WIP Chat!

Viewing 15 posts - 571 through 585 (of 890 total)
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  • #92818
    GodlyFantasy12
    @godlyfantasy12
      • Rank: Chosen One
      • Total Posts: 6645

      Hi everyone! So….I just really wanna talk about my WIPs…….LOL

      So I thought, hey, why not share some of my stuff from my Duology idea? AKA, A two book series for those who don’t know (;

      I haven’t been working on it recently because I’ve been focused on Destiny’s Murder, but when I take my month away from the first draft (somewhere between May-June I’ll probs work on it some (along with the outline for book 2 of my Destined series)

      So I thought I’d share the plot of the Duology’s first book, titled Tempest.

      So the only POV character (and heroine) is Tempest, a girl who lives on an island (more like a large dock) called KaSpeir. She is quiet and keeps to herself because her best friend/adopted brother has been outcast because of his extremely volatile powers. She’s been sneaking in to bring food and take care of him ever since.

      However, she’s unable to truly return the little boy’s love because she feels like she’s the reason he’s in this position, and is guilt-ridden. This guilt also drives her to believe the only way to fix it is to rid Reven (the boy) of his powers.

      But, when the man who unlocked Reven’s powers returns, claiming the boy will destroy the world in a short time, Tempest is forced to take him and run. Her only hope is that she can somehow find a cure. With the help of a Half-Elf half-pixie named Farley and a young elf nicknamed Bear. But, her guilt drives her to want to shield Reven, to the point of forcing him to try and control his powers, which only makes things worse.

      Whereas Bear and Farley try to show her that the boy’s powers aren’t all bad, and instead of hiding them, he needs to cope with them (so sorta like Elsa from Frozen lol)

      (SPOILERS)

      She ignores them however, until she discovers there is no cure, and the only other way to save the world is to kill the boy, which she refuses.

      Eventually, her guilt drives Reven away, resulting in him being caught by the villain, who, is actually Tempest’s father! And the reason she feels guilty is because she led him to Reven in the first place.

       

      So that’s all im gonna say for now, what do y’all think? Like the plot? For the second book the POV will be from Reven, and he’ll be older. He finally discovers why he has these powers and what his role to play is.

       

      #IfMarcelDiesIRiot
      #ProtectMarcel
      #ProtectSeb

      #92819
      GodlyFantasy12
      @godlyfantasy12
        • Rank: Chosen One
        • Total Posts: 6645

        I hope it’s not too similar to Frozen, but I think it’s different enough.

         

        #IfMarcelDiesIRiot
        #ProtectMarcel
        #ProtectSeb

        #92820
        Linyang Zhang
        @devastate-lasting
          • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
          • Total Posts: 1700

          @godlyfantasy12 I was literally trying to find this topic again thank you

          Bruhhh that plot sounds amazing! I’d love to read it!

          (Btw the reason I came here was because I need a last name to go with a first name Holly…I’m trying to bring back the tradition of Holly being a guy name…)

          Lately, it's been on my brain
          Would you mind letting me know
          If hours don't turn into days

          #92831
          Anonymous
            • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
            • Total Posts: 1379

            @godlyfantasy12

            WOW. Was totally not expecting the plot twist!

            I think this sounds epic and I would definitely keep pursuing it! I love close sibling relationships in literature. There needs to be more of them.

            #92832
            Alexa Autorski
            @writerlexi1216
              • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
              • Total Posts: 1011

              @godlyfantasy12

              Hey, this is a great idea! (By the way, the name Tempest is so neat!) WOW, that plot twist was unexpected 😉 Keep it up!

              #92834
              Katherine
              @mkfairygirl
                • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
                • Total Posts: 549

                @godlyfantasy12 I think your WIP sounds genius and IN-CRED-I-BLE!!!!!!!!!!!😃 I LOVE IT!!!!!!!
                I love the idea of the second book being in Reven’s POV!!! And the half-pixie sounds really cool too!!!!

                "It looks like a fairy world"~Meg from Little Women by Louisa May Alcott
                Fall in love with Jesus

                #92845
                GodlyFantasy12
                @godlyfantasy12
                  • Rank: Chosen One
                  • Total Posts: 6645

                  Hey y’all! So idk if I’ve posted it yet….but this is a blurb I wrote for my book Destiny’s Murder! Let me know what u think!

