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@grcr thanks!
I’m pretty open about my name on here lol. And my dad’s name is Sam if you’d like to know.
Where'd I get ya this time? The liver? The kidney? I'm runnin' outta places to put holes in ya.
@everyone
hey…
I’m having trouble with my mental health again.
I’ve been having really bad anxiety, especially with social situations, and just life in general. And school starts for me in less than a month and part of me doesn’t want to go back, so that’s stressful as well.
My mom also thinks I might be neurodivergent and have a type of ADHD (yes, ADHD is more than just the stereotypical distraction and fidgeting. It explains why I’ve had trouble with bad thoughts, because people with ADHD struggle a lot with shame, anxiety, and internal struggle, more than neurotypical people do. I didn’t know that until she explained it to me XD It frustrates me that ADHD is such an overused term, like depression and OCD…and so when someone does have it, people that don’t have it don’t understand or appreciate it, or assume they know everything about it) Anyway, enough with that rant. It’s not a for sure diagnosis because we’d have to go get testing (and that costs money) but a lot of the symptoms describe me, so it’s likely I do have it.
My relationship with my family is getting SO. MUCH. BETTER! So thanks a million to everyone who prayed! Me and my sister are best friends now <3 and I think that both she and my little brother have been starting to understand about the public school thing.
AND. I’m also going to a counselor for anxiety. Which is a little embarrassing because I’m scared that people will judge me for it and think I’m a crazy person (I mean I’m an author, so they’re not wrong, but that’s not the point lol), but I’m trying to trust my mom (she’s the one who wanted me to go) and trust God and I know if I can do something to help me I should do it!!!!
Sorry. That was a lot.
But yeah prayers would be appreciated. <3
Lukas&Livia
#Lalbert
Sef&Chase
#HOTTOLINE
LEFSE FOREVER!!!!!! <333I will definitely be praying, girl. ❤️❤️ I’m sorry it’s been so rough for you lately! I didn’t know that about ADHD, but I have OCD, so I totally get that it’s deeper than people expect. (I haven’t been officially diagnosed either, but I’m pretty sure it runs in my family.)
I’m glad that you can talk to your family and that they’re there for you right now!
WE ARE REVIVING THE PROTECTION SQUAD! *steals Joseph, Julian, and Sabina from Ellette*
Thank you 😊😊
Yeah it blew my mind!!! I thought ADHD was just being forgetful and hyperactive, but it’s actually so much more!
ADHD runs in my family (or at least my mom sees it in several other people in my family, like my grandma)…or at least I think so. No one’s been officially diagnosed but my mom’s researched it a lot because that stuff is really interesting to her XD
But yeah! God’s done so much in me and in my family it’s been so amazing! <3
Lukas&Livia
#Lalbert
Sef&Chase
#HOTTOLINE
LEFSE FOREVER!!!!!! <333@grcr @keilah-h @savannah_grace2009
Praying for all of you ladies!! ❤️
Write what should not be forgotten. — Isabel Allende
@highscribeofaetherium @esther-c
Thanks guys <333
Lukas&Livia
#Lalbert
Sef&Chase
#HOTTOLINE
LEFSE FOREVER!!!!!! <333You’re doing great Sara 🥰 You are brave to try counseling even though it sounds potentially scary and sensitive.
“Everything is a mountain”
*tries not to cry* 😭😭😭
Whaley you’re the best 💗💗💗 thanks girl
Lukas&Livia
#Lalbert
Sef&Chase
#HOTTOLINE
LEFSE FOREVER!!!!!! <333I’m just gonna vent a little bit…don’t feel like you have to answer XD XD
I just have to get it all out of my system haha
I’m trying to make a hUgE dEcIsIoN that could affect my life in so many ways.
I’m trying to decide if I’m going back to public school or not this year.
Like, part of me wants to keep going just to be able to say I finished strong. I don’t like quitting something I started. I hate the fact that if I quit now, people will start drama and talk about me behind my back. I hate that I might miss out on more high school memories if I quit. I hate that it’ll be awkward with so many people if I leave.
But I just feel like I can’t do this anymore. My mental health fell APART this last year. I was suicidal, I was thinking super dark thoughts about myself. I isolated myself and sabotaged all my relationships and self-destructed when I made a tiny mistake.
I’m not sure what God wants from me.
I’m not even sure what I want. I feel like I can’t talk to my mom about it, because I know she’s fed up with the school system and she’s trying to protect me and angry about how public school broke me. So she doesn’t understand how hard it would be to leave. I feel like everywhere I go, someone has an agenda or someone is biased and will tell me what they think is best, not what actually is best for me. And my relationship with my dad has always been rocky because he doesn’t do emotion 😂 everything I say, he takes it wrong and I just feel like I can’t be perfect enough or the daughter he wants. I’m putting up fronts with everyone, and I don’t even know who the real me is. I change based on who I’m with, and I hate it.
I know that it seems obvious to go back to homeschool, but believe it or not, it’s just as hard for me to leave.
I feel like I can’t win either way.
One thing that’s helping me is NF’s music…I just relate so much XD XD And Jesus helps most of all, of course.
But it still hurts, and I don’t know where to go from here.
Lukas&Livia
#Lalbert
Sef&Chase
#HOTTOLINE
LEFSE FOREVER!!!!!! <333Ohh okay okay okay…
Just take a second to relax, cuddle up in the blankets or something (I’m messaging in bed XD), and remember you are not the problem. You are not the problem for being indecisive. Of course you are going to second-guess this – I know I would – because it’s hard to picture which future is better for you in the long run. Especially when this is emotional.
