My WIP (historical fiction)

Home Page Forums Fiction Writing Critiques Novel Critique Requests My WIP (historical fiction)

Viewing 15 posts - 106 through 120 (of 128 total)
  • Author
    Posts
  • #170652
    Trailblazer
    @trailblazer
      • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
      • Total Posts: 595

      @savannah_grace2009 @vinagirl @hybridlore

       

       

      It was a dry, dry summer. The crops suffered, and Pa worried that they wouldn’t grow to full height in time to produce. There was also the constant fear of prairie fires. Some nights the horizon glowed orange, from the wild, consuming flames miles away.

      I finally found the courage to talk to Chester during the town’s fourth of July celebration. There was the traditional parade, after which all the townsfolk and countryfolk gathered to eat the picnic lunches. This year Mrs. Wimber had the idea to get up a pie contest- any women who wanted could make a pie and enter it in the competition, and then Dr. Richardson, Dr. Hawley, and Reverend Bradshaw would serve as the judges. When they’d cast their votes, the pies were free game for all. I entered a rhubarb pie, but the winner was Mrs. Wilkins’ strawberry cream pie.

      After I had finished eating a piece of Clara’s blueberry pie, I self-consciously approached the faded quilt where Chester and Etta were sitting. Chester saw me coming and stood to his feet respectfully. Etta rose quickly as well, greeting me with a smile and a hug.

      “Hello, Libbie,” she said. “I was just going to grab another piece of that huckleberry pie. Would you care to split it with me?”

      “I suppose I could try a bit,” I agreed.

      “Wonderful! I’ll be right back,” Etta excused herself. Chester shifted his feet and cleared his throat uncomfortably, waiting for me to say something.

      “I presume Etta told you…?” I began.

      Chester nodded. “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize you had such strong feelings for me, or I would have made things clear to you before I started seeing Etta. Perhaps we could have avoided this whole mess.”

      “It was a whole lot my fault,” I admitted. “I responded rather immaturely, and I was so driven by my emotions that I didn’t see what was happening.”

      “I hope we can be friends again?” Chester ventured to say. “Etta and I are courting, but that shouldn’t mean we can’t still share a friendship. Perhaps sometimes you and Albert could come with us on a picnic.”

      I flushed at the mention of my name with Albert’s. I still had not consented to Albert’s pursuit, but clearly Chester was convinced I was seeing him.

      “Albert and I aren’t… I mean…” I stumbled over my words.

      “Oh, I see,” Chester said. “I apologize. Etta told me Albert was intending to buy a claim so he could start farming and build a house for you. I assumed you were courting.”

      “Albert is rather strong-headed,” I said. “He’s been claiming for years that he’s going to marry me, even though I’ve never accepted his courtship.” I was slightly surprised at the revelation of Albert’s intentions, but I tried not to show it. Apparently he hadn’t given up on the hope of marrying me one day, even if he was no longer verbalizing it to me.

      “Well, regardless, I would be honored if you would consider me a friend again,” Chester returned to the original topic of conversation.

      “I would be glad to.”

      At that moment, Etta returned, with Albert on her heels. I recognized the piece of rhubarb pie on Albert’s plate as my own.

      “Here, Libbie,” Etta offered, handing me her plate with a fork. “Take some of the huckleberry pie, and I’ll eat the rest.”

      “Thanks, Etta.” I ate a few bites of the huckleberry pie while Albert greeted Chester. As Chester started talking about the crops, Albert took a big bite of the rhubarb pie.

      “Mmmm, this is the best rhubarb pie I’ve ever tasted,” Albert praised. “The man who’s got the woman who made this pie is a lucky man indeed.” I was sure my face turned crimson; he clearly didn’t know it was my pie and I was much too modest to admit it.

      “Libbie made it,” Etta boasted, giving me away. “I’ve never had a better rhubarb pie in my life, either.”

      Albert turned to me, his eyes wide in surprise. “You made this, Libbie? It’s wonderful! I didn’t know you could bake like that.”

      “Mama taught me,” I shrugged. “The rhubarb ripened at the perfect time. It doesn’t always taste so good if it’s not quite ripe.” I was surprised by the genuine compliment. I had expected Albert to say something like, “Well, then I’m the lucky man!” But he hadn’t. It would’ve been a perfect time for him to declare his intentions to marry me again, but he had refrained. I appreciated that he was giving me space; I needed time to figure out if a courtship with Albert was something I wanted or something I felt obligated to do.

