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@catwing I know… I need to stop by more often.
I’m beta-reading SeekJustice’s book. How ’bout you?
You ever going to update your blog? I enjoy reading it! 😀
You can pronounce it however you want.
@dekreel @catwing
Hey. Really sorry but I have to leave now. 🙁
@catwing @valtmy @seekjustice Hey, I’m back!
@dekreel Hi!!! How are you doing?? You’re actually here!! 😀 😀 😀 (I’m going to keep being overly excited every time you show up until you make it a frequent occurrence. 😉 )"Sylvester - Sylvester!"
Hey. Not sure when you’ll be back but I’ll put my answer to your first question here before I go:
1. You found out Yishay very quickly. Would it be more interesting if it were not so obvious, or is it fine as it is? If I had him just go to his house and wait for Bathshua would that make it harder to figure out? But that seems quite out of character for an older brother who loves his sister as much as Yishay loves Bathshua.
It really depends on what you are planning to do with this plot point. If you want to make use of dramatic irony to add a layer of tension whenever Bathshua interacts with her brother for the readers, it’s fine if it’s obvious. Of course the risk is that your readers might soon get frustrated that Bathshua is taking such a long time to figure out what is clear to them and they might start to think that she’s stupid. And when Yishay’s secret is uncovered and if you try to play it as this big, dramatic revelation that causes great agony to Bathshua and her mother… I think as a reader I would just find it hilarious instead since it could be seen from a mile away.
On the other hand, if you intend for it to remain as a mystery and something that really pulls the rug from under Bathshua and her mother, then I think it’s better if it’s not that obvious. Just a few suggestions off the top of my head that might make the foreshadowing more subtle:
#1: Like you suggested, have Yishay arrive home before Bathshua and have him pretend to have been busy with something during the time when she was accosted (somehow getting their mother to think that he was busy as well to act as an alibi would help too).
#2: Give a “red herring” aka a plausible explanation for Yishay’s absences from home (e.g. meeting a secret lover).
#3: Give a plausible explanation for why the highwaymen let Bathshua go without incident (this is the really, really obvious hint) Maybe instead of just leaving, the other robbers take her money and since this is all they were really after, Yishay convinces them not to harm her further.
Of course I don’t know how well these suggestions will work since I not know your characters or your upcoming plot as much as you.
But hey it seems like your MC has one advantage over mine so far. 😛 Your MC has an older brother that loves her. As for the older brother of my MC… 😅
@valtmy That’s all right. Good night!
@rochellaine Hello! Yeah, yeah, I miss you, too. 😉How are you doing? Sorry I disappeared last time. I sorta drifted off.
You can pronounce it however you want.
@dekreel You should. 😉
I’m not beta-reading @seekjustice book. I am waiting for her to send it out. Waiting. 🙂 (But I’m working my book some. ;P )
I got distracted and decided to take a summer break. I can’t remember if it was the short story contest at my library or the 4th of July parade that distracted me… Also I’m thinking about getting some other social media accounts that would be author accounts or something. And maybe updating things on my blog (I think I may change the theme because I really want a sidebar. But there’s a theme that isn’t too different. Do you have any ideas of pages I should have? And widgets/gadgets?). So figuring out that stuff out. Do you have a blog?
Really? Thank you. I enjoyed posting about random things. I’m planning on bringing it back next week actually (because it’s August and school is starting up… my LAST year of school. 0.o Whoa…). It will probably be a catch up post on the summer.
@valtmy that’s okay. Good day. ;P
@rochellaine Hi! Bye!
@seekjustice Good night if you are still here.IMMA KAPEEFER! Til we're old and gray!
@catwing Fair enough. Umm… No suggestions off the top of my head. 🙂
I don’t have a blog. I DESPERATELY want one though.
You can pronounce it however you want.
@dekreel 😀
Sorry if I take a while to reply sometimes. I am currently typing with only one hand because of poison ivy.
Working on anything tonight?
"Sylvester - Sylvester!"
@rochellaine Ooooh, poison ivy. What’s that like? I’ve never had it before.
I’m beta-reading Chelsea’s book. What are you up to?
Oh yeah, you said a long time ago that you would give an explanation or something considering your MBTI. If you don’t want to do that with one hand, that’s fine. 🙂
You can pronounce it however you want.
@valtmy Thanks! I think I will try to make it a little less obvious. Thank you so much for all the ideas and comments! They’re very helpful.
Haha. 😛 I love a good brother and sister relationship, so I’m afraid I don’t appreciate the scenes with your MC’s brother at all. 😉
"Sylvester - Sylvester!"
@dekreel Oh really? Well be thankful you never have, and stay away from it! 😛 It’s not a whole lot of fun. 😉
Ohhh!! The famous Stars Fill Infinity! The most talked-about book on this forum! The book I have written fanfiction for… 😛
Glad you’re getting a chance to read it. What part are you on?
What am I doing? I am trying to convince myself I can write a thousand words with one hand like I did two days ago… and failing. I have a small sort of writer’s block and am trying to overcome it…and failing. I am trying to stay awake because I want to talk with you and @seekjustice…and failing. 😀
Yeah, I don’t really feel like doing that right bow, because it would take forever, but remind me some other time, okay?
"Sylvester - Sylvester!"
@rochellaine Yeah, that one. XD
I just got to the part where Sapphire is trying to take Kai to the hospital with the help of Rain and another boy.
Ahhhh, the life of a writer…
Yeah, definitely.
Sooooo…. *tries to think of something to say*
You can pronounce it however you want.
@dekreel @rochellaine I’m here now, polishing up my blog post for today.
Dekreel, please don’t be offended, but my sister just called you a fox. I know you’re sensitive to be called a wolf, but how do you feel about being a fox?
I just got to the part where Sapphire is trying to take Kai to the hospital with the help of Rain and another boy.
😀 I don’t know why, but this amused me. She doesn’t know who he is yet! 😀
INFP Queen of the Kingdom commander of an army of origami cranes and a sabre from Babylon.
And I agree with Valtmy on the subject of your question. Its hard to tell whether its too obvious or not because we don’t know what the point of it is. However, it is very obvious. Its just about whether you want it to be obvious or not.
INFP Queen of the Kingdom commander of an army of origami cranes and a sabre from Babylon.
@seekjustice I mean, if your sister didn’t know I’m not a fox, then that’s fine. XD Just be sure she doesn’t KEEP calling me a fox. 😉
I’m sorry, am I supposed to know who he is? It’s hard to keep track of characters…
You can pronounce it however you want.
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