WIP Chat!

Viewing 15 posts - 721 through 735 (of 890 total)
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  • #97426
    Joelle Stone
    @joelle-stone
      • Rank: Wise Jester
      • Total Posts: 57

      Hi everybody! @kathleenramm introduced me to this page, and since I really need some help with a blurb I’m trying to concoct for my WIP, I thought I’d check it out. It sounds like a good idea!

      (Thanks for telling me about this, Kathleen!)

      "Courage is found in unlikely places." -Gildor Inglorion

      #97548
      ella
      @nova21
        • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
        • Total Posts: 604

        @joelle-stone

        Welcome Joelle!!  If you need help, I’d gladly give some!!  just let me know what you have in mind.  (No one’s really on here recently, sadly.  I’m gonna try to get it back up and running… )

        @gracie-j, @devastate-lasting, @keilah-h, @writerlexi1216, @nanisnook, @issawriter7, @mkfairygirl, @abigail-m, @jenwriter17, @lydia-s, @when-i-see-the-kingdom, @ilena-louise, @daisy-torres, @jodi-maile, @lucy, @scripter-of-kingdoms, @seekjustice, @lewilliams, @e-k-seaver, @kathleenramm, @g_c_al, @millennium, @wyn-rose, @kayleigh-idea, @joelle-stone

        Hello bestiest friends ever!!  I’m back.  Ok, so what I was thinking we could do is share some of you most intense, dramatic, sweet, beautiful, or simply amazing excerpts to help inspire each other to write more!!!  I’ll start with a few scenes:

        The hard, paneled wall digs into my spine. The dust motes drift lazily through the light beams. I don’t know what I’m waiting for. A sound, maybe. A sign that I’m not alone. A voice, a caress, someone to love. Every morning of every day, I wait. Before I go off into the dangers of the wild, I hope.
        Tick, tick, tick.
        My internal clock tells me it’s time to leave. Another therapy session without the therapist passes. Another hope for the hopeless.
        I sigh and slip off of the dusty quilted bed. The floor creaks beneath me. I slip my feet into two yellow shoes by the stairs. I don’t know where they came from. They’ve always been there, like everything else. The noises, the voices, the whispers at night. And Magnus.

        Idk, I think it might be fun.  Wanna try it with me? 😃

         

         

         

         

        • This reply was modified 3 years, 6 months ago by ella.

        what we do in life echoes in eternity
        -gladiator, 2000

        #97552
        Linyang Zhang
        @devastate-lasting
          • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
          • Total Posts: 1700

          @joelle-stone You’ve come to the right place!


          @nova21
          Mm…sounds fun. Lemme see what I can dig up from the depths of my docs…

          Half an hour later, while he waiting outside the small stationary store for the girls to stock up on stickers or something, the silvery, transparent, star-filled image of a boy was there, standing there, a little too close for comfort, looking at him in a way that seemed to make all time stop.

          “Are you with the…fox…?” was the only thing that Li Huai said.

          “Oh, I’m by myself,” the boy replied, mistaking his question. “But you understand, right?”

          “How would I…stop this catastrophe?” Li Huai asked. “This…end of the world?”

          “You know that place at the end of the dock, where it’s the best place to view the fireworks? Well…” The boy told him.

          Li Huai felt his heart drop like a stone straight into his stomach. “H-how? If the world is destined to end tomorrow, how can I change fate in this way?”

          In reality, he was trying to say no.

          An excerpt from one of my first short stories published, probably the only good thing I’ve written, if you want to read it, hit me up.

          Lately, it's been on my brain
          Would you mind letting me know
          If hours don't turn into days

          #97554
          ella
          @nova21
            • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
            • Total Posts: 604

            @devastate-lasting

            WOOOWWW!!!!  That’s soooo good!!!  I love how you set the scene and it’ sooo mysterious!  I want to read more!!!!!!!

            what we do in life echoes in eternity
            -gladiator, 2000

            #97557
            Abigail.M.
            @abigail-m
              • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
              • Total Posts: 1242

              @nova21

              Thank you for tagging me:) This sounds awesome!!!:D Hmm, let’s see…

              Oh yes, the trees talked. They talked a great deal. And their voiceless way of doing it, was every bit as beautiful as the lake’s song.

              As Mejia listened, she closed her eyes briefly, then alertly opened them to see what she could ahead of her, though it wasn’t much. But just then, in the midst the the not much to see, there was something.

              And the sound of it was a stirring in the trees, beyond the lake. She picked herself off the ice and began walking towards it.

              Mejia heard the twanging all around her and it began to grow strangely more powerful. It grew into a force that nearly knocked her off her feet, surrounding her from all sides. She could see the cracks criss-crossing over and over again under her feet. She began to walk faster, then run as the ice broke away behind her, leaving a trail of broken ice in her tracks.