      "Real love is for your good, not for your comfort." -Justin Whitmel Earley

      #170657
      Sara
      @savannah_grace2009
        • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
        • Total Posts: 1985

        @trailblazer

        Aww that was so sweet I love it!!

        Lukas&Livia
        #Lalbert
        Sef&Chase
        #HOTTOLINE
        LEFSE FOREVER!!!!!! <333

        #170676
        hybridlore
        @hybridlore
          • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
          • Total Posts: 1354

          @trailblazer

          Aw me too! That was so funny XD

          There is always light behind the clouds.
          - Little Women, Louisa May Alcott

          #170691
          Trailblazer
          @trailblazer
            • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
            • Total Posts: 595

            @savannah_grace2009 @hybridlore @vinagirl

            Let me know if anything in this scene feels too cliche! I think you’ll like it.

            Nearing the end of July, we were spending a Sunday afternoon at the Culliver’s. Etta and Chester were there; it was the first time they’d joined us all since I’d begun talking to them again.

            After eating lunch, Oscar and Mattie trotted off to the barn to play, but the rest of our families continued to relax and chat. A short time later, Oscar and Mattie came running wildly towards us.

            “Pa! Pa! The barn’s on fire!” Mattie screamed. Oscar was breathing heavily as he stopped short just in front of us. Mr. Culliver and Pa jumped to their feet, followed by James and the other boys. They rushed towards the barn to see, but Amelia grabbed Oscar’s arm.

            “What happened, Oscar? Were you playing with matches?”

            “No, Ma,” Oscar replied. “We were up in the hayloft, and put the lantern up on the pole like you always tell us to, but I guess it wasn’t on the hook right, cuz a gust of wind blew in the door and it fell and broke.”

            Amelia didn’t wait to listen to anything else. She went right to work, pumping buckets full of water.

            “Help me make the house wet,” she called out. “If we can’t stop the barn from burning, at least we can try to save the house!”

            The men were busy leading the animals out of the barn, which flickered eerily in the light of the flames as the fire grew. All of the animals and men were safely out of the barn, and Albert and Chester had thought to grab some of the tools, too.

            Abe scrambled up on the roof of the house and called down to Mama: “Pass me a bucket! I’ll douse the roof!”

            “Here!” Albert pushed a shovel into my hands. “Start digging a trench around the barn to try to keep the fire from spreading.”

            I struck the ground with the shovel, with Albert and most of the others also digging nearby. Mattie had jumped on one of the horses and taken off in the direction of the Perkins farm to get help. But the fire grew faster, roaring with voracious hunger, and I knew we couldn’t save the barn. Once the house was wet, Mama and Amelia and Abe continued filling buckets and began passing them to Etta and Chester to throw on the fire. The tiny bucketfuls didn’t do much against the inferno whipping up into the sky. The shell of the barn could barely be seen amid the consuming blaze.

            Digging trenches, and digging quickly, was hard work. It wasn’t long before I was soaked in sweat from effort and the heat of the flames nearby. The smoke was thick in the air, and I had to stop to cough several times.

            “Libbie! Your dress!” Albert’s frantic cry caught my attention, and I turned to look down, seeing a flame licking the hem of my skirt. Before I could think of what to do, Albert pushed me to the ground and began beating at the flames with his bare hands. I cried out as the flame licked my leg, but in a moment, the fingers of fire were put out. Both of us were sitting on the ground, breathing hard. Half my skirt had disappeared, and the side of my leg was red, but I was alive, and it wasn’t a bad burn.

            I looked at Albert’s face, dripping sweat and spotted with soot. A lock of hair clung to his damp forehead, which was wrinkled in pain. His damp clothes clung to his defined figure. I glanced down and saw that Albert’s hands and forearms were blistering. He’d saved my life, but in the process, he had burned his arms.

            “Albert, your arms,” I said, gently pulling his arm closer to inspect it. He pulled it back, wincing.

            “It’s all right,” he said. “It could’ve been worse. And at least you’re alive. That flame could’ve killed you in seconds, Libbie.” His voice broke.

            Crash! My head swung around as I turned to look at the barn. A new wave of heat blasted over us as the barn roof caved in. A rush of ashes and sparks flew into the sky.

            “Albert! Libbie! Are you all right? What happened?” Etta cried, rushing over to us.

            “My skirt caught fire, and Albert beat it out with his bare hands,” I explained. Self-consciously, I pulled the unharmed part of my skirt over my bare leg. Etta’s eyes widened.

