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TheShadow replied to the topic The Woods of Rosen in the forum Novel Critique Requests 1 year, 3 months ago
@keilah-h @hybridlore @ellette-giselle @the_lost-journal @liberty @whalekeeper @linus-smallprint
Oof, it’s been two weeks. Well, here’s the third chapter, please tell me what you think once you’re done reading it. This is a shorter chapter, so I’ll probably post the fourth tomorrow.
Chapter 3
“That’s lovely.” Elina sat down, an uncom…[Read more]
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Keilah H. replied to the topic The Flames of Hope Saga Book 3: Land of Shadows in the forum Novel Critique Requests 1 year, 3 months ago
@ellette-giselle Weirdly enough, I actually kinda liked Julian’s POV. It was interesting to see someone who was technically monotheistic, but it wasn’t the true God, and how Julian reacted to that. I feel like even if you chuck the story for now, you should save the concept for either later in the book or a different one.
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Linus Smallprint replied to the topic The Flames of Hope Saga Book 3: Land of Shadows in the forum Novel Critique Requests 1 year, 3 months ago
Understandable.
I have also just considered making up a world with my friends and doing our own fantasy RPG in it.
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Linus Smallprint replied to the topic The Flames of Hope Saga Book 3: Land of Shadows in the forum Novel Critique Requests 1 year, 3 months ago
btw, do you like RP type games?
I’ve kind of wanted to get into D&D, but with a group of Christians so that we can do a campaign without anything the anyone feels uncomfortable with. My friends has tried to start a Star Wars one a fet times, but that had never worked out.
That War Story: Occupied France sounds kind of neat, but I…[Read more]
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Linus Smallprint replied to the topic TNPT: The Sword – Outlining in the forum Novel Idea Critiques 1 year, 3 months ago
@theducktator @ellette-giselle
Okay. Thank you both. I might wait to see what @whalekeeper thinks, but your responses are helpful. I could add a moment of clarity where he realizes what he is doing when he is too close to the village and gets caught up in the fight, even if he plans to escape.
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Linus Smallprint replied to the topic TNPT: The Sword – Outlining in the forum Novel Idea Critiques 1 year, 3 months ago
That makes sense. However again, different people would react differently.
But what about when he wakes up?
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Andrew replied to the topic Fantasy/Modern School AU RP in the forum General Writing Discussions 1 year, 3 months ago
I love Mateo 😂😅
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Linus Smallprint replied to the topic The Flames of Hope Saga Book 3: Land of Shadows in the forum Novel Critique Requests 1 year, 3 months ago
This could be interesting to try…. but I’m not sure Julian and Leon feel like that sort of person…….. do either of them feel that way to you?
I guess both of them do seem to be confident individuals. Julian is certainly a blame others type, considering his reaction to Adrian’s death. Leon, I’m not so sure about it.
I’m just re…[Read more]
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Linus Smallprint replied to the topic The Flames of Hope Saga Book 3: Land of Shadows in the forum Novel Critique Requests 1 year, 3 months ago
Is it bad that it was reversed?
I wounldn’t say so. It just makes this scene feel more like a moment where Joseph/Arron is struggling then Noah/David encourages or seems stronger.
Hmm…. I might possibly chuck that section altogether………..
Up to you.
Well….. I think that might be because that tends to be what happens to me when I’m…
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Linus Smallprint replied to the topic TNPT: The Sword – Outlining in the forum Novel Idea Critiques 1 year, 3 months ago
What if he stops for the night? (Which he will need to do. Nearland can be reached in a day on horseback from Dehn Prisson, but someone walking would have to take a break.) Do you think it would cross his mind then?
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Linus Smallprint replied to the topic TNPT: The Sword – Outlining in the forum Novel Idea Critiques 1 year, 3 months ago
@ellette-giselle @theducktator @whalekeeper
Okay, another question for all of you. I’m wondering if Alan would even return to the abandoned village. After he escapes the prison, he starts heading there since he has nowhere else to go in the moment, but then it occurs to him that the Wizards will probably look for him there. His friends are in…[Read more]
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Linus Smallprint replied to the topic The Flames of Hope Saga Book 3: Land of Shadows in the forum Novel Critique Requests 1 year, 3 months ago
Well that is exactly how you should picture him! Bravo! 👏🏻
Wow. That’s like… a first for me.
I thought about having a POV for him….. but that will start fracturing into lots of POVs and the question will be, “Why Rolf over Aelic and Roland?” and then I’ll have five POVs going.
Yup. Well, no need to go into Rolf’s head.…
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Linus Smallprint replied to the topic TNPT: The Sword – Outlining in the forum Novel Idea Critiques 1 year, 3 months ago
@ellette-giselle @theducktator @whalekeeper
All right. Thank you for your thoughts. I might try the first draft with the henchmen, and if I don’t like them, I can pull them out later.
Acctually, the sarcastic henchmen who always wonder how they ended up with their job are some of the henchmen I like, but I don’t think that fits TNPT, so I’ll see…[Read more]
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Linus Smallprint replied to the topic The Flames of Hope Saga Book 3: Land of Shadows in the forum Novel Critique Requests 1 year, 3 months ago
Leon’s prayer at the beginning was what I was expecting to be going through Rolf’s head instead, then Leon being the one who encourages as he has gone through so much more. I was supprised when it was reversed!
I’m not convinced by Julian telling Dian the gospel in that moment. Both before and after, he is caught in grief over…[Read more]
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hybridlore replied to the topic The Color of Hope in the forum Novel Critique Requests 1 year, 3 months ago
That’s insane, but yeah, at least the class all knew it was wrong. Thanks for the inspiration!
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Linus Smallprint replied to the topic The Flames of Hope Saga Book 3: Land of Shadows in the forum Novel Critique Requests 1 year, 3 months ago
I feel like I’ve heard that song before, but I can’t tell if I actually have or if it is just similar to another song I’ve heard before. I can see why you waited to post this until after Rolf and Leon were captured. It fits much more now that that happened.
I remember reading the book in the first meme you posted. It’s called All…[Read more]
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Linus Smallprint replied to the topic The Color of Hope in the forum Novel Critique Requests 1 year, 3 months ago
Wow, that’s messed up. At least you all had the support of your class.
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Linus Smallprint replied to the topic Art Sharing For All 🙂 in the forum Art 1 year, 3 months ago
@ellette-giselle @whalekeeper @stephie
Thank you!
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Liberty replied to the topic The Flames of Hope Saga Book 3: Land of Shadows in the forum Novel Critique Requests 1 year, 3 months ago
Yes! That song really goes up and down. Have you learned “Not Alone”? (the most epic Christian girl song ever…)
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Liberty replied to the topic The Flames of Hope Saga Book 3: Land of Shadows in the forum Novel Critique Requests 1 year, 3 months ago
By the way, my family loves the new Aladdin film! It’s way better than the cartoon one. And yes. I LOVE that Speechless song! Even my brother does!
I love the story of the Genie and…well…I won’t give it away. There’s just one weird part in one of the songs…but other than that…we LOVE it!!!
The same composer who wro…[Read more]
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