TheShadow

@hybridlore

Okay! I could always try to integrate that into scenes while they’re traveling (to the church meetings, to their jobs).

That sounds good.

Gotcha. I’ll try to add some more of that in.

Cool, I’ll look out for it.

@hybridlore

Okay, I see what you mean. Are you thinking like, within their friend groups? Most of the story so far takes place either at school, the church meetings, or their house. Later, though, there will probably be a lot of scenes at their respective job assignments, so you’ll get to see more of the culture then. Do you have any ideas for s…

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@hybridlore @esther-c @theducktator

Thanks y’all!!

@whalekeeper @loopylin

Praying 🙏

@linus-smallprint

Thank you!!

@hybridlore

All caught up now. It’s good so far, though I have two thoughts. I think you could maybe show more of the oppression in Christianity/religion and the society a bit more? Specifically beyond the school and the laundromat, because it would make it feel a bit more alive. Second, maybe you could show Sara’s feelings of purposelessness…[Read more]

@whalekeeper

Praying for both of your family members.

@anyone

Speaking of family, could you guys please pray for my two older brothers? One has stopped speaking to us and is no longer Christian and the other, while he’s open to the faugh, has also left it. Thanks.

@liberty

Thank you so much!!

This piece could belong to a longer story where you’d learn the two girls’ conflict with each other, but it’s written so that it’s not needed.

Funnily enough, I’m thinking of using these characters (who are characters from some of my first ever stories) in something, idk what yet though.

I love that line as well!!!

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@the_lost-journal

I feel attacked. I’ll try to get to it this week… hopefully. We’ve got to write the next chapter as well.

@esther-c

Hybrid pointed that out to me too. For this chapter specifically, I wanted it to feel pretty fast paced, specifically when she got to the party. Do you think that worked?

Ah, okay then that makes sense. It did work pretty well, the chapter felt fast paced. Not in a bad way though, it introduced the characters and world efficiently.

Let…

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@keilah-h

Lucky, I try to draw stuff fast then end up erasing it aggressively lol.

@linus-smallprint

I had a feeling I needed to hear this. Thank you for the advice, I really do need to listen to it. I’m a bit of a perfectionist so it’s going to be hard to post stuff as it is, but thank you again.

@ellette-giselle

Linus is 💯 correct. Plus, the more you pause the more you lose your flow. For me, I turn off autocorrect and gra…

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@hybridlore

Okay, I’m going to catch up with the rest of the chapters, but chapters 5-6 were good.

@esther-c

This was good, nice job. The only thing I would recommend though is using a bit more body language.

@keilah-h

Nice, it looks really good!!

@esther-c

Please tag me for when you post the chapters, your boards look so good!!

@ellette-giselle

Thank you!! And I totally agree with you, those types of parents are so annoying in fiction (looking at you Disney Channel and YA books).

@linus-smallprint

Thanks, and this is technically the first draft, although I started around Christmas last year but ended up deleting a few of the chapters and rewriting…[Read more]

@keilah-h

It’s a super irrational fear but it’s there. Not that your story is scaring me, I enjoy it.

Lol, thanks, and no judgment on the the irrational fear, we all have them XD. Whenever I’m alone and can’t find anyone in the house I assume they’ve been Thanos snapped or something lol.

@hybridlore

Glad you like it, thanks!

@whalekeeper

Yes, this sounds great!!

@keilah-h @hybridlore

Great, here it is:

Chapter 1

“You ever wondered what it would be like to leave Rosen?” Jack questioned, glancing down at his twin sister.

Elina’s eyebrows shot up, “Why? Do you want to?”
“I don’t know.” Jack replied. “I’ve been thinking about it a lot, though. I mean, it’s kind of weird we can’t leave, what with the wa…[Read more]

@rae @keilah-h

Lol, I would love to read that. I’m cool with my characters leaving.