Ellie Wingfeather

@trailblazer

Ofc! I love stories with that kind of friendship…makes me miss my best friend, lol.

@esther-c @acancello @trailblazer @grcr @rae @mineralizedwritings

Ottoline

“Ottoline! Where are you?” Hugo’s voice echoed down the stairwell. His voice contained some sort of urgency. “Ottoline!” She heard his footsteps coming down the stairs. “There you are,” he sighed when he saw her and smiled his crooked smile that never failed to make…[Read more]

@trailblazer

“I don’t want to lose you.” I was surprised to see tears welling in Etta’s eyes.

Aww, I love their friendship! This almost made me cry XD

I agree with Hybridlore, I don’t think the summary-type writing is a bad thing. It fits great with this story!

@esther-c @trailblazer

Yeah, it does end abruptly. I really don’t like this chapter, lol. I guess….more EDITING! SO MUCH FUN!!!! (not.)

@hybridlore

Maybe something like that? I mean, Lilitu already described what happened, sort of, and I feel like it gets a little graphic in the actual flashback part. But it’s really up to you, if you feel l…

[Read more]

@trailblazer

Yayy! Looks good! I don’t mind the summary kind of telling, I think it works well for this story.

@esther-c

That’s okay! Thank you!

@mineralizedwritings

I think Katrin needs a goal. even if it isn’t the typical dystopian goal about overtoppleing the government. She can also pursue one goal, then realize she has to reach even higher if you really want to push the climax. Maybe that’s when she gets a little help from side characters, or remembers the things she has learned ove…

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@thearcaneaxiom

I agree with Min and Jonas on everything they said. Resolve of the character will balance the unresolved political structure.However there’s still a lot of things you could do to end it differently. For one thing, most dystopias almost never talk about what happens after they take down the government. They need to reestablish e…

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@grcr

Thank you!

Also, @savannah_grace2009 I was gonna ask, how does she know that Lilitu dreamed exactly what happened to her before he even describes what happens?

@savannah_grace2009

I didn’t really notice it seeming clunky! I like the part where she’s thinking back to playing pretend with her friends, it’s so sweet.

Personally, for the flashback part, I think I would leave it out and give more of like a summary, sort of like:

She knew that this was no ordinary dream. And not just because of his reaction.…

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@freedomwriter76

Nice!

@savannah_grace2009

Yep! Here’s one I made for my WIP a while ago! Hopefully this doesn’t post twice, lol.

@rae @hybridlore @mineralizedwritings @esther-c

I’ve been working on this chapter this morning…and it feels a little clunky to me. Do you guys have any input that you think would make it run smoother?

Chapter 14

The air was pleasantly cold, nipping the tip of Sef’s nose as she walked in step with Lilitu. The sound of leaves crunching b…[Read more]

@hybridlore

Do you have any moodboards?

@janellebelovedpig

Never mind I just checked and I wrote 586 words…NOT a thousand… (same thing, right? XD)

@janellebelovedpig

That’s great that you finished it!

I wrote about a thousand words during mine.

@janellebelovedpig

Hey!

I’ll join, starting at :10, ending at :40 with you.

I have a hard time with getting distracted, but I’ll try my best to stay on task, lol!

@jonas

Sort of, lol. It’s usually hard for me to think of things my characters hate, unless it’s like really obvious lol.

@jonas

Right, so like the first impression they give others. That would be interesting. I think I’d prefer just to write a paragraph from the point of view of someone else, and see how the main character looks from their eyes.

Okay, yeah. That could definitely come in handy for some characters. For me, it’s kind of hard to think of things like…[Read more]