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Okay, I’m really bad at finding little clips I can take from my WIP, but here’s one I liked pretty well:
Forgiveness was something Rebere had always associated with the weak, and now he had a taste of intense longing to receive it since he had let Alaia down. He wanted to mend their relationship, assuming Alaia even recognized that he had transgressed against her.
He stepped over a log and turned left, beginning a long loop back to the other Keepers. Forgiveness. What an odd concept. When someone did something to wrong you, you sought vengeance. If they stole your goat, you took their ewe and her lamb. If they burnt their house to the ground, you reduced their home and their barn to cinders. If they killed a loved one, you avenged the loved one by killing the offender.
But he hadn’t killed his father, and his father had killed Miresia. What had kept him from avenging her death?
Rebere leaned against a tree, pondering this. He had been angry at first, but as his father’s rage grew, Rebere had been flooded with a strange calm. He had known what the right thing to do was, and he had acted on it.
The right thing to do? According to everyone he’d ever met, if someone wronged a loved one, then avenging the loved one was the right thing to do. So why hadn’t he done what everyone said was the right thing? Why had he done what he thought was right? There were many who knew more than he did.
Adanyi… The voice was deep and strong, and Rebere recognized it immediately. It was the voice that had asked for permission when Rebere touched the Werewolf. Right before the fire had leapt from his fingers and shot him away from the creature.
Burning Fire?
Aye.
Rebere was silent. He had made contact.
"Courage is found in unlikely places." -Gildor Inglorion
@joelle-stone @issawriter7 I love these both so much! They’re really good!
Lately, it's been on my brain
Would you mind letting me know
If hours don't turn into days@issawriter7 OHH that’s so GOOD!!! I looove that answer. That’s a whole message right there XD
Oh my word thank youuuu!!!!
"It's easy to be caught up in stardust and whispers when reality is so dark and loud."
- Rank: Eccentric Mentor
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@nova21 @devastate-lasting @writerlexi1216 @issawriter7 @jodi-maile @daisy-torres @abigail-m WHOA! Those are amazing, guys! Let’s see…this is an excerpt from Held Captive…it’s kind of long…
I was beginning—albeit slightly—to wonder if perhaps there was more to land than dryness. There was something about the solidity of land that countered the tossing of the ocean’s waves, that seemed to describe the consistency and reliability of the feel of something hard beneath one’s feet. One knew that nothing could toss them like a storm or shake their foundation when their feet were planted solely on the earth. And should tempest or quake come, one could always rely on land to remain steadfast, to always support.
Perhaps that was what love was like. A solid rock that would not wash away with the next wave nor drown in a storm. It could not fade over time and leave one stranded. It was not unpredictable, where one was left to wonder where they would be if a wave crashed over them and pulled them into the blue depths of the ocean. It forever remained, through trial and tragedy and storm and danger. And nothing and no one could ever take it away.
This concept was completely new to me, countering everything I had ever known. I had lived my entire life on a foundation of water and tossing waves that had no rule or way. And I was beginning to see the error in such. But it was a painful realiza-tion, diminishing every belief I had once held—or rather, hadn’t held.
The waves had always represented fate for me, always taking me places I did or did not wish to go, moving upon their own accord. And I was at the helm, trying to redirect my ship and pull against fate’s current. But now I realized that I could never escape the current, struggle though I might.
Land had no waves to drag me to and fro. It was still, although filled with so many hills and valleys that one would always be left to wonder where they were going. But land didn’t move so quickly or drag one away. It allowed one to wander through its caves and mountains and forests and plains. And no matter where one wandered, land would always be there.
Don’t get me wrong, I still loved my ocean. I would always love the challenge and the exhilaration of the waves. But I was finding that I loved the land as well. What I loved most of all, though, was not the land itself, but its fidelity.
Xavier would compare the land to his God, I knew, and His faithfulness and steadfast love. He would say how no matter what, God was always there. God had no mountains and valleys or storms and quakes. He could not erode or wash away. Eventually land would do that, I knew. But while I roamed the earth for my short life, I could rely on land to remain as it was.
I could rely on God for all eternity. He never changed. He was the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow. And His faith never faltered, His trust never faded, and His love never failed.
@joelle-stone Ohhh that sounds so intruiginggg! I love the question of forgiveness posed throughout your snippet. Fantastic job!!!
"It's easy to be caught up in stardust and whispers when reality is so dark and loud."
@gracie-j LOOK AT YOUUU!!! That snippet is FANTASTIC!!! I’m in such a reading slump right now but I need to read Held Captive XD This sounds so fantasticcc. That’s SUCH an awesome illustration <3
"It's easy to be caught up in stardust and whispers when reality is so dark and loud."
@gracie-j This is BEAUTIFUL! Wonderful job!
Lately, it's been on my brain
Would you mind letting me know
If hours don't turn into daysThank you, girl!! I’m glad you enjoyed it!!:) Yours were AMAZING!!
Aww, thanks, Issa!!! <3333 That means so much to me!!! It’s from the POV from one of my antagonists (yes, I have multiple bad guys), so I thought it’d be interesting to share. THANK YOU!! <3333 And I just ADORED what you wrote!!
Thanks, Lin! And of course, anytime!:)
Thank you!!:) I loved yours so much too!!
@nova21 @devastate-lasting @issawriter7 @daisy-torres @writerlexi1216 @jodi-maile @gracie-j @joelle-stone
Wow, those excerpts were great, ya’ll!