            “Albert! Your arms are burned!” she exclaimed. “Is Mattie back yet? We should send her for one of the doctors.”

            Albert couldn’t do any more work, and I was limping, so Etta steered us into the house and found some aloe to rub on the burns until one of the doctors could be fetched. Then she left us to continue to dig the trenches.

            “Thank you, Albert,” I said gratefully, when we were alone. “You saved my life.”

            “It was nothing,” Albert replied.

            “It’s everything! You could’ve been badly hurt- or worse!” I protested.

            “You’re worth it, Libbie,” Albert said in a strained voice. I could see the pain in his eyes. “You’re worth it.” He didn’t need to say more, for I knew without words that he cared for me deeply- yes, loved me. He had always declared he would marry me one day, and now he’d proven that he loved me. The problem was, I didn’t know if I could return that love. I’d always cared for him as a brother; he’d always acted like one, teasing me but at the same time looking out for me. But maybe it was time to consider more seriously his pursuit of my heart.

             

            There was nothing we could do about the barn. It burned to the ground, and the fire gradually died out. When it was reduced to embers, water was poured over as much of it as possible to guard against any flare-ups that could ignite something else.

            Bert and Clara rode over as soon as they heard what had happened, and Bert bandaged my leg and Albert’s arms, ordering that the bandages be changed every day and aloe applied to the burns.

            When it was time for my family to go home, Etta drew me aside outside to speak with me privately.

            “Libbie, I was talking to Albert the other day,” she said. “He told me about the nature of your… your friendship.”

            “Oh?”

            “He told me how he’d told you about his plans for a farm and building a house, back before he left to work on the railroad. He told me your response, and how you’ve been turning down his advances. Libbie, Albert loves you, and I’ve seen a change in you the past few months. I think you care for him more than you allow yourself to believe.”

            Etta’s words struck home. I hadn’t realized it until now, but I was beginning to think she was right.

            “Etta… I don’t know,” I said. “I’m really not sure how I feel. I’ve always cared for him like a brother. We all used to be so close. I never thought I’d marry him. But since he’s come home again, he’s… different.”

            “Different in a good way?”

            “Yeah… I guess.”

            “Chester’s pa gave Chester some land,” Etta went on, and I wasn’t sure how that related to the status of my relationship with Albert. “Chester wants to build on it, but doesn’t have the money yet. Albert bought a plot of land nearby, and was planning to build a house just as soon as he can earn some more money. The two of them were going to live on a shanty together and farm, and hire themselves out to help harvest this fall in hopes that they can earn enough money to build homes… for us.”

            “Albert didn’t tell me any of this,” I said in amazement. Even though Chester had unknowingly revealed some of Albert’s intentions, I had assumed he had just returned home and was living on the farm working for his pa. I didn’t know Albert had actually bought land and was building a shanty.

            “He said he didn’t want you to feel guilty that he was doing it all for you. He wants to court you because you love him and not because you feel compelled.”

            I didn’t know what to think. Before today, I certainly would have felt guilty. But now, I did not. I was humbled by Albert’s maturity and thoughtfulness… and I was realizing that I truly did care about him more than I’d let myself believe.

            “I saw it in your eyes today, when you looked at Albert after he’d saved your life,” Etta said. “Or else I wouldn’t have told you all that. But I believe you love him, too, and I think you should consider accepting his pursuit.”

            “I’ll pray about it.”

            “Promise?”

            “I promise.”

            "Real love is for your good, not for your comfort." -Justin Whitmel Earley

            #170697
            Raegan Aubrey
            @vinagirl
              • Rank: Wise Jester
              • Total Posts: 57

              AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!! i love it.

              Albert and Libbie are so cute XD

              #LALBERT

              #170709
              Sara
              @savannah_grace2009
                • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
                • Total Posts: 1985

                @trailblazer

                I love it sooooooo much!!! LIBBIE HURRY UP AND SAY YOU’LL MARRY HIM!!!! AHHHH!! lol!

                #LALBERT

                Lukas&Livia
                #Lalbert
                Sef&Chase
                #HOTTOLINE
                LEFSE FOREVER!!!!!! <333

                #170829
                Sara
                @savannah_grace2009
                  • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
                  • Total Posts: 1985

                  @trailblazer

                  Look at my signature…hehe

                  Lukas&Livia
                  #Lalbert
                  Sef&Chase
                  #HOTTOLINE
                  LEFSE FOREVER!!!!!! <333

                  #170843
                  Trailblazer
                  @trailblazer
                    • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
                    • Total Posts: 595

                    @savannah_grace2009

                    Just adding to the list of ship names, eh?

