@highscribeofaetherium
Active 6 hours, 21 minutes ago- Rank: Chosen One
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Thanks guys.
A disturbingly short time ago, in a land uncomfortably close by...
Also please pray that the rest of my family will stay healthy, because whatever he has seems pretty bad.
A disturbingly short time ago, in a land uncomfortably close by...
Hey guys, please pray for my little brother, he’s sick rn and has an awful cough and is really miserable right now.
A disturbingly short time ago, in a land uncomfortably close by...
I read the beginning of your story (sorry it took me a while to get to it) and I think it’s interesting. If you post the rest when you’re finished, please tag me!
A disturbingly short time ago, in a land uncomfortably close by...
That looks great!
A disturbingly short time ago, in a land uncomfortably close by...
Yeah, we didn’t either, cuz we’re going on a trip today so we didn’t want to be tired.
Also, I’m mildly jealous that you consider waking up at 6 to be ‘sleeping in’, lol 😅
A disturbingly short time ago, in a land uncomfortably close by...
Happy new year!
Did you stay up til midnight?
A disturbingly short time ago, in a land uncomfortably close by...
You’re welcome (:
I’m glad you posted your art, and I hope that you’re glad you did, too, even if you’re not completely happy with it. It can be really hard to share something you created
A disturbingly short time ago, in a land uncomfortably close by...
XD I love that.
I forgot I still have to do GRCR’s ten snowballs.
A disturbingly short time ago, in a land uncomfortably close by...
I also very much love the cockatiel in the Chase drawing (or is it a budgeriteal?). It’s adorable.
A disturbingly short time ago, in a land uncomfortably close by...
Girl. Those are incredible. Seriously. Amazing. Wow.
A disturbingly short time ago, in a land uncomfortably close by...
Hey, Miley, welcome back! Good to see you again (well, not see, I guess, but you know what I mean :p)
A disturbingly short time ago, in a land uncomfortably close by...
Ok, I read the part, and I think it’s a good introduction to Lilitu. I don’t know if you want critiques, so try I’ll keep it at a minimum.
First of all, I don’t know if you had planned for Lilitu to have any more lasting injuries than some cuts and bruises, but from the level of beating he’s just received, he’s likely to have some cracked or broken ribs (which could damage internal organs), and/or a concussion. And if he was knocked out/unconscious for long enough for Cassian to find him, that’s bad. A beating this bad would probably hospitalize someone.
(disclaimer: I don’t know much about injuries and I get squeamish looking stuff like this up, so someone who knows more than me can correct me or provide more information. This is all by my limited knowledge)
(btw is Lilitu’s blood blue?)
It’s a bit unclear why the Aquinos didn’t kill Lilitu, since they seemed to want to. Did they assume he’d just die there?
The last couple of paragraphs seem like they’re telling us a bit too much about Lilitu. It’s ok to do a bit of that, but also give the reader a change to see some things for themselves. Show through his actions how Lilitu strives to be good enough. Show how he’s a bit jealous of Cassian. Readers are smart and can pick up on things.
I promise this is the last thing. I like the opening line of the chapter, it’s a good hook and it makes me want to read the rest. You might want to take the emphasis off ‘not’, though, because that sort of makes it read as if the end of the last chapter had said something about Lilitu being dead. Just a little thing.
This is, of course, all my opinion, and you are free to disregard as you wish.
Sorry, this turned into a bit more than intended. Hope that all made sense.
A disturbingly short time ago, in a land uncomfortably close by...
Yay, another section! I’ll read it after Christmas, cuz that’s probably when I’ll have time.
A disturbingly short time ago, in a land uncomfortably close by...