Beth

@savannah_grace2009 FYI, I’m planning my own plot rn, and as I’ll not be able to give good critism, I shall not give any critism, but it sounds okay.

Gunslinger

“Gunslinger’s the name, gunslingin’ is the game.” Gunslinger tipped his hat brim with his metal index and thumb finger.

@jonas

I think Freedom’s adding a few more charries to the castle.

I’m gonna get an epic Jonas eyeroll for this one hehehe…

@highscribeofaetherium XD

@jonas

That’s cuz your a guy. If I think about my sad charries, if I dig deep into their hearts, I can tear up almost instantly. Meanwhile my brother, he only tears up… Come to think of it, last time I saw him tear up, he either had irritated eyes or he got bit by a snake…I’m sure there’s been some other time since he got bit,( he was like, 7…[Read more]

@savannah_grace2009

Oh, wow XD I didn’t even realize it had been so long since this was posted. Sorry, I don’t know why I didn’t see it before, I know you didn’t tag me but I check the recent topics fairly often. I totally get that, but I think in future editing it might make more sense to cut the opening chapters. But it’s totally up to you…[Read more]

@jonas

Sorry, Dalton has been taken by the protection squad, where he will be supplied with copious amounts of tea and therapy.

@hybridlore

I feel like the ending is very abrupt, almost. I know it’s meant to be a cliffhanger but it sort of feels like you cut the ending off. Then again, some books are like this so as long as there’s a second book I don’t think it’s a big problem.

I agree, the ending is abrupt, but I’m not sure how to make it any less so. It just kinda m…[Read more]

@jonas @whalekeeper @thearcaneaxiom @highscribeofaetherium @grcr @rae

@savannah_grace2009

Great job on the outline! I know it’s hard XD I’ve tried to outline my stories before, but tbh I never really got a complete outline.

I feel like the ending is very abrupt, almost. I know it’s meant to be a cliffhanger but it sort of feels like you cut the ending off. Then again, some books are like this so as long as there’s…[Read more]

@jonas

The reason his Heritage (that is what a Realn sir name is called) is spelled that way is because it was the name chosen by the first Nayhelm, who took on that name to symbolize him dropping his old life (his story is a salvation story… One that sometimes makes me cry).

Though almost everyone pronounces it wrong when they see it spelled 🙄

@jonas
Nayhim Alfred Nayhelm
Hmm… I like my decision too, especially for Jr:
Nayhim Alfred Nayhelm Junior-Alpha Grath

@freedomwriter76

Awwwww, Riker smiled! And let her hold hands with him!

@jonas @savannah_grace2009

Nae

She grasped his warm hand, jittery with joy at them all going together.

“Which way are we going, and what are we looking for?”

@highscribeofaetherium

Actually, I googled Mandin, Nahim’s best friend’s name and got no results.

@jonas

Yeah, but Ruee had already made up the pronunciation of the name, and decided she didn’t like the extra “y” when she wrote it out. And her spelling happened to be the same as the Arabic one… Fun fact: Nahim’s name used to be something akin to “Larin” back when he was a young charrie in a twelve-year-olds head.

You, not out. Idk how I did that.