TheArcaneAxiom

@ellette-giselle

Huh…interesting!

@savannah_grace2009

(Sorry I took forever to reply!! Life has been busy and I’m doing the King’s Daughters’ Writing Camp this month)

Lukas

Lukas bit his lip, his gaze roaming the ground as if searching for an answer in the dirt. “W-well, I don’t think H-He’d just stop listening…” he wet his lips. “B-but I can pray for you if-if you want.”…[Read more]

@ellette-giselle

well, I can say personally that I get annoyed with books that have a complex plot and also make you figure out what the world is and whats going on. I would really prefer to know more. It could be informative where you just tell the reader, or it could be something like one of the kids asking a question and an adult explaining…

[Read more]

@whalekeeper

Alriiight, Chapter 1. Please tell me if you get overwhelmed with all the feedback, because if that happens, I will gladly pause.

I was overwhelmed a bit, but you don’t have to pause, I just needed a day to process everything haha!

Sooo I get this weird feeling about Nico. I’m not entirely convinced he doesn’t love them, nor do I kno…

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@jonas

Ugh…I feel like I keep saying things I will regret later XD

Why are you so good at this??? You need to be an editor someday lol

I do have one more question regarding this. If the Andromedans so universally despise and hate Paynes, then where do you get the people who are willing to marry a human and become Paynes themselves?

Before the…[Read more]

@ellette-giselle

The only thing I would say was when it said Cassian “ran, trying to outrun himself”

Actually it was “Cassian ran, trying to outrun time itself”.

That still might grate a little bit because of ran/outrun, so I changed it a little bit.

Also, from the perspective of someone who doesn’t know the full story and really is like a reade…

[Read more]

@everyone

Sorry for not getting back to you guys! I admit I did get a little overwhelmed…WHY ARE THERE SO MANY HOLES IN MY STORY LIKE DOES IT SUCK THAT MUCH????

Such is life XD

Don’t worry…you guys are helping me a lot! I’m a sensitive person and writing’s something really close to my heart so when I get all these things I’m doing wrong I…[Read more]

@ellette-giselle

I read the last two chapters and that hit me hard too!!!

I almost cried….😭😭😭💔💔

I need to read it all the way through again!

You have a beautiful story and I can’t wait to see what God does with it!

(And I understand perfectly about why you started before Marcus converted, it makes sense now!)

@ellette-giselle

I think I’ve decided on a character but I’m still trying to write an adequate description for you. So I should be finished at some point today or maybe tomorrow.

Your drawing of Shadow’s character looks sooo good!

@ellette-giselle

I’d join too…except I don’t write enough to have a competition XDD

@savannah_grace2009

Aww, I love that chapter. Sef and Lilitu are adorable.

@savannah_grace2009

You’re right, it does come across as a bit extreme. But Kratos was/is a representation of every Andromedan race, and it’s showing how EVERYONE treats Paynes. Paynes aren’t even seen as “people” anymore (think WWII during the holocaust, except there aren’t any sympathizers). I can make him less…idk, happy that this is happening,…

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@grcr

Thank you!!! <3

@rae

I didn’t know Sef and Lilitu knew each other that long!

Yeah me neither… 

I just came up with it as I was writing it XD

DROPPING THE NEXT CHAPTER!!!

Just so you know, it’s not edited…heh…heh…

so just bear with me XD

Tags: @jonas @grcr @esther-c @highscribeofaetherium @ellette-giselle @rae @and-my-brain-stopped-working

“Please! Someone help me!” Neveah gasped for breath, frantically scanning the crowds for a familiar face.

Where could Sef have gon…

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@freed_and_redeemed

I mean like I’m one to talk… XD

I’m surprised no one’s called the Character Exploitation Hotline on me yet…

@ellette-giselle

Chapter four was really smooth and was a lot easier to follow! I don’t have hardly any comments.

Except maybe one thing…maybe give more detail about why Julius is so mad that Marcus is missing. It just kind of shows Julius “throwing a fit” for no apparent reason. Maybe show us his thoughts about why is is scared/angry and…[Read more]

@ellette-giselle

I am so sorry…I just can’t keep up with the ammount of chapters you write

That’s insane XD XD

I will try to go over chapter 3/4 soon, I forgot where I left off!!

But about the plot, I was just wondering what your storyline looked like.

I was concerned that you might not have enough plot for a full novel, but since it’s a…[Read more]

@jonas

Okay, that explanation works. However, this being the first chapter and all, readers will assume that that is just an innate characteristic of Paynes. Furthermore, Kratos shouldn’t expect the smell, and you might want to make him remark to himself about it.

Okay good point XD XD

Unless… How do you want the other Andromedan races to come acr…

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@keilah-h @theducktator @theshadow @rae

Sooo sorry it’s taken me so long 😅😅😅

But I will try to RP today, I can’t this morning since I have a practice, but I’ll be free later this afternoon

@savannah_grace2009

Because of their spiritual decay as they slowly drifted away from the Great One and became more and more open to the idea of abandoning their faith, they would start to take on characteristics of Pythonos without actually becoming one entirely.

Okay, that explanation works. However, this being the first chapter and all, r…[Read more]