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Linus Smallprint replied to the topic The Narrow Path Trilogy – Book II: The Sword in the forum Novel Critique Requests 1 year, 2 months ago
@theducktator @ellette-giselle
Yeah, but the other reason to do it is to refresh the reader’s memory of the previous book. Notice that while Alcatraz complains about it, he still does it. The trick is to include it naturally instead of going out of your way to do it. So I hope to find a way to do that.
I think I will just stick with people who…[Read more]
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Keilah H. replied to the topic The Flames of Hope Saga Book 3: Land of Shadows in the forum Novel Critique Requests 1 year, 2 months ago
@ellette-giselle I can get behind having a gun and a shield inside the pulpit. He’s well prepared.
I don’t think my church has ever had a shooting in our area, but we still have people guarding around. I work in the pre-k Sunday school, and sometimes, if the weather’s nice, we take the kids over to the playground we have just outside the…[Read more]
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Linus Smallprint started the topic The Narrow Path Trilogy – Book II: The Sword in the forum Novel Critique Requests 1 year, 2 months ago
All right, I’ve done enough outlining now that I feel ready to start officially writing draft one of The Narrow Path Trilogy – Book II: The Sword! Whew!
So this means that soon, I will be posting chapters! I think for this one, instead of using Reedsy, I will use Google docs. (I will probably use Reedsy for a later draft). It will be under…[Read more]
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hybridlore replied to the topic The Flames of Hope Saga Book 3: Land of Shadows in the forum Novel Critique Requests 1 year, 2 months ago
Leon!!! I didn’t think you would kill him!!
I didn’t feel like the overseers punishing Leon instead of Ian was unrealistic. However, I’m starting to wonder what Ian did to deserve it. I know they’d had their eyes on him, but all he did was trip, right?
Julian’s scene was good too. I liked how it started raining and they were…[Read more]
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Keilah H. replied to the topic The Flames of Hope Saga Book 3: Land of Shadows in the forum Novel Critique Requests 1 year, 2 months ago
@ellette-giselle So Leon’s life was spared! I’m interested to see where this is going, then.
And Julian’s fire incident was a sad thing, but it’s true that such a thing happens. Even here in America we have the occasional church shootout or similar incident. Haven’t heard of church arson much (here in the US anyway) but it’s entirely possible.
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Koshka replied to the topic Fantasy/Modern School AU RP in the forum General Writing Discussions 1 year, 2 months ago
XD
Leo
He paused with his hand on the elevator button and looked back at Rory.
“Be a bit hard to thrash fear out with more fear, don’t you think?” He watched the kid’s eyes narrow a bit in thought, then continued half to himself. “No, they wanted you to be more afraid of them than anything else, not make you unafraid. Only…[Read more]
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Ruth replied to the topic Art Sharing For All 🙂 in the forum Art 1 year, 2 months ago
@loopylin @ellette-giselle @keilah-h @highscribeofaetherium @the _lost-journal
thx.
@potato-reporter
Wait you made your pfp?! It is soooo cute and creative!!!! <3
thx
Credit for the idea of ice cream goes to @raxforge I originally found a reference picture of just four chibi heads on top of each other, and Andrew was talking about cherries so I…[Read more]
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Liberty replied to the topic The Flames of Hope Saga Book 3: Land of Shadows in the forum Novel Critique Requests 1 year, 2 months ago
Actually, that scene with Leon was inspired by a true account I read! Wonder if it’s the same one?
Well, the one that touched me was in a movie. Maybe you’ve heard of it? “The War to End all Wars”? It’s a WW2 film.
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Linus Smallprint replied to the topic The Flames of Hope Saga Book 3: Land of Shadows in the forum Novel Critique Requests 1 year, 2 months ago
Lololol. We must remember that I wrote that when I was much younger and wasn’t fully sure where I stood… 😂
Ah, yes.