                  #IfMarcelDiesIRiot
                  #ProtectMarcel
                  #ProtectSeb

                  #92847
                  Abigail.M.
                  @abigail-m
                    • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
                    • Total Posts: 1242

                    @godlyfantasy12

                    Wow, that’s incredible! 😀

                    #92854
                    GodlyFantasy12
                    @godlyfantasy12
                      • Rank: Chosen One
                      • Total Posts: 6645

                      Imma tag some peeps to check out ma post

                      @gracie-j @devastate-lasting @joy-caroline @isswriter7 @rmarcher @l-e-williams @e-k-seaver @anyone-else

                      #IfMarcelDiesIRiot
                      #ProtectMarcel
                      #ProtectSeb

                      #92856
                      E. K. Seaver
                      @e-k-seaver
                        • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
                        • Total Posts: 344

                        I have a couple of editing suggestions:

                        – “fourteen-year-old” rather than “14 year old”

                        – Arabelle’s last two sentences are similar in structure. maybe mix it up?

                        – November’s last sentence is awkwardly phrased.

                        – What terrible deed?

                         

                        The pen is mightier than the sword, but in a duel, I'm taking the sword.
                        ekseaver.wordpress.com

                        #92858
                        Anonymous
                          • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
                          • Total Posts: 1789

                          @godlyfantasy12 Girl, that’s awesome! I love it and I can’t wait to read the book!

                          #92859
                          GodlyFantasy12
                          @godlyfantasy12
                            • Rank: Chosen One
                            • Total Posts: 6645

                            @gracie-j thx!


                            @e-k-seaver
                            thanks also!! And as for the terrible deed, it’s the crime Jocelyn is framed for.

                            would it be too much of a spoiler to say it’s a murder or no?

                            #IfMarcelDiesIRiot
                            #ProtectMarcel
                            #ProtectSeb

                            #92862
                            Anonymous
                              • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
                              • Total Posts: 1379

                              @godlyfantasy12

                              I loved your back-cover summary! And have I ever told you I love the title Destiny’s Murder? If not, I do – it’s so fascinating! 🙂

                              My suggestions!

                              – I agree with @e-k-seaver that “fourteen-year-old” would look better.

                              – Jocelyn’s last sentence left me kind of confused. The phrasing is a little awkward, maybe rephrase the sentence?

                              – I’m not sure you used the word “quested” the correct way. I think “quested” is past tense of “quest” and it sounds out-of-place since the rest of your summary is written in present tense. I also think the word works in a sentence such as, “The two friends quested to find the hidden treasure.” It doesn’t make sense in Ara’s first sentence.

                              Other than these suggestions, everything looks GREAT! I would totally read your book!

                              #92864
                              Alexa Autorski
                              @writerlexi1216
                                • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
                                • Total Posts: 1011

                                @godlyfantasy12

                                This looks great! Your charries sound very developed and interesting! 😀

                                #92901
                                imwritehere1920
                                @imwritehere1920
                                  • Rank: Wise Jester
                                  • Total Posts: 92

                                  @godlyfantasy12

                                  Hi there!  Sounds like a cool story, and I love the character name November.  May I asked what inspired the story?

                                  So, I read this over a few times, and here’s a couple suggestions to consider:

                                  First off, the blurb part about Arabella felt a bit vague to me.  Who tasked her with this quest (and what is it specifically)?  Why does it matter to her?  What are the high stakes (or the consequences if she doesn’t go on this quest)?

                                  The part about November and Jocelyn are much clearer and gives their individual goals, conflicts, and high stakes (so those parts are fine).  Also, I liked how you began each of the three sections (Arabella’s, November’s, and Jocelyn’s part of the blurb) with a past tense verb (‘Quested’, ‘Tasked’, and ‘Framed’.)  To me, it adds a bit of parallelism to each section (although I do think @joy-caroline made a good point about the word ‘quested’.)

                                  I think that’s about it.  I hope this helps.  🙂

                                  Dream. Write. Inspire.

                                  https://thepencilsisters.com

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