@ellette-giselle
Active 9 hours, 44 minutes ago- Rank: Eccentric Mentor
- Total Posts: 1792
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RAE replied to the topic Character Castle! in the forum General Writing Discussions 20 hours, 36 minutes ago
Aw, Barnes is trying to be the comforting grandmother to everyone!
@theshadow @whaley
Tenz&Reid
Tenz peeked out from where he hid his face, studying the pictures. Slowly, he unfolded himself, tenderly reaching out to grasp the packet. He studied the pictures much longer this time, looking up every once in a while with his blue…[Read more]
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Linus Smallprint replied to the topic The Narrow Path Trilogy Book I: The Cost in the forum Novel Critique Requests 1 day, 7 hours ago
I may be TOTALLY off on this, but i feel like you yourself have not gotten into Eric an tried being him. If that makes sense.
This is kind of a funny and ironic thing to say. Of all my characters, I was not expecting you to say this about Eric. Confession time. Most of my characters are me in some way. Alan is my worries, guilt,…[Read more]
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Linus Smallprint replied to the topic The Veil of Night– second book in The Flames of Hope Saga in the forum Novel Critique Requests 1 day, 7 hours ago
A teenage elder does seem wrong. Looking at the qualifications for an Elder in 1 Timothy 3:1-7 and Titus 1:6-9, they don’t explicitly state any age, and I can see you’ve been setting up Joseph to meet the requirements listed here, but they do seem to require someone who is mature. I don’t think it would be right to trust a…[Read more]
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hybridlore replied to the topic The Veil of Night– second book in The Flames of Hope Saga in the forum Novel Critique Requests 1 day, 9 hours ago
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hybridlore replied to the topic The Veil of Night– second book in The Flames of Hope Saga in the forum Novel Critique Requests 1 day, 10 hours ago
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hybridlore replied to the topic The Veil of Night– second book in The Flames of Hope Saga in the forum Novel Critique Requests 1 day, 10 hours ago
I think so. Are you sure he couldn’t be a church leader at seventeenish, if he’s one of the only believers in that town?
If that’s what you’re leaning towards, then go for it. Maybe pray about it and think a little longer if it’s a hugeee chance, though.
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hybridlore replied to the topic The Veil of Night– second book in The Flames of Hope Saga in the forum Novel Critique Requests 1 day, 10 hours ago
Why does he have to become an elder? I think (if I’m understanding this right) if the important things are happening while he is seventeen, that’s where you want to be. Maybe he can be a part of the inner core group of the church without being an elder, sort of getting mentored by everyone else.
However, you’re right. If all t…[Read more]
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Linus Smallprint replied to the topic The Narrow Path Trilogy Book I: The Cost in the forum Novel Critique Requests 1 day, 10 hours ago
Ah, okay.
In that case, I don’t want to dig into it too much at the moment, since his character is going nowhere else in book 1, but I definitely am planning to deal with this in book 2. Maybe I will see if I can add a sense of shame into the end of that last chapter, but that will be it.
Where exactly are you hoping Eric’s…[Read more]
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Linus Smallprint replied to the topic The Veil of Night– second book in The Flames of Hope Saga in the forum Novel Critique Requests 1 day, 10 hours ago
Yup. Sure did. My dad was stationed in Italy, and there you travel by REAL trains. With several carriages and an engine. We used to spend our vacations in Edelweiss Germany up in the alps. I’ve also been to Austria, Rome, Greece, and Switzerland. I wish I could do it again now that I’m older and can appreciate it. Although, liv…
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Linus Smallprint replied to the topic The Narrow Path Trilogy Book I: The Cost in the forum Novel Critique Requests 1 day, 10 hours ago
Ugh. It deleted my reply.
Try
Ctrl A
thenCtrl C
before you post your reply to save it to your clipboard in case it decides not to work. Then you don’t have to retype anything. (Make sure you are on the ‘Text’ tab of the text editor.)I feel like you kinda brushed over the shame thing with Eric, and I’m hoping that’s because he’…
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hybridlore replied to the topic The Veil of Night– second book in The Flames of Hope Saga in the forum Novel Critique Requests 1 day, 12 hours ago
Probably. 🤔
Ehh, fine, you can take the rest of them. Just don’t do anything to Sabina or Joseph or Julian. 🤪
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hybridlore replied to the topic The Veil of Night– second book in The Flames of Hope Saga in the forum Novel Critique Requests 1 day, 13 hours ago
Remember?!? I STOLE Joseph. So you can’t kill him!!!!!
I will let you borrow him to finish writing/editing your book if you say you will be NICE to him. Otherwise, he’s my character now.
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hybridlore replied to the topic The Chat Chat in the forum General Writing Discussions 2 days, 2 hours ago
@keilah-h The shading looks awesome! Did you draw that?
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Linus Smallprint replied to the topic The Veil of Night– second book in The Flames of Hope Saga in the forum Novel Critique Requests 2 days, 6 hours ago
*gasp*!!!! You stole my book!!!!!!!! How dare you!!!
I dare. And I’ll do it to this one too! Ha ha!!! (Also, you are at 8 exclamation marks now. I think I have good grounds to be concerned.)
Oh my goodness! Did you just say “taking the train to school”!!!! THAT IS AWESOME!!! I used to take trains a lot when I lived in Europe, but…
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Linus Smallprint replied to the topic The Narrow Path Trilogy Book I: The Cost in the forum Novel Critique Requests 2 days, 6 hours ago
@ellette-giselle @stephie @keilah-h @theducktator @loopylin @theshadow
Next chapter. This was getting a little long and I realized I didn’t have too much planned for chapter the 26th, so I decided to move the climax of the rescue into the next chapter. I should hopefully get that to you by the end of this week.
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hybridlore replied to the topic The Veil of Night– second book in The Flames of Hope Saga in the forum Novel Critique Requests 2 days, 7 hours ago
Lol, I stand corrected. 🤣
But, umm…
then. I mean, Joseph doesn’t last THAT long. (whoops. cat’s out of the bag and running wild. hehehehe)
What does this mean exactly?? 🤨
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Linus Smallprint replied to the topic The Veil of Night– second book in The Flames of Hope Saga in the forum Novel Critique Requests 2 days, 8 hours ago
Listened to the song. I hadn’t heard of this before. The song does fit well.
Yes, it is a time jump!!!! If it’s too jolting, I may split the sections into parts. I’ll see what Linus says.
You could do different parts. Right now, the first part kind of feels like a separate story to what you are getting into now, but you may end…[Read more]
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Linus Smallprint replied to the topic The Veil of Night– second book in The Flames of Hope Saga in the forum Novel Critique Requests 2 days, 8 hours ago
I had no idea what that picture was from. i just saw the meme the other day and thought of it. It was perfect.
Ah, okay. It’s from a show that people had been recommending to me for a while, and I have finally had a chance to start watching it. The meme fits with the personality of the older character in it well.
Let’s just say, a…
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Linus Smallprint replied to the topic The magic Potato knows best in the forum Art 2 days, 9 hours ago
Fun! I was slightly confused with the first section at the end because I did not realize that the portal appeared because of the Storyteller’s writing.
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Linus Smallprint replied to the topic The Narrow Path Trilogy Book I: The Cost in the forum Novel Critique Requests 2 days, 9 hours ago
I just decided to read that chapter completely out of order. I’ve only read up to chapter 5 besides this, I think, and that was a while ago. XD I can give some feedback about this chapter, as someone who read it without any context whatsoever.
You know that reading books like this is the number one cause of cancer in domesticated fr…[Read more]
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