Faith

@loopylin @rae

Okay… he’s in the shop next to the dancing building, literally next door. Just so you girls know. Cal saw it in his POV before coming in for practice. Not that anyone knows 😅

Calvin

“Spot on.” Calvin standing nearby snapped his fingers, and strode over to join the two girls and interrogate the nervous boy. “What’s your name?…[Read more]

@rae

but I guess Sef isn’t there so… Whatever.

Oop, sorry, I assumed they started to switch partners like everyone else

@savannah_grace2009

I think so! You can go ahead and RP first if you want. 🙃

@savannah_grace2009

XD Yeah, I could see that!

@whalekeeper

I love itttt. Marcel is the best

And I don’t know why Spring sleeps on an air mattress, lol.

Here ya go!

THE SEASON SISTERS

Spring yawned, and slid off her air mattress. Her older sister Summer was fast asleep.

She looked at her alarm clock. It was 6:29. Just then, a piercing alarm broke through the silence. Summer groaned and rolled over. Spring jumped up and yanked the blind cords. Bright sunlight danced through the room. ” Time…[Read more]

@savannah_grace2009

GREAT topic XD I don’t have my very first story anymore (it’s probably in storage) but I have one that I wrote when I was… Ten, maybe eleven? That was kind of my first actual novel attempt. It only has like, two chapters. Brb, I’ll go find it to post

@fernweh_grace

Goodness XD That’s so fun. And yeah, crazy dreams like that always happen when you’ve woken up during the night and gone back to sleep again. Have you ever had a lucid dream?

@savannah_grace2009

Girl I feel you, I’m missing four adult teeth that will never grow in 😝

@jonas

Mr. Gregory 

“So, will you fight? Or do you yield?”

“False dichotomy,” Gregory grumbled.

“What was that, tyrant?”

Several students had stopped dancing and were now watching them, some curious and some nervous.

“The rules are in place so that these students can enjoy their dance as much as possible, I’m sure. You are not only breakin…[Read more]

@whalekeeper

I think you’re writing her pretty well except she probably isn’t completely calm rn. But she would be pretending to be Babs’ sake, so nvm, it’s good.

Felicity

“Like… angsty depressed teens? Or people who pretend they aren’t depressed, but then you look at them and you can clearly see that they… Ohhh wait, I think I see one.”…[Read more]

@rae

The writing you shared was a little depressing, but the characters weren’t melodramatic at least. I don’t pay much attention to punctuation as a writing problem. The art of melodrama is at an all time high here though. Like “He grabbed Nejin by the collar of his shirt, his eyes radiating hate, and rage.” After Nejin, a little boy he never…[Read more]

Oh, and this garbage:

“Shele” he said, turning around, immediately bumping into a tall, yet frail man.

 

He grabbed Nejin by the collar of his shirt, his eyes radiating hate, and rage.

Adrenaline rushed through Nejin’s system, but it gave no resolve to run or fight. Guards charged in, clearing the area, tackling the Man to the ground, losin…

[Read more]

@savannah_grace2009

This is some of my writing I want to burn, bury the remnants in a dark cave, then collapse the cave to never see the light of day again, but here it is for you to enjoy…

“Mailes?… Do you think me a good Jan?” Laijas asked. Surprise stunned Mailes, what kind of question was that? It didn’t sound like something Laijas would…

[Read more]

@loopylin

Again, please tell me if I’m writing your character wrong, or you want something to play out differently.

Babs

Babs wiped at her eyes. “Okay…”

They decided to do a sweep around the room, one girl starting by the exits, the other by the entrance. But Babs knew dolefully, as she trudged off to her side, that she would have seen the Gua…[Read more]

@whalekeeper

Felicity

“Hey, wait, hold on.” Felicity held both of Babs hands in hers and looked her in the eye. “Whatever’s happening, it’s not one bit your fault. Marcel’s not a child.” She quickly scanned the room, trying to spot Calvin or Lois. “Would looking for him help you feel better?”

@kyronthearcanin

Okay, I’ll think about it! No problem, thank you!

@hybridlore

Yeah, that totally makes sense! And you’re welcome, I really enjoyed reading it!!

For buildup, I’m not quite sure. Maybe Mason has a big decision to make, and something about the king helps him make that decision? Or maybe to keep it more line with what you have so far, something big rests on the identity of the king?? I’d have to…[Read more]

@kyronthearcanin

So, yep! Mostly just because of the curfew. I guess I was trying to show how the villagers were impacted by it, if that makes sense.
That’s true, I might use that word a lot XD. I’ll have to reread it and see where I can change words around to fix that. Thanks for pointing that out!
Yeah, I get that. I’m not really sure how the…[Read more]