 😊 I’m going to be participating in some really fun things in June and July and I’m really excited. 😄 Plus I have a summer job, so that’s been fun. 😉
What about you?
I’m doing good! I’m working a lot between my jobs as a photographer’s assistant and a clerk at the library, and writing in between. I’m working on finishing a draft of my WIP within the next three months and getting my blog up. I’ve been writing some poetry and song lyrics too. I’m also trying to do and learn as many new things as possible because…[Read more]
Ooooh, that sounds like fun!! 😄
When you start up your blog you’ll have to let me know! 😊
Sure! 🙂
Hey! I’m new here…I joined in September.
I’m Sara, an avid reader and writer! I like all things music. I play the piano, know a couple chords on the guitar, play flute, piccolo, used to play violin, and sing in church.
Nice to meet you!