              #97562
              Jodi Maile
              @jodi-maile
                • Rank: Loyal Sidekick
                • Total Posts: 138

                @nova21 Thanks for tagging me!! This sounds super fun (and like a great way for me to finally get involved in the forums).


                @joelle-stone
                Hi! I’d love to help out with your blurb.


                @devastate-lasting
                Your excerpt sounds amazing! I’d love to read the full short story.


                @abigail-m
                GIRL I love the beautiful (and frightening) wintry description in your excerpt. Is this from your current WIP?

                 

                Here’s something from a Macbeth retelling/short story I wrote a while ago:

                “What do you mean?” Francis said. “What happened?”

                Blake sighed, then quickly turned in the alley and knelt before Francis in front of a door, grasping him hard by the shoulders. Her eyes that had seemed clear moments before now looked bloodshot the closer she got to him, her intense stare pinning him in place.

                “I shot him, Francis,” she said. “I shot the Master’s son, because he was going to kill innocent people. Do you understand? Many innocent people would have died if I did not. But now, the Master wants you dead, because of me.”

                “Because you killed his son?”

                “Because I am the Master’s sister, and you are my son, and that makes you the next in line for his seat now that his son is dead,” Blake said.

                #97563
                Alexa Autorski
                @writerlexi1216
                  • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
                  • Total Posts: 1011

                  @nova21

                  Oooh, this sounds interesting!! Thank you for tagging me!!:) Um… I like this scene:

                  It had finally come—after all of the heartache, long-suffering, and pondering of his future ever since the notion of potentially becoming king was proposed, it was here, and there was no turning back. In only twelve hours, the coronation would be hosted within the ornamented palace, with thousands of people belonging to the royal family pouring into the ballrooms after the ceremony while the chefs engaged themselves in the kitchens, prepping the most fancy dinners up to standard. In only twelve hours, Prince Pirion of Aldova would be crowned the new monarch of the Aldovian kingdom, and the weight of the crown would belong to him.

                  Pirion was downstairs in his room, enjoying himself in the privacy and treating himself to a period of quiet solitude before being confined in the throne room surrounded by the kingdom’s royalty and caught in the middle of the full-of-life coronation. He closed his eyes. In twelve hours, his life would forever change.

                  And then… And then I’ll feel the crown. My father’s crown.

                  #97564
                  Alexa Autorski
                  @writerlexi1216
                    • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
                    • Total Posts: 1011

                    @devastate-lasting @abigail-m @jodi-maile @nova21

                    WOW, all of you are such talented writers!! I enjoyed reading every part of your excerpts!!:)

                    #97570
                    Daisy Torres
                    @daisy-torres
                      • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
                      • Total Posts: 691

                      @nova21 Oooh that’s a great idea!! I LOVE yours! It intrigues me right away!!!  Thanks for the tag girl! <33

                      Here’s mine from Era of Shadows (an Alice in wonderland retelling):

                      ❝Beware of what hides in the Shadows.❞

                      We’ve all heard the stories.

                      We’ve all known the rhymes.

                      We’ve all been taught of the girl named Alice who fell down a rabbit hole, only to wind up in a land far unlike her own.

                      . . . But you don’t know the true story–none of you do.

                      You don’t know how hard the bad Queen of Hearts fought to save her people and keep her land.

                      You haven’t heard the waterfall’s screams as it cried for the souls of those lost during battle.

                      No, the true story has never been told before. . .

                      Until now.

                      Oh, yes, and on your way out, don’t listen to the cat; his secrets are as dark as my own.

                      Remember: We’re all mad here.

                       

                      "It's easy to be caught up in stardust and whispers when reality is so dark and loud."

                      #97572
                      Daisy Torres
                      @daisy-torres
                        • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
                        • Total Posts: 691

                        Oh, I just realised I misunderstood XD I thought we were doing blurbs lolll.

                        Here’s an actual excerpt :))))

                        I was a breathing dead man.

                        Th—Thump. Th—Thump. Th—Thump.

                        My heart thudded in my chest like an executioner’s drum. I could just feel the poison working through my blood, slowing my heart and making every beat feel intense and sluggish, as if my heart was weakening.

                        I tried to remain inconspicuous on the street—tried to blend in with the rest of the crowd. But it was hard when I knew that at any given moment, I would drop dead at the feet of a stranger.

                        Shadow mingled with fragments of neon light was thrown all around me. In the dust floating on light, I saw my life. I saw my entire past crumbling—no, it had already crumbled. I was crumbling.

                        I turned and moved through a dark alleyway. Away from the people, away from the buildings, away from the cameras at the end of every street, away from everything. Behind a blue dumpster I had hidden my scooter. I  hurriedly switched it on. A few minutes later, I was flying down the street as fast as I could go. My heart still felt sluggish, as if it was pumping jelly instead of blood. My thumb began to twitch.