                    "Real love is for your good, not for your comfort." -Justin Whitmel Earley

                    #170845
                    Sara
                    @savannah_grace2009
                      • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
                      • Total Posts: 1985

                      @trailblazer

                      Of course XD

                      Lukas&Livia
                      #Lalbert
                      Sef&Chase
                      #HOTTOLINE
                      LEFSE FOREVER!!!!!! <333

                      #170894
                      Trailblazer
                      @trailblazer
                        • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
                        • Total Posts: 595

                        @savannah_grace2009 @hybridlore @vinagirl

                        K, I got some more for ya!

                         

                        Mama made me rest over the next few days. I felt bad, leaving all the chores to her, but she recruited George and Abe to help out whenever they could. I appreciated the time to think and pray. My leg was still in pain when I walked, but several times I limped outside to the barn, where I sat on a pile of straw with my Bible.

                        “Father, I need to know what You think,” I said aloud. “Albert wants to marry me… and I always said I’d never marry him. But now… I think I love him back… and I don’t want to make a decision I’ll regret.”

                        I opened my Bible and started paging through, not really sure which part I should read. My eyes landed on the book of John, so I opened it up, and the words seemed to leap off the page. “And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also.” I blinked. Had I just read that correctly? Albert was preparing a place, thoughtfully planning and preparing for a future he hoped to share with me, when he didn’t even know whether I would ever be a part of his life in the way he longed for me to be.

                        I felt a strong sense that God was letting me know He had good plans for my future, and those plans included Albert somehow. I thought of Albert, sitting on the ground next to me, covered with soot and sweat, yet still looking as handsome as ever, and realized I did indeed see him in a different light.

                         

                        My leg healed rather quickly, and two weeks later, I was able to go to church again. I was surprised to see Albert there, bandaged arms and all. He approached me outside after the service, and I spoke up before he could say anything.

                        “I’m surprised to see you here, Albert,” I said.

                        “Ma didn’t want me to come, but I told her I could walk just fine, and I was ready to get out of the house,” Albert replied. “You seem to be in better shape yourself.”

                        “Yes, my leg has been healing up nicely,” I replied. “I think there will be a scar, but it doesn’t give me pain when I walk anymore.”

                        “Libbie,” Albert began, his face growing serious, “I know what you told me before when I left to work on the railroad. But if I may be so bold… would you allow me to walk you home from church?”

                        I smiled. “I was hoping you’d say that.” A look of surprise and hope registered on Albert’s face.

                        “You’re- you’re saying yes?”

                        “Yes, Albert,” I laughed. “I never thought I’d agree to it, but God has been changing my heart an awful lot this past year.”

                        “Mine, too, Libbie,” Albert agreed. “Mine, too.”

                        "Real love is for your good, not for your comfort." -Justin Whitmel Earley

                        #170895
                        Raegan Aubrey
                        @vinagirl
                          • Rank: Wise Jester
                          • Total Posts: 57

                          AHHHHHHHH!!!! I LOVE IT!!! Is it weird that I legit teared up? 😅🤣

                          #LALBERT

                          #170897
                          Trailblazer
                          @trailblazer
                            • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
                            • Total Posts: 595

                            @vinagirl

                            After what Libbie and Albert have been through? Nope XD

                            "Real love is for your good, not for your comfort." -Justin Whitmel Earley

                            #170901
                            Raegan Aubrey
                            @vinagirl
                              • Rank: Wise Jester
                              • Total Posts: 57

                              XD they’re just so cute!!!!! 😍😍

                              #170908
                              hybridlore
                              @hybridlore
                                • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
                                • Total Posts: 1354

                                @trailblazer

                                Aww, I love it!!

                                There is always light behind the clouds.
                                - Little Women, Louisa May Alcott

                                #170914
                                Sara
                                @savannah_grace2009
                                  • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
                                  • Total Posts: 1985

                                  @trailblazer

                                  I love them soooo much!!!

                                  Lukas&Livia
                                  #Lalbert
                                  Sef&Chase
                                  #HOTTOLINE
                                  LEFSE FOREVER!!!!!! <333

                                Viewing 15 posts - 106 through 120 (of 128 total)
                                • You must be logged in to reply to this topic.
                                >