WIP Chat!

Viewing 15 posts - 271 through 285 (of 890 total)
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  • #89750
    Linyang Zhang
    @devastate-lasting
      • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
      • Total Posts: 1700

      @gracie-j Whoa, okay! Thank you! That does help! Yours looks really good!

      Lately, it's been on my brain
      Would you mind letting me know
      If hours don't turn into days

      #89753
      Abigail.M.
      @abigail-m
        • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
        • Total Posts: 1242

        @gracie-j

        The excerpt for your short story was incredible! Was it alright that I read it?

        #89754
        Anonymous
          • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
          • Total Posts: 1379

          @gracie-j

          I agree with Abigail, the description of the girl was so vivid!

          #89755
          imwritehere1920
          @imwritehere1920
            • Rank: Wise Jester
            • Total Posts: 92

            @gracie-j

            My WIP is about a brother and sister who find and try to rescue a baby phoenix.

            Is your story historical fiction or fantasy (or both?)

            Dream. Write. Inspire.

            https://thepencilsisters.com

            #89758
            Anonymous
              • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
              • Total Posts: 1789

              @writerlexi1216 Awesome! Ooh…villainy! *cackles more maniacally than the Joker* Hmm…are you writing from the villain’s POV too?

              @joy-caroline My six-year-old brother and eight-year-old sister will be back from my nana’s in a few minutes… How old is Seth?

              #89759
              Anonymous
                • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
                • Total Posts: 1789

                @devastate-lasting Great! And thank you!


                @abigail-m
                Of course! I’m glad you liked it!

                @joy-caroline Thank you!

                I may post the story on here to get y’all’s feedback–I’m not sure if I should expand it or not…


                @imwritehere1920
                Cool! Mine’s historical fiction and romance.

                #89760
                Issabelle Perry
                @issawriter7
                  • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
                  • Total Posts: 976

                  @gracie-j

                  Aww, you’re welcome!! TOTALLY COOL!! Yeah, that’s pretty strange and funny about the cat ninja. I went searching for one to try again, but my computer doesn’t actually have one. I didn’t even know one existed until now. XD

                  God gives His hardest battles to His strongest soldiers.
                  TeenWritersNook.com

                  #89761
                  Anonymous
                    • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
                    • Total Posts: 1789

                    @issawriter7 XD I have a tablet mode on my laptop, which has a whole databank of emojis, so I have multiple ninja cats–KP just doesn’t like them, apparently. 🙁

                    @joy-caroline So…my siblings were of little help. My mom and I put our heads together and contrived a situation for you… Seth’s first reaction would probably be shock. He sees a confusing scene–his uncle being beaten and abused by strange men, right? So it takes his young mind a minute or two to process it. Of course, there is a lot of other stuff going on around him–people shifting, men shouting, children playing, etc–so I’m sure he’s distracted and stunned when he finally sees what’s going on. Then he’s filled with fear and probably runs to his mother, burying himself in her skirt and shaking, crying, maybe even screaming. (I would probably have him run away from the crowd and be caught by his mother, probably try to tear away from her until she calms him down–even though I’m sure Temira’s terrified too.) As he grows older, he’d probably become angry at the people who did that to his uncle, or he would finally understand what went on that day and be able to forgive them.

                    One other thing, even though Seth wouldn’t full comprehend the situation, he’ll definitely be haunted by it. He’ll remember words, flashes, images that won’t ever leave him. He’ll be terrified every time he sees someone who even looks like the perpetrators (that’d be the Romans, of course) and constantly on the lookout for someone who might harm Paul.

                    Keep the scene from his POV kind of spotty and fast-paced, full of emotion and confusion. The less detail about the actual torture, the better, because Seth wouldn’t understand or even want to see all that went on.

                    Does that help?

                    #89768
                    Anonymous
                      • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
                      • Total Posts: 1379

                      @gracie-j

                      Wow. I had never thought of most of those things before! I never thought about adding in confusion – I guess I just kind of assumed he would understand completely, but the scene does happen when he’s only 4 years old, so it totally makes sense.