And thanks for tagging me, Ella. 🙂
Here’s an excerpt from one of my WIPs. It’ll get rewritten, and I had to edit it before I posted it, but here it is anyway. 😀 (Just to clarify, Ember is a dragon😉)
Ember turned her attention back to the motionless girl, lowering her head and blowing gently into her face. Creare gave a gasp, choked, and began coughing intensely. Her whole body shook with the violence of the fit as she raised herself up onto her elbows, fighting for breath. In an instant, the bout had passed, and she collapsed back onto her pillows. Her face had lost all color, and she didn’t seem to be breathing. Doctor Erbus was at her side almost instantly, feeling for her pulse, while at the same time, Nomis sprang forward with a sharp cry, brandishing his sword. Ember sprang back from the swinging blade as he charged her furiously. The doctor lunged for him, grabbing his leg and yanking him off balance. Nomis came crashing to the ground, struggling to shake off his friend.
“What are you doing?” Doctor Erbus roared.
“What do you think I’m trying to do! It killed my little girl, Erbus! It killed her!” he shouted hoarsely.
“No, it didn’t!”
There was complete silence.
“What did you say?” His voice shook audibly.
“I said it didn’t kill her. I wouldn’t never have believed it if I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes, but she’s absolutely fine! There’s no more delirium, no more shaking, nothing! There isn’t a thing wrong with her; she’s just asleep.”
Nomis threw his arms over his face and lay motionless.
@joelle-stone
If I can help you at all with your blurb, I’d be glad to! I still have to come up with one of my own actually. It’s so hard to come up with a good one, especially when you have a complicated storyline…😛@nova21 Yes, this is such a great idea!!! And wow, thank you for sharing your excerpt!!! I’m so intrigued now–I love the style you have going in this–it’s so atmospheric. I’d love to read more if you ever decide to share it!
Also is this why one of the potential titles for your WIP in the survey I took was “A Pair of Yellow Shoes”???
@devastate-lasting Wow, I love this!!! I’m definitely going to be checking out the rest of it; the vibe is excellent. 😀 Thank you so much for sharing!!
@abigail-m :O I think I actually felt my heart race a little!! This is so foreboding and mysterious, and now I’m just hoping that poor Mejia does not fall into the icy lake… 😉 Thank you for sharing!!@jodi-maille *gasp* A Macbeth retelling?? I’m sold and dying to read the rest now 😀 Also, your dialogue is *chef’s kiss* superb. What era is your short story set in? (Like, are you sticking pretty closely to the text, or reimagining it?)
@writerlexi1216 YES MORE FORTITUDE YEEE– *ahem* Okay, I loved getting a glimpse at Pirion. (A sneak peek, if you will.) I feel bad for the man–that’s a lot of pressure, and you conveyed it so nicely. *applauds*
@daisy-torres Whoa, girl, I love your blurb!! I’m already so drawn into your retelling 😀 I especially love the line, “You haven’t heard the waterfall’s screams as it cried for the souls of those lost during battle.” I just… *chills* Also, whoa, your excerpt is amazing too!! Though I have to know–is your poor character okay? I feel so bad for him already D:
@issawriter7 Girl, that’s such a beautiful description of courage!! I feel inspired just reading it 😀 Also, your characters just seem so endearing–I don’t know what it is about this excerpt, but I already really like them 😀
@joelle-stone Wow, girl, this is amazing! I love how you weaved your character’s wrestling with forgiveness into the scene–it’s so nice and organic and poignant. Him seeing forgiveness as a sign of weakness in particular is particularly nice to me. (Also hi, I don’t think we’ve met–I’m Elizabeth! And I love your tagline!!)@gracie-j Girl, now I have to read Held Captive! It’s already on my post-grad TBR list, but now I’m dying to read it all the more!! *shakes fist at school keeping me from reading my friends’ books* Thank you so much for sharing!!!
@lydia-s I’m a simple woman, with simple tastes. I see that something has dragons in it, I like it. 😉 All that to say, I loved your excerpt!! I’m a big fan the worldbuilding you have going, and would love to know more!!! (Also hi, I don’t think we’ve met– I’m Elizabeth!)“Seven seconds till the end. Time enough for you. Perhaps. But what will you do with it?”
Aww, thank you girl!!! <333 And *gasps* I LOVE yours!!! It’s just so interesting!!! And I adore dragons. What is your WIP about, if you don’t mind me asking? It sounds super amazing!
Aww, thanks, Elizabeth!!! 😀 I normally monologue about Caira, so I thought it’d be interesting to write about my antagonist for a while. And YES, I KNOW. Unfortunately, things don’t get better after he becomes king. I mean, being brainwashed by his sister and uncle (whom he believed he could trust with his life) isn’t entirely ideal. And thank you so much!! *bows* I’m so happy you liked it!! You should post some of yours, if you’d like! 😉
I know I’d love reading more about Tinumali, Horace, & the lovely Arvi😀 Only if you want, of course.Now for a bit of my own WIP, The Drakesbanes:
I heard a splashing noise and opened my eyes. Jamanuk was wading out towards me. “Now Arvi, I know you don’t remember me, but you will. The pittance inheritance your people call magic has proved invaluable to my designs. I would like my missing research back if it isn’t too much trouble.”
White-hot fear shot through my veins, and another piece clicked into place. I’d heard Horace and Lady-what’s-her-face talking about finding a “piece of research” for somebody. At the time, I’d been too busy shirking my responsibilities to pay much attention to it. Now—
Seas, I was what they were looking for.
Flashes of memories, too quick to grasp on to for more than a few seconds, raced through my mind. Pain, boiling hot and ice cold all at once, and the feeling of nothing but the layers and layers of magic wrapping every one of my senses so tightly I couldn’t even feel my own breath in my lungs, rushed back to me. And the murky outline of this man’s face, smirking above me as he strapped me to a table and started picking my mind apart.
All of it was gone in an instant, except for his name: Jamanuk.
“I’m not afraid of you,” I said.
He chuckled. “Then you are more a fool than I remembered.”
“Seven seconds till the end. Time enough for you. Perhaps. But what will you do with it?”
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