@adry_grace
Active 5 years, 10 months ago- Rank: Loyal Sidekick
- Total Posts: 169
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@ethryndal it’s because all great minds think a like.
I…. I think I love this too much. So you’re wanting to change it from flash fiction to short story… okay. Here are my thoughts on how I would go about it.
I’m crazy. I know that
I think your beginning is fantastic, it really pulled my in. So uness you come up with something better I’d say leave it.
I stare at his eyes. There’s something in them, something that sparkles. Something that looks like Wonderland.
At the same time though, I like your ending. As someone who, in her own way, is looking for Wonderland, it gave me a little thrill. (If that makes sense)
So my solution? The middle. Obviously, you’d want it to end with her little hitchhiking scene, but something had to lead up to her being on the side of the road. Maybe she told her family a story about Wonderland and they thought she was insane. Locked her up in her room, and she escaped through the window in the dead of night, with the man on the moon watching over her adventure and the stars whispering “hurry.” Something like that.
Or maybe, she left her family months ago, and has been on her own looking for Wonderland everywhere she could think. In a cave in the mountainside, in the middle of the fountain in some busy city, in the locked stall of a bathroom gas station if she was feeling particularly desperate (I can’t see that one ending well)
So there’s my two cents. (Or maybe it’s only a penny cause you asked me for my thoughts?) Anyway, I want to read it when you’re done. Please.@lola-jane as much as i love sharks, i am not a brave person. i would not swim with them without a cage.
Haha, I’m sorry for asking such unfair questions. I suppose it’s only right you got to list more than one. I love love love love love Narnia as well. I’ve never read this Wingfeather series, though it comes up on this website A LOT.*bursts through the door fangirling in all of my glory* DID SOMEONE SAY PERCY JACKSON? @emma-flournoy you really should read them.
oh… oh! Welcome @Lady_Erin to the bestiest place on the internet. I play the guitar as well, it really is a lovely instrument. I’m interested what other fandom you are in. Perhaps we share some.
btw, i can really relate to the fact that you listed reading as something you enjoy not just once but twice.@lola-jane Welcome new friend!
Well, actually I prefer sharks, but you know. Memes.
Reading and writing, you say? Do you have a favorite genre to read and write? Or two if they’re different? Do you have a favorite book?
@stewie-plotter @elly if we are going to have this debate, may I insert my opinion that Mary Poppins trumps both of these in the fact that she is “practically perfect in every way” and it’s always a “jolly holiday with Mary.” Seeing as the Roman empire fell, and Mary Poppins reign has yet to end, and that any time Greeks or Romans were involved, it was almost certain to be the opposite of a “jolly holiday.” Furthermore, Mary Poppins has magic and a good singing voice.
@elly Welcome to Kingdom Pen!! I am also quite fond of Plato. In fact, I just finished reading his work Meno for a school project. You said you like philosophy? Who is your favorite philosopher, if you have one.
CS Lewis is da bomb.
@lola-jane YAY!! congrats!
@Daeus WOOHOO! Congrats on the marvelous accomplishment. At the risk of repeating everyone else on the forum, what is this book about?
@dragon-snapper you know, I can’t say that I’ve ever done that one.
You know you’re a writer when you have to sleep on the couch and as you’re laying there staring at the ceiling you think, “I am going to get no sleep tonight either way. Might as well work on my story.”
You know you’re a writer when you think plot twists are a gift and something nice to do for readers.
whoops. @graciegirl
@everyone i can’t believe i missed this topic.
I sing so much. My entire family hates it.
@kate-flournoy Technically, I have no professional training. I have this yearly choir I’m a part of, but that last 5 weeks and I’m in a group of 100+ people. BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUt I did figure out I was a soprano through that so that counts.I sing nonstop. Anything. Everything. Hymns. Shawn Mendes. The Little Mermaid. Lately, I’ve been really obsessed with broadway and I like to perform
Watch What Happens (Reprise) fromall of Newsies Broadway single-handedly. My brother loves it. Does anyone else on here like Broadway? Even a little?@gracie-girl Singing frozen for my siblings is my favorite. When I want to be particularly annoying, I sing the entire soundtrack in order with a little (a lot) of dramatization.
@daeus Hahaha yes. Somehow I manage to actually be active in my Wattpad account. It’s almost become a habit. Like you know how most people get on their phone and automatically check Facebook? I do that with Wattpad. It’s actually a problem.
I….
I have read a lot of thing on Kingdom Pen. But this- THIS- wins as my favorite. By far. You win. Everything. *applauds*
@daeus I intended to share this on Facebook but being the scatter brain that I am I forgot so I will do that as soon as I finish posting this comment. Also, I have a Wattpad account with a small but sizable following that I could share this with. That wouldn’t get many but at least a few. That’s all I can think of for now, but I certainly intend to share this as much as I can.