The fire thing was actually one of my favorite memories!! I want to write a book about it sometime. (I’d like to write about the whole experience of having church during COVID. There were so many cool things that h…
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Linus Smallprint replied to the topic The Flames of Hope Saga Book 3: Land of Shadows in the forum Novel Critique Requests 1 year, 2 months ago
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Linus Smallprint replied to the topic The Flames of Hope Saga Book 3: Land of Shadows in the forum Novel Critique Requests 1 year, 2 months ago
ack. I felt like there was something off about what he was saying, but I was looking for grammar and spelling over content. 😂
Okay, good. I know you are a Calvinist as well, so I was confused why you had that in.
Then I chose this. So, all that to say…. does it work? Or was a lie the only way he could have done it? (I know you s…
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Koshka replied to the topic Fantasy/Modern School AU RP in the forum General Writing Discussions 1 year, 2 months ago
I was thinking up the elevator to the top floor and a empty office (possibly with a frustrated teacher who was trying to prepare their next lesson and got dropped on the head)?
Leo
“Knighted?” His eyebrows furrowed together. “It’s an archaic practice of dedicating elite soldiers called knights. A thousand years ago boys would…[Read more]
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Linus Smallprint replied to the topic The Flames of Hope Saga Book 3: Land of Shadows in the forum Novel Critique Requests 1 year, 2 months ago
Okay, I’m back now!
So, keilah likes the scene that you have a problem with, linus! This is great. 🤣
Here’s an idea. What if I shift it a little so that the conversation happened a day or two after they had already been on the ship? Do you think that would work?
That would definitely work better, giving Julian some time to c…[Read more]
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Liberty replied to the topic The Flames of Hope Saga Book 3: Land of Shadows in the forum Novel Critique Requests 1 year, 2 months ago
“Lord, all that’s down there is trouble. Nothing good happens out here after dark. I’m going home.”
*grin* Yup. That never works for an excuse!
Go now, and sin no more,
Perfect!
The whip tore into his back again and Leon felt himself jerk with the force of the blow. Oh God, forgive them!
Oh. WOW. I love this scene! Not because…[Read more]
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Koshka replied to the topic Fantasy/Modern School AU RP in the forum General Writing Discussions 1 year, 2 months ago
Probably. XD
Leo
“Sir Leo?” A grin twitched at his mouth. “Don’t think I’ve been knighted yet–and not likely ever to be–, and I’m definitely not a senior officer.” he laughed, amused despite Rory’s too serious expression.
“I’d be glad to have you with me. Let’s go argue with an ancient AC unit.”
He led the way out the door,…[Read more]
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Elishavet Elroi replied to the topic Fantasy/Modern School AU RP in the forum General Writing Discussions 1 year, 2 months ago
Lol!
*Viktor sees it*
What? I don’t… Oh. Oh! That’s funny. *Laughs so hard it sounds like a duck*
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Koshka replied to the topic Fantasy/Modern School AU RP in the forum General Writing Discussions 1 year, 2 months ago
(Almost started this RP with my Russian keyboard on. Definitely not what I expected to be typing. XD)
Leo
The last screw dropped into the bucket. Leo looked up from his tinkering with the radios at the sudden stop of the steady plink, tink sounds.
“All done? Great job. We just got a work order for an AC unit. Sounds like it’s…[Read more]
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hybridlore replied to the topic The Flames of Hope Saga Book 3: Land of Shadows in the forum Novel Critique Requests 1 year, 2 months ago
Yeah, that makes sense. I’ve read the Ilyon Chronicles, which kind of has a similar vibe to your story’s time period and world, and one of the side characters (Christian) married a former prostitute after she became a believer. So, maybe it kind of reminded me of that, I don’t know.
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Keilah H. replied to the topic The Flames of Hope Saga Book 3: Land of Shadows in the forum Novel Critique Requests 1 year, 2 months ago
@ellette-giselle exactly what I thought too tbh
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Keilah H. replied to the topic The Flames of Hope Saga Book 3: Land of Shadows in the forum Novel Critique Requests 1 year, 2 months ago
@hybridlore @ellette-giselle honestly I didn’t see her as a love interest for him. It just didn’t make sense to me. So yeah, having a bunch of scenes of them interacting and then saying “they’re not meant to be a thing” would be weird.
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