                      Having him run away from the crowd sounds like a great idea. Something else I didn’t think of. And having him become angry when he gets older also sounds like a great idea to add tension to the story. That could definitely explain the bitter attitude he eventually develops, which leads to the irrational decisions that get him in trouble later.

                      Wow, I love these thoughts! I think the things he’s heard and seen will affect his young mind – I mean, I had Temira suffering from trauma, and with him it might be even more so because he’s such a young protagonist. I’ve actually already kind of touched on his having routinely nightmares about Paul being tortured, and as a result always being terrified to sleep. Especially on his own. Though he doesn’t tell Paul and Temira about the nightmares because he doesn’t want to give them more problems than they already have.

                      Yes, that definitely helps. I’m glad I don’t have to describe the actual torture so much for this scene (probably because I’m lazy, it was always really hard in TAS). Thank you so much! Tell your mom thank you, too. 🙂

                      #89788
                      Anonymous
                        • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
                        • Total Posts: 1789

                        @joy-caroline That sounds perfect! I’m so glad I (and my mom) could help! You’re so welcome! 🙂

                        #89840
                        R.M. Archer
                        @r-m-archer
                          • Rank: Loyal Sidekick
                          • Total Posts: 244

                          @gracie-j Congratulations! That’s awesome! 😀

                          I’ve taken this week off from CG, but in the meantime I revised a short story so I can work with an illustrator on it! It’s nothing super fancy, I’ll just be working with the daughter of one of my mom’s friends, but I think it’ll be a lot of fun and a cool learning experience! And the short story is definitely better for the additional revisions brought on by my desire to impress these folks with a super high-quality story. XD

                          Speculative fiction author. Mythology nerd. Singer. Worldbuilding enthusiast.

                          #89842
                          Daisy Torres
                          @daisy-torres
                            • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
                            • Total Posts: 691

                            Ooh, your story sounds so creative!!! I would love to read it if you ever publish it!

                            My story is a sci-fi (it was originally a 1700 french revolution retelling, but a few things changed XD) with three main characters (each siblings) trying to get out of a scrape that one of my MC’s was born into. She’s basically a cyborg that the Rebellion was going to use as a weapon against the king.

                            I just finished book two out of three last week!! I’m super excited because I’ve been working on it for four years now!

                            "It's easy to be caught up in stardust and whispers when reality is so dark and loud."

                            #89845
                            Anonymous
                              • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
                              • Total Posts: 1379

                              @daisy-torres

                              Wow! Congratulations on finishing a novel! That really is a huge accomplishment, especially since you’ve been working on it for four years! That’s a really long time to stay committed, and I commend you!

                              #89878
                              imwritehere1920
                              @imwritehere1920
                                • Rank: Wise Jester
                                • Total Posts: 92

                                @devastate-lasting

                                Ah, thanks for explaining.  Actually, I’m not on Instagram (not really a social media person; I’ll blame my introverted-ness 😉 )

                                But both Tapas and Webnovel sound interesting.

                                Hmm.  That’s an interesting question.  Is it possible to do both?  I mean, if it’s realistic to have 50 people, then what if you indicate to the readers that there’s that many people; then narrow in on however many main and side characters you choose?  I was watching a show where at least 45-48 people were stranded on an island.  But instead of trying to cover every single person, the show mainly focused on a handful of the main characters.  Everyone else was in what I call the viewer’s ‘peripheral’ vision.

                                Would something like this work in your story idea?  Or does it need to follow every character in the story?

                                Dream. Write. Inspire.

                                https://thepencilsisters.com

                                #89886
                                Linyang Zhang
                                @devastate-lasting
                                  • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
                                  • Total Posts: 1700

                                  @imwritehere1920 Oh, that’s a thought! I originally wanted there to be a plot point with each of the kids in the class, but I suppose it might be better to have some of them be background furniture. I’ll have to think over this more; thanks for your input!

                                  Lately, it's been on my brain
                                  Would you mind letting me know
                                  If hours don't turn into days

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