HighScribe

@ellette-giselle

lol there was a space in the actual doc, I don’t know why it didn’t transfer over…

This seems a little odd, because 1. it is one of the more standard ways of swearing an oath, and 2. as a soldier he would know this from training and wouldn’t need to be told. I would say something like “swear the oath” etc. Something that tell…

[Read more]

@hybridlore

lol, thanks. XD

@grcr

Good scene! I’m still not really sure what happened at the end… but yeah, I was expecting the dad to die too. 😅🥲

I like the siblings too (although their names are confusing, haha.)

@theducktator

Yay! Hope you feel better soon!

@ellette-giselle Haha, your signature! XD

@grcr

You are very welcome!!

Okay sounds good.

Okay, for a little more editorial feedback…..

and Emrysrushed

Second to last paragraph, you just need a space there.

And then structurally,

Put your right hand to your chest…”

This seems a little odd, because 1. it is one of the more standard ways of swearing an oath, and 2. as a sol…[Read more]

@ellette-giselle

eeeee yay!! 😃 I’m pretty much open to all feedback… yeah.

(I actually thought the dad was gonna die in this chapter from scene 1…. so I’m relieved that he made it. XD)

LOL

It’s like a family I know, expect they have 15 kids and it’s all “J” names.

😅 I guess great minds think alike lolol

Yeah, it’s not vital. It probably wo…[Read more]

@grcr

Ooo! This is interesting!!

(I actually thought the dad was gonna die in this chapter from scene 1…. so I’m relieved that he made it. XD)

A few typos I caught, but at this point I’m not sure what sort of feedback you’re looking for, so let me know. This is interesting and I’m eager to keep reading if you post more!

So man y kids… and…[Read more]

@theducktator

lol. No prob. XD

@loopylin

Rory

“Push you? If you’re sure…..” He stared in confusion for several moments. Then, bracing his hands against the back of the chair, he gave it a shove and let go, waiting to see what would happen.

@whalekeeper

Oh my goodness! He’s such a good sport tho to reply like that! XD

@theducktator

I’m glad you got through it with no huge mistakes. Colds always settle in my ears and I get sinus infections. Really bad ones. Colds can be nasty. I’ve never gotten dizzy from one though…… I think? 😄

Praying that it clears up.

@esther-c

praying for you, Esther!

@rae

Unvale looks fun

Lucille

“Why not tell everyone? They’d stop hating you then.”

@rae

I figured something like that lol

Lucille

“Huh. Okay.” She threw the hatchet again and succeeded. “Why don’t you tell your – uh – friends what you’re really doing?”

@whalekeeper

Gabriel Mai

“No. I don’t have anyone like that. Isabella is simply the one who gives me cinnamon buns while making some sort of banter comment.” Gabriel shook his head.

I will say Isabella most definitely has a crush on him, though he’s oblivious because he has no idea what that looks like XD.

@rae

Lucille

Lucy pulled the hatchet out of the tree. Her cheeks glowed red from the effort and her arms felt good from the exercise. She cradled the head in one hand and the handle in the other, striding back to Gabriel.

She didn’t smile very much, not doing so on the best of days, but gave him all of her eyes’ attention. “Is Isabella your sweetheart?”

@whalekeeper

Gabriel Mai

Gabriel clapped, genuinely smiling under his mask. “Just like that! No, only the Fourth knows I can throw hatchets. To my acquaintances, they would say I’d be the first one to die if a monster attacked because I have no self-preservation and they think I have no training,” Gabriel chuckled, amused by their opinions. “No,…[Read more]

@rae

Lucille

“Bet they wanted you because you’d win.”

She stepped forward, gray eyes focused sharply on the tree, and the hatchet sunk into the bark.