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- This topic has 895 replies, 36 voices, and was last updated 3 years, 1 month ago by Elishavet Elroi.
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January 21, 2021 at 10:00 pm #89750
@gracie-j Whoa, okay! Thank you! That does help! Yours looks really good!
Lately, it's been on my brain
Would you mind letting me know
If hours don't turn into daysJanuary 21, 2021 at 10:49 pm #89753@gracie-j
The excerpt for your short story was incredible! Was it alright that I read it?
January 21, 2021 at 10:59 pm #89754Anonymous- Rank: Eccentric Mentor
- Total Posts: 1379
@gracie-j
I agree with Abigail, the description of the girl was so vivid!
January 22, 2021 at 12:39 am #89755@gracie-j
My WIP is about a brother and sister who find and try to rescue a baby phoenix.
Is your story historical fiction or fantasy (or both?)
Dream. Write. Inspire.
https://thepencilsisters.com
January 22, 2021 at 8:32 am #89758Anonymous- Rank: Eccentric Mentor
- Total Posts: 1789
@writerlexi1216 Awesome! Ooh…villainy! *cackles more maniacally than the Joker* Hmm…are you writing from the villain’s POV too?
@joy-caroline My six-year-old brother and eight-year-old sister will be back from my nana’s in a few minutes… How old is Seth?
January 22, 2021 at 8:34 am #89759Anonymous- Rank: Eccentric Mentor
- Total Posts: 1789
@devastate-lasting Great! And thank you!
@abigail-m Of course! I’m glad you liked it!@joy-caroline Thank you!
I may post the story on here to get y’all’s feedback–I’m not sure if I should expand it or not…
@imwritehere1920 Cool! Mine’s historical fiction and romance.January 22, 2021 at 8:38 am #89760@gracie-j
Aww, you’re welcome!! TOTALLY COOL!! Yeah, that’s pretty strange and funny about the cat ninja. I went searching for one to try again, but my computer doesn’t actually have one.
I didn’t even know one existed until now. XDGod gives His hardest battles to His strongest soldiers.
TeenWritersNook.comJanuary 22, 2021 at 9:10 am #89761Anonymous- Rank: Eccentric Mentor
- Total Posts: 1789
@issawriter7 XD I have a tablet mode on my laptop, which has a whole databank of emojis, so I have multiple ninja cats–KP just doesn’t like them, apparently. 🙁
@joy-caroline So…my siblings were of little help. My mom and I put our heads together and contrived a situation for you… Seth’s first reaction would probably be shock. He sees a confusing scene–his uncle being beaten and abused by strange men, right? So it takes his young mind a minute or two to process it. Of course, there is a lot of other stuff going on around him–people shifting, men shouting, children playing, etc–so I’m sure he’s distracted and stunned when he finally sees what’s going on. Then he’s filled with fear and probably runs to his mother, burying himself in her skirt and shaking, crying, maybe even screaming. (I would probably have him run away from the crowd and be caught by his mother, probably try to tear away from her until she calms him down–even though I’m sure Temira’s terrified too.) As he grows older, he’d probably become angry at the people who did that to his uncle, or he would finally understand what went on that day and be able to forgive them.
One other thing, even though Seth wouldn’t full comprehend the situation, he’ll definitely be haunted by it. He’ll remember words, flashes, images that won’t ever leave him. He’ll be terrified every time he sees someone who even looks like the perpetrators (that’d be the Romans, of course) and constantly on the lookout for someone who might harm Paul.
Keep the scene from his POV kind of spotty and fast-paced, full of emotion and confusion. The less detail about the actual torture, the better, because Seth wouldn’t understand or even want to see all that went on.
Does that help?
January 22, 2021 at 11:32 am #89768Anonymous- Rank: Eccentric Mentor
- Total Posts: 1379
@gracie-j
Wow. I had never thought of most of those things before! I never thought about adding in confusion – I guess I just kind of assumed he would understand completely, but the scene does happen when he’s only 4 years old, so it totally makes sense.
Having him run away from the crowd sounds like a great idea. Something else I didn’t think of. And having him become angry when he gets older also sounds like a great idea to add tension to the story. That could definitely explain the bitter attitude he eventually develops, which leads to the irrational decisions that get him in trouble later.
Wow, I love these thoughts! I think the things he’s heard and seen will affect his young mind – I mean, I had Temira suffering from trauma, and with him it might be even more so because he’s such a young protagonist. I’ve actually already kind of touched on his having routinely nightmares about Paul being tortured, and as a result always being terrified to sleep. Especially on his own. Though he doesn’t tell Paul and Temira about the nightmares because he doesn’t want to give them more problems than they already have.
Yes, that definitely helps. I’m glad I don’t have to describe the actual torture so much for this scene (probably because I’m lazy, it was always really hard in TAS). Thank you so much! Tell your mom thank you, too. 🙂
January 22, 2021 at 1:17 pm #89788Anonymous- Rank: Eccentric Mentor
- Total Posts: 1789
@joy-caroline That sounds perfect! I’m so glad I (and my mom) could help! You’re so welcome! 🙂
January 22, 2021 at 4:51 pm #89840@gracie-j Congratulations! That’s awesome! 😀
I’ve taken this week off from CG, but in the meantime I revised a short story so I can work with an illustrator on it! It’s nothing super fancy, I’ll just be working with the daughter of one of my mom’s friends, but I think it’ll be a lot of fun and a cool learning experience! And the short story is definitely better for the additional revisions brought on by my desire to impress these folks with a super high-quality story. XD
Speculative fiction author. Mythology nerd. Singer. Worldbuilding enthusiast.
January 22, 2021 at 5:05 pm #89842Ooh, your story sounds so creative!!! I would love to read it if you ever publish it!
My story is a sci-fi (it was originally a 1700 french revolution retelling, but a few things changed XD) with three main characters (each siblings) trying to get out of a scrape that one of my MC’s was born into. She’s basically a cyborg that the Rebellion was going to use as a weapon against the king.
I just finished book two out of three last week!! I’m super excited because I’ve been working on it for four years now!
"It's easy to be caught up in stardust and whispers when reality is so dark and loud."
January 22, 2021 at 6:30 pm #89845Anonymous- Rank: Eccentric Mentor
- Total Posts: 1379
Wow! Congratulations on finishing a novel! That really is a huge accomplishment, especially since you’ve been working on it for four years! That’s a really long time to stay committed, and I commend you!
January 22, 2021 at 9:39 pm #89878Ah, thanks for explaining. Actually, I’m not on Instagram (not really a social media person; I’ll blame my introverted-ness 😉 )
But both Tapas and Webnovel sound interesting.
Hmm. That’s an interesting question. Is it possible to do both? I mean, if it’s realistic to have 50 people, then what if you indicate to the readers that there’s that many people; then narrow in on however many main and side characters you choose? I was watching a show where at least 45-48 people were stranded on an island. But instead of trying to cover every single person, the show mainly focused on a handful of the main characters. Everyone else was in what I call the viewer’s ‘peripheral’ vision.
Would something like this work in your story idea? Or does it need to follow every character in the story?
Dream. Write. Inspire.
https://thepencilsisters.com
January 22, 2021 at 9:47 pm #89886@imwritehere1920 Oh, that’s a thought! I originally wanted there to be a plot point with each of the kids in the class, but I suppose it might be better to have some of them be background furniture. I’ll have to think over this more; thanks for your input!
Lately, it's been on my brain
Would you mind letting me know
If hours don't turn into days -
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