Jaybird

@savannah_grace2009

What is the plot of my story!!? Oh girl you can’t make me do that. I HATE spoilers. I can’t stand that. *sob* *sob*

I mean….. I guess I could try a little…… OK…. let’s see.

I guess, well…. Ah, I’m no good at this! OK, I guess it started when I overheard a conversation from a group of young men saying Christianity…[Read more]

@savannah_grace2009

Oooo, this is getting good. I’m not sure if there’s a lot of critique I can give, because again, it’s just getting itself off the ground, and it seems really smooth. (way smoother then my first chapter! I think you’re in your element writing fantasy!)

Of course, I would love to know more about these characters, what time…[Read more]

Oooo, this is getting good. I’m not sure if there’s a lot of critique I can give, because again, it’s just getting itself off the ground, and it seems really smooth. (way smoother then my first chapter! I think you’re in your element writing fantasy!)

Of course, I would love to know more about these characters, what time period they live in, (or…[Read more]

@rae

So I’m guessing Tenz looks like a normal-ish human. I mean, same form?

@linus-smallprin

Thanks so much for the heads up! I’ll take a look! That sounds like fun!

@savannah_grace2009

Do you have any more besides the prologue written? I would love to read more and give some feedback?

@savannah_grace2009

Oh no worries!!! Whenever you get the chance!

and here’s Chapter 5.

I hope I’m not swamping Y’all!

 
Chapter 5
“In the beginning, Marcus, there was nothing,” began Caius. “God, created the heavens and the earth, and all that lies in between. Then, he fashioned the first man and breathed the breath of life into him. For the man, he made a helper; the first woman. Together they lived in a bea…[Read more]

@savannah_grace2009

Thanks for the encouragement. I still feel like running back to the safety of fiction, but I am determined to stick this one out.

Can’t wait to hear your thoughts on Chapter 4.

I almost have chapter five done too. I’m starting to slide into my writing roll. lol.

@savannah_grace2009

I think it has a really good start! I just can’t wait to see where it’s going.

Yeah, maybe take Puddleglum *clears throat* I mean, that other writing coach, with a grain of salt. Scratch that, maybe a pillar of salt. lol. However, I will say that there is something to be learned from everyone. So, try to see the gold in the…[Read more]

@savannah_grace2009

For some reason your comment didn’t load until just now! (I love bad internet. lol) Anyways, thank you so much for the feedback!!

Good, I’m glad I was able to incorporate some of your suggestions in that one!

Oh I love what you did in the example. Perfect. I get so caught up in making sure the info that is needed is there,…[Read more]

Aaaaand here’s chapter 4!!

 
Chapter 4
Julius paced back and forth near the window overlooking the street. Where is he? Why did he leave like that? What has gotten into him? “Curse that wretched Lucius!”

Julius slammed his fist against his palm several times. He spun on his heal and stalked down into the dining room. The slave girl who had giv…[Read more]

@savannah_grace2009

Oh man! I must say creepy!

Goodness, it sure is good though. I really don’t like the decision the parents made. I mean, there’s just no excuse.

I’m excited to find out what happens to the child, though I have some educated guesses. Is this all you have written so far?

I did notice that you changed the wife’s name before…[Read more]

Oh man! I must say creepy!

Goodness, it sure is good though. I really don’t like the decision the parents made. I mean, there’s just no excuse.

I’m excited to find out what happens to the child, though I have some educated guesses. Is this all you have written so far?

I did notice that you changed the wife’s name before they joined the “Master”…[Read more]

OK, I have Chapter 3 ready to send. See if I broke up the dialogue in this one a bit better.

I don’t know if I love this chapter yet, so I’m open to thoughts. Now that I have y’all, I’m starting to really take a critical look at this book WHILE I’m writing it instead of after. It’s helpful to make changes now rather then at the end.

 
Chapter…[Read more]

@trailblazer

Yay! I’m glad the second chapter was smoother.

Ah, I’ll keep that in mind. I was trying to portray that Ignatius just thought that Marcus was a scholar and was inquisitive. I guess I need to make that a little clearer. Thanks!

@savannah_grace2009

That’s an idea! I felt like the dialogue was a little tiresome near the end, but it…[Read more]

@savannah_grace2009

Ooh yay!! This is already sounding awesome! I’m so excited!!

@mineralizedwritings

I’ll be praying💖

(and when you can, pls check your insta; I’m about to send you a DM)

@freed_and_redeemed

I can’t wait. We could write a book together and make everyone else hate us because we leave them in tears all the time. lol.