- This topic has 127 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 10 months, 1 week ago by
.
-
Posts
-
Oh my, I didn’t even think about human ears! Lol that’s so funny now that I see it that way!
"Real love is for your good, not for your comfort." -Justin Whitmel Earley
I thought the same thing as hybridlore, lol. Otherwise, great!
That whole thing about Albert wanting to kiss Libbie and Bert actually kissing Clara made me cringe (which is a good thing!) because how awkward would that be???? AHHHH! But it’s good! I like it!
Lukas&Livia
#Lalbert
Sef&Chase
#HOTTOLINE
LEFSE FOREVER!!!!!! <333I think that’s why the whole scene felt so weird to me, too. I have a certain amount of romance in a book that I can tolerate and usually kissing scenes are too much for me. Years ago, I personally made the decision to save my first kiss for my wedding day and I think that’s why it’s hard for me to stomach kissing scenes lol. I’m not against other people kissing before being married (it’s just my personal preference) but writing kissing scenes still makes me cringe a little. Like you said, it’s not always bad because that moment between Bert and Clara was really awkward and the reader can feel that, but maybe Albert’s part in it could be cut out of the story. Idk….
Also I realized a while after I started writing this story that Albert and Bert basically have the same name lol. I didn’t try that at all… now I feel like I should change Bert’s name so it’s not confusing, but it’s really hard to change names once I’ve started creating the character.
"Real love is for your good, not for your comfort." -Justin Whitmel Earley
Yeah, I get that. My parents also made the decision to not kiss until their wedding day, and it’s amazing how they were able to follow through, especially in today’s society. I think Albert’s part is fine, because he is a lot like the boys in my school, how he teases Libbie and stuff like that. So I think you should leave it in (unless you really want to remove it, lol). But that’s just my opinion.
I just realized that too! Maybe you should have Albert confront Bert and be like “Hey! You stole my name!” XD
Lukas&Livia
#Lalbert
Sef&Chase
#HOTTOLINE
LEFSE FOREVER!!!!!! <333Ok, I’ll leave it in for now. The story’s still not finished anyway so I can always take it out later if I decide to.
"Real love is for your good, not for your comfort." -Justin Whitmel Earley
@savannah_grace2009 @hybridlore
It’s been a bit since I posted more of my story, so here’s the next little bit. It’s a little fragmented and summary-ish in spots, but it’s what I’ve got lol.
As the fall months passed, Bert Hawley began courting Clara. Clara’s mood brightened considerably, and she willingly did household chores and helped in the garden without complaining. We had a plentiful harvest, and spent much time canning and stewing. Pa and the boys brought in some game, which we smoked and pickled.
James, now eighteen, finished building his soddy on our land. He hoped to someday purchase that land, as well as more of his own.
My heart was full, too. Lillian was growing friendlier as time went on, sometimes stopping to say hi to me or Etta after church, or spending time together at cornshuckings and other such socials.
The first day of our winter term of school arrived. Jennie, Ruth, and Sadie were no longer in school, leaving me, Etta, Lillian, and Sara in the two oldest grades. Etta and I sat down on the bottom step of the stairs as we always did for recess, but today, Lillian waved to us from under the tree where she sat with Sara.
“Come join us, girls,” she invited. I took a look at Etta, whose eyes were wide, and we picked up our lunch pails to join the other girls. Lillian made conversation all during lunch, and I joined in, laughing at things she said. I noticed Etta was unusually quiet, but thought it must just be her shy nature. She’d been quiet when I first met her, too.
As we walked home from school, Etta remained silent, hardly saying a word to me.
“Etta, what’s bothering you?” I asked at last. “You’re not usually so quiet, especially on the first day of school when we have a lot to talk about.”
“I don’t want to lose you.” I was surprised to see tears welling in Etta’s eyes.
“What? Etta, you’re not losing me,” I said.
“Lillian really likes you,” Etta went on. “Libbie, you’re the best friend I’ve had my whole life. I don’t want Lillian to replace me.”
I stopped walking and gave Etta a tight hug. “Etta, we’ve been through so much together. I may be starting a friendship with Lillian, but that doesn’t mean I care about you any less. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
Etta sniffed and quickly wiped her eyes. I was glad Mattie had run on ahead with George and Oscar. She still looked doubtful.
“I promise you’ll always be my best friend, Etta, even if other friends come and go,” I told her.
“Thank you, Libbie, that means a lot.”
As the days passed, Etta warmed up to Lillian a little more, and along with Sara, we created a foursome.
"Real love is for your good, not for your comfort." -Justin Whitmel Earley
Yayy! Looks good! I don’t mind the summary kind of telling, I think it works well for this story.
"Be careful, for writing books is endless, and much study wears you out." Eccl. 12:12
“I don’t want to lose you.” I was surprised to see tears welling in Etta’s eyes.