                        Too long. I had been gone for too long.

                        Oh, God—help me. My cry was silent and desperate, but who was I kidding?

                        I was no saint, and heaven wasn’t looking for people who’d worn arrogance like a crown.

                        "It's easy to be caught up in stardust and whispers when reality is so dark and loud."

                        #97573
                        Daisy Torres
                        @daisy-torres
                          • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
                          • Total Posts: 691

                          @writerlexi1216 Yours sounds so good!! I love the glimpse into his struggle here!!!


                          @abigail-m
                          Oh woww. I loveeee that line about the trees, not to mention the ice!!! It’s so vivid!!


                          @devastate-lasting
                          OHH that was amazing, I’m hooked XD That last sentence really sealed the deal!!

                          "It's easy to be caught up in stardust and whispers when reality is so dark and loud."

                          #97576
                          Issabelle Perry
                          @issawriter7
                            • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
                            • Total Posts: 976

                            @devastate-lasting @nova21 @abigail-m @jodi-maile @writerlexi1216 @daisy-torres
                            Whoa, gals, like these are INCREDIBLE!!!!!! Linyang, I loove how yours just came up to that moment where the end of the world’s gonna be like tomorrow. Like, girl, I have GOT to know more about this story!!!!!! Oooh, Ella, I just…I just don’t even know what to say to your snippet’s AWESOMENESS!!! I especially loved this part: Another hope for the hopeless. I can already tell this story is gonna be soo beautiful!!!!! Abigail, I LOOOVE how your snippet is just leaving me with questions and how mysterious it is since not having read any other parts in it. It REALLY makes me just wanna go curl up and read on!! Oh my goodness, Jodi, your snippet is the height of AMAZINGNESS!!! Like the whole suspense and tension and PLEASE GIVE ME MORE! Oooh, Lexi, that was in one word: FANTABULOUS! I love anything with royalty and coronations and your snippet just gave me all da feels. And that last line, EEKKK!!!! I’m still exploding with excitement to read more of this incredible story! And Daisy, I just ADORE how you worded that snippet. It’s just sooo perfect for that moment and everything leading up to that final sentence. I LOVE IT SOO MUCH!!!!

                            And now I’m very nervous to share something after this incredible display of talent, but I guess I’ll do it and hope for the best, right. 😉

                            God gives His hardest battles to His strongest soldiers.
                            TeenWritersNook.com

                            #97577
                            Issabelle Perry
                            @issawriter7
                              • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
                              • Total Posts: 976

                              @nova21 I LOOOVE THIS IDEA!!! THANK YOU SOO MUCH for da tag!!! Here’s a snippet from my novel, Into the Lamp.

                              “Do you think these battles we go through make us courageous?” I asked, remembering that conversation I had with Jarietta years ago. But once the words slipped from my mouth, I wanted to shove them back in.
                              “No,” she said. “These things don’t give us courage. It’s when we chose to face them and fight for what’s right when we find courage. Most of the time, we’re too frightened. So that means, we have to throw off fear to find courage. Right?”
                              I nodded.
                              Genie grinned. “Wrong. Courage is found when we’re trapped in the very depths of fear. It’s choosing to acknowledge that fear and not let it defeat you. Choosing to fight when you’d rather flee. That’s courage.”

                              God gives His hardest battles to His strongest soldiers.
                              TeenWritersNook.com

                              #97579
                              Linyang Zhang
                              @devastate-lasting
                                • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
                                • Total Posts: 1700

                                @nova21 Thank you! I really love to suspense in yours!


                                @abigail-m
                                Yours is so beautiful!


                                @jodi-maile
                                Whoa! Yours pulled me right in! And thank you!


                                @writerlexi1216
                                Yours is really good ahh! And thank you!


                                @daisy-torres
                                Whoa! That sounds AWESOME! And thank you so much! Yes, the last line is very….haha.


                                @issawriter7
                                Thank you, Issa! Your words mean a lot to me!

                                (And now for a shameless self-plug…ahem….to read the rest….is right here….: https://www.webnovel.com/book/yanhua_16433603005917105/tomorrow_44486992448252476 )

                                 

                                Lately, it's been on my brain
                                Would you mind letting me know
                                If hours don't turn into days

                                #97581
                                Joelle Stone
                                @joelle-stone
                                  • Rank: Wise Jester
                                  • Total Posts: 57

                                  Wow, y’all’s snippets are AMAZING!!! I especially liked yours, @issawriter7. Courage is a wonderful thing to write about, and you put it so well. 🙂

                                   

                                  "Courage is found in unlikely places." -Gildor Inglorion

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