Esther

Almost there guyssss

@savannah_grace2009

I mean…it depends on what you mean by the inciting incident….I’m new to plotting XD In a way, Neveah being pregnant is the inciting incident, because it triggers a chain reaction that basically turns Sef’s world upside-down. If that makes sense. I’m not sure about if it is the inciting incident or not….but it is definitely so…

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Dis is gonna be a breeze 😎

@acancello

You’re not the only one! We eat at 5 too, lol.

@mineralizedwritings

Oh yeah, that’s something I easily forget about. Thanks for reminding me! I’ll definitely keep that in mind as I write and edit. 😊

@savannah_grace2009

Alrighty! Here we go!

1. Is it boring?? I’ve been really scared that this doesn’t draw you in and isn’t interesting.

Um, I wouldn’t say it’s boring. I think the pacing is pretty good. Honestly, boring is so subjective, so no, it’s not boring. Because I don’t mind things moving a little slower at the beginning. Some people m…[Read more]

@hybridlore

Yep!

Awesome!

Ev is obviously pretty reckless. He doesn’t seem to care about getting into danger, and I’m not really sure to describe his personality but he seems playful?

And Ami is sweet and responsible. She really cares about Ev and wants to protect him.

I think you just nailed them both in a few sentences. XD That’s exactly what…[Read more]

@rae

I may answer all your questions later, but for now, I am drawn into the story.

Alrighty, awesome! 👍

I see potential for this story to be better if you had at least one chapter before this that introduced us to daily life with the Orb. It would drawn me in more, and make us care about Ev and Ami more than just plopping them and the plot in our…

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@mineralizedwritings

Thank you so much Esther! I’ve been doubting my writing recently and really comparing myself to others, so it makes me happy you like it. I started writing in present tense as soon as I started writing, so after the initial hurdle (it was hard lol, I kept using said) it’s been pretty natural, because I don’t know how write…

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@jonas

I’m EST, so rn, 5 is a hit or miss for me. But I’ll try my best to show up.

@rae

I’ve been meaning to read this for a while and I finally got to it!! I only got to read the first chapter, but my brain is too dead to give any valuable feedback right now. Love it so far!!

I apologize in advance in the formatting is weird. I’m not sure how this is gonna look once it actually posts. XD

Chapter 1

“This was a stupid idea.” Everton Barlowe stared at the geometric building towering above him.

“I told you,” his best friend Amidala said with a smirk.

“Well, I thought it would work.”

“Ev, when would any of your ide…[Read more]

@freedomwriter76

Awww, Erichhh! 😭

But he sounds like such a cool POV to write from. 👀

@mineralizedwritings

I always love reading your writing. 😊 I feel like writing in present tense in becoming more popular now, at least in ya fiction, and I really enjoy it. I tried it once for a short story and failed miserably. 😂 But I might try it in a…[Read more]

@vinagirl

Ok, so I thought I made an introduction post but now I can’t remember. 😭 And if I did and you replied but I missed it somehow, forgive me. 😂 So I’m just gonna introduce myself now. 😝

I’m Esther: a volleyball-playing, violin-squeaking, dog-obsessed, homeschooled, fiction-writing, teen girl!!

It’s so nice to have you here!

I am the old…

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@keilah-h

Ok good 😁

Y’all I actually would have totally forgotten about this if I hadn’t seen your posts. 😂

@savannah_grace2009

Lukas

Lukas ignored Fynn’s joking. What did he know? But Lukas couldn’t keep from silently laughing at himself. He was suddenly being so defensive. And he knew why… Because, well… he really did like Livia, a lot. Like… a lot.

He blushed at his own thoughts. Maybe this was just a temporary feeling. Maybe Liv didn’t fe…[Read more]

@savannah_grace2009

I love it. If that’s what God wants you to do, then go for it! I’m sure people will still love your book nonetheless. No book and perfect, and if I’m being completely honest here… sometimes hooks are overrated…. 👀😂