Aww, I love their friendship! This almost made me cry XD
I agree with Hybridlore, I don’t think the summary-type writing is a bad thing. It fits great with this story!
Lukas&Livia
#Lalbert
Sef&Chase
#HOTTOLINE
LEFSE FOREVER!!!!!! <333Aw, thanks! I love their friendship, too. I want to set up some more scenarios with the two of them.
"Real love is for your good, not for your comfort." -Justin Whitmel Earley
Ofc! I love stories with that kind of friendship…makes me miss my best friend, lol.
Lukas&Livia
#Lalbert
Sef&Chase
#HOTTOLINE
LEFSE FOREVER!!!!!! <333@savannah_grace2009 @hybridlore
Finally getting back to this… but here’s a little more!
My fifteenth birthday came and went. After school let out for the spring, there was a lot of work to be done on the homestead to plant our crops and gardens.
The summer term of school began, and it was my final term of school. As I walked into the schoolyard with Etta by my side, she turned to me and stopped in her tracks.
“Libbie, this is the last time we walk to the first day of school together,” she said. “I’ll have to do it twice more without you. School will be so lonely when it’s just me and Sara.”
“I know, it feels so strange,” I agreed. Suddenly a boy standing alone by the fence caught my attention. “Who is that? Is he new?”
“That’s Chester Perkins,” Etta told me. “His family just moved into the area. We met them at church on Sunday.” Chester’s dark hair fell across his forehead, but I looked away before I could meet his eyes.
“He’s handsome,” I observed as we walked past and entered the schoolhouse. Etta said nothing, but I hardly noticed. My heart was thumping and my mind was whirling with hopes that I’d have a chance to get to know him.
To my pleasure, Chester became fast friends with my brother George, and he began walking home with us part of the way before he turned off to go to his farm. It wasn’t long before he was joining George and Etta and I whenever we were exploring together or picnicking.
One day in July, shortly after the summer school term ended, I was picking peas in the garden when I noticed dark storm clouds on the horizon. A knot formed in the pit of my stomach. I knew those ominous clouds all too well. Already this summer we’d had several bad storms, throwing hail on our crops and destroying some of them. I gathered the peas I’d plucked so far and hurried into the house.
“Mama, there’s a storm coming,” I warned. Mama’s lips tightened.
“Let’s hope it’s not a bad one,” she said. I said nothing, but put the peas in a bucket and went back outside to finish gathering peas until the storm came. The wind started picking up as the clouds grew closer. Slowly they moved to cover the sun until the sky was dark. I took my full apron of peas into the house and then stood in the doorway with furrowed brow to watch the storm.
“Where are Pa and the boys?” I asked.
“I think they’re still out in the field,” Mama replied. “I wish they’d come in. One of these days they’ll get themselves struck by lightning.”
The rain began coming down, and shortly, Pa and the boys came into view. They entered the house soaked, and I continued to stand at the door and watch. Abe stood right behind me, peering over my shoulder.
“Twister!” he called out with a sudden shout. “It’s a twister!”
I saw a long, snaking cloud twisting out of the sky and reaching hungrily towards the ground, ready to slurp up anything in its path.
“Get in the cellar,” Pa commanded, lifting the new floorboards to access the cool space beneath that we called the cellar. My whole family crowded inside, and Pa pulled the boards back over top. It was cramped and the air thick. I listened intently, trying to hear the wind die down. After ten minutes or so Pa lifted the boards again and stuck his head out.
“Well, the house is intact,” he noted. He got out and went to the door. “There’s no sign of the twister,” he called back. “It’s still raining, but no twister.”
Relieved, the rest of us climbed out of the cellar, and Mama said a prayer of thanksgiving that our buildings were safe. The storm passed in another ten minutes, and Pa went back out to inspect the crops. When he returned, his face was grim.
“Some of the crops have been damaged,” he reported. “Perhaps a quarter of them. Looks like the twister went through part of our land.” I felt the gravity of his statement. A quarter of the crops was a quarter of our income for the year.
"Real love is for your good, not for your comfort." -Justin Whitmel Earley
Awww…Libbie has her first (????) crush!
I like this chapter!
Lukas&Livia
#Lalbert
Sef&Chase
#HOTTOLINE
LEFSE FOREVER!!!!!! <333I mean, she could’ve had a crush before her family moved… but I didn’t think that far back lol. It doesn’t really matter for the sake of the story though. I’ll try to update this again soon.
"Real love is for your good, not for your comfort." -Justin Whitmel Earley
I mean, she could’ve had a crush before her family moved… but I didn’t think that far back lol. It doesn’t really matter for the sake of the story though. I’ll try to update this again soon.
Well, it’s the first in the story XD
Lukas&Livia
#Lalbert
Sef&Chase
#HOTTOLINE
LEFSE FOREVER!!!!!! <333Tis true
"Real love is for your good, not for your comfort." -Justin Whitmel Earley
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.