I don’t know what public school is like… however you should think about who your friends are, and why the idea of leaving school gives you bad feelings. Is it mostly sadness, be ause you don’t want to miss good times with people? Or is it fear? Why would you feel worse feelings?
I’m not saying you have to leave school. I think the first step is understanding why you are sensitive to these things. And if you feel confident in yourself to stay in school and grow from last year, then you go for it, girl! You can put your mind to it and come out on top.
But if you don’t feel comfortable in school – especially if you don’t understand where these negative feelings come from and how to deal with them – no one will force you to go. Your mental health is more important.
I also understand what it feels like to feel bad about missing out on school relationships because of mental stuff. I’m a rising senior and I feel sad! 😅 So that’s also a factor in your decision, because everyone wants a full high school experience.
Being a teen is growth. Embrace those moments. Find the good moments in the bad. I know it’s common advice, but maybe it will be easier if you share this dream with your parents or a trusted figure. Tell them about your goals for high school and why you feel yanked away from those goals by leaving public school. You might find some alternative ways to reach your goals. At any rate it might give your parents a better idea of what you want.
I change based on who I’m with, and I hate it.
I know Sara has deep personal opinions. She has a hard time sharing them. I don’t even know what all of them are. But I know they exist, because she was brave enough to express something.
There are many things unique about you, and they can help you develop a stronger sense of self. This might not sound relevant to the whole school thing, but once you have expressed yourself in a few hobby/appearance ways, it is sooo much easier to feel confident in your own opinions. I cut my hair and I wear disco-ball shoes. 😜 You don’t need to be that dramatic! Just add a little bit of your own interest into everyday decisions. Once you bring simple wants or opinions to light, that will boost confidence.
When you have an opinion, Sara, stop. Internalize it. And then say it out loud. It is real and should be respected. ❤️
I am not going to tell you where you should spend your next school year, because I respect your opinion as opinion #1.
Finally, keep praying and reading God’s word 😉 You’ve got this. Get some good sleep if you’re in the same time zone as me.
“Everything is a mountain”
First of all thank you so much!!! <3 you always know exactly what to say!
But if I’m overwhelming you or if you’re tired of listening to my rants, just let me know XD XD
I don’t know what public school is like… however you should think about who your friends are, and why the idea of leaving school gives you bad feelings. Is it mostly sadness, be ause you don’t want to miss good times with people? Or is it fear? Why would you feel worse feelings?
I don’t have that many close friends, except one–but it’s awkward because he’s like three years older than I am, and he’s graduating this year. I know he feels the same way as I do, like that it’s hard to fit in (because he was also homeschooled before going to public school so he knows what its like) and he’s struggled with intrusive thoughts and got me through a lot of stuff! I also just hate quitting things. And I feel like I finally started making SOME friends, not a lot but one or two, so it’s sad because I’ll be flushing all that progress down the drain :/
I’m not saying you have to leave school. I think the first step is understanding why you are sensitive to these things. And if you feel confident in yourself to stay in school and grow from last year, then you go for it, girl! You can put your mind to it and come out on top.
But if you don’t feel comfortable in school – especially if you don’t understand where these negative feelings come from and how to deal with them – no one will force you to go. Your mental health is more important.
You are so smart! I guess I’m glad I’m going to a counselor because she can help me work through those feelings, even though its scary.
I also understand what it feels like to feel bad about missing out on school relationships because of mental stuff. I’m a rising senior and I feel sad! 😅 So that’s also a factor in your decision, because everyone wants a full high school experience.
Aww I’m sorry :/
Yeah it’s hard :/
Being a teen is growth. Embrace those moments. Find the good moments in the bad. I know it’s common advice, but maybe it will be easier if you share this dream with your parents or a trusted figure. Tell them about your goals for high school and why you feel yanked away from those goals by leaving public school. You might find some alternative ways to reach your goals. At any rate it might give your parents a better idea of what you want.
I talked to my mom last night…and she said that she didn’t have like anything to say lol
So it was just awkward silence, because she said to give it to God cuz she doesn’t have all the answers.
But it was nice to talk to her…and I do need to keep giving it to God. And she got me a snack so that’s a plus XD XD
I know Sara has deep personal opinions. She has a hard time sharing them. I don’t even know what all of them are. But I know they exist, because she was brave enough to express something.
There are many things unique about you, and they can help you develop a stronger sense of self. This might not sound relevant to the whole school thing, but once you have expressed yourself in a few hobby/appearance ways, it is sooo much easier to feel confident in your own opinions. I cut my hair and I wear disco-ball shoes. 😜 You don’t need to be that dramatic! Just add a little bit of your own interest into everyday decisions. Once you bring simple wants or opinions to light, that will boost confidence.
Ohhh okay!!!! You are so amazing at giving advice!!!! <3
When you have an opinion, Sara, stop. Internalize it. And then say it out loud. It is real and should be respected. ❤️
I struggle with this a lot. Public school taught me to stay quiet and not say what I really think or else I’ll get made fun of. So I need to work on that, as well as finding safe people I can speak my thoughts to.
Finally, keep praying and reading God’s word 😉 You’ve got this. Get some good sleep if you’re in the same time zone as me.
Thanks Whaley!!!!
(what time zone are you in?? I’m in mountain time, so it was almost 11 when I got your message)
Lukas&Livia
#Lalbert
Sef&Chase
#HOTTOLINE
LEFSE FOREVER!!!!!! <333
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