TheLobsterLover

@freedomwriter76 @keilah-h @godlyfantasy12

Zlatan

The voice of a ten year old lad shattered all the quiet left in his mind. Zlatan flinched and nearly dropped the reeds he’d gathered. For some reason this hasn’t been what he’d thought of when he first learned the fox talked.

Yet he seemed to be the least affected.

“Eva, put him down.”

She…[Read more]

@godlyfantasy12 Well, Crosshair is sort of a quiet character anyway, so while the first option does seem to make a little more sense, a mix of both options is probably the best way to go.

@elishavet-pidyon @koshka @freedomwriter76

Also please note, my brother got really mad at me for adding Jareth and Crow for some reason, so I’m just going to…[Read more]

@freedomwriter76 @elishavet-pidyon @godlyfantasy12

Vulkasin

Vulkasin grinned and started after Alyona. “Sounds v’onderful to me. And comrade,” he turned a thoughtful face to Franz. “Of course I ask children v’hat zey fink. Sometimes zey’er ze only v’ones zhat do.”

Vulkasin waited for a moment, unconsciously looking for that beloved side look…[Read more]

@freedomwriter76 @keilah-h @godlyfantasy12

Zlatan

The fox sat glaring at him, one paw held at an awkward angle.

Ah Nyx…

Zlatan stepped closer, trying to see what was wrong with the forepaw, but Nyx hissed and twitched away, hackles raised.

“I’m not going to hurt you.” He stepped back satisfied in a rather unsatisfactory way. “You need a…[Read more]

@godlyfantasy12

Sounds good!

And for some reason I’ve been thinking of Nyx starting off the conversation by calling Zlatan names…*snicker*

@freedomwriter76 @elishavet-pidyon  @godlyfantasy12

Mikkel

“Is November okay?” Riker paused, moaned. “Am I supposed to be…is it nighttime already?”

The blood drained from Mikkel’s face, but he lifted a hand. “How many fingers and I holding up?”

Riker blinked, squinted. “Three?”

Mikkel dropped his hand, mild relief bring ing back some color…[Read more]

@freedomwriter76 @keilah-h @godlyfantasy12

Zlatan

Eva stood in the middle of a room. Zlatan quickly wiped clean his blade, stuffing the oil cloth back into it’s place. He sheathed his sword before coming into the room.

A golden fluff ball curled up in her arms.

Nyx.

Oy this fox was not happy to see him.

Zlatan closed the door behind him,…[Read more]

@freedomwriter76 @elishavet-pidyon @keilah-h @godlyfantasy12

Zlatan

His sword was messy now, but he didn’t stop to clean it even though the sounds of pursuit had died to a patter.

Let the rest to have made it to safety.

Zlatan kept climbing stairs, checking rooms. Two levels. Three.

Vulkasin

Lyn and Altona stared at him, worry plain on their…[Read more]

@freedomwriter76 @godlyfantasy12

Sure! XD

Y’all are awesome.

@freedomwriter76 @elishavet-pidyon @godlyfantasy12

Mikkel

Riker was fading, something more than just a scraped up forehead was to blame.

“Hey!” Mikkel lightly slapped him. “Stay with me.”

Riker blinked, his eyes hazey and dilated. Probably slightly concussed.

Great. Oswald, what do I do?

Oswald’s gone.

Mikkel dragged in a breath, shoving…[Read more]

@freedomwriter76

Good job! As its only first draft, I swap out all ‘w’s and ‘th’s as they aren’t a sound in Russian.

@elishavet-pidyon @keilah-h @godlyfantasy12

Zlatan

Was the man crazy?!

No, he was an officer, just like Zlatan himself. First in attack last in retreat. In better circumstances two officers would both give all the information…[Read more]

@freedomwriter76 @elishavet-pidyon @keilah-h @godlyfantasy12
Zlatan

The bay of a war dog. One small mark on time. Instant chaos in the ranks.

Hateful chaos and disorder.

The Desanik in Zlatan took over.

The tower door had been cleared, their paths somehow traced. By the sound at least half a dozen guards were already inside.

No time left.…[Read more]

@queen_of_alvastia

As far as edits go, it was confusing which character you were speaking for as the POV switches around. Are you writing omniscient view?

@queen_of_alvastia

Is he okay?

IS HE?!

I need to knoooow!!!!!!

@queen_of_alvastia

*Quiet voice in corner*

What just happened?

@godlyfantasy12

You’re welcome! This is my favorite type of book research too, so thank you!

@godlyfantasy12

Okkaaayyyy…*drags self back from hospital reports*

It looks like the wound is somewhat chronic, frozen in the stages just after bleeding, where the skin is sealed somewhat, but the wound is still open while no longer bleeding. which would make sense if it is painful from time to time. The magic would have to come in here as the…[Read more]

@godlyfantasy12

Ooo, wonderful tension! The things authors love to create yet struggle to write.

It sounds good so far; the emotions seem balanced to me.

How would Ara respond to November being hurt? How did she want to respond to Riven?

At this point it looks like she’s about to explode, which could manifest itself in various ways depending…[Read more]

@godlyfantasy12

I’ll need to check this, but it sounds like the wounds close up, but be scar tissue grows. Anyway I’ll be back on here once I’ve done some research.

@lydia-s

Ooo, here’s one I found recently.