Sunny421

@keilah-h @godlyfantasy12 @freedomwriter76 @koshka @wilder-w

Ok!

Reúven & others

Well, here they were. Literature right off the top. Reúven pulled a chair out for Liora and he and Viktor sat down on either side.

The teacher had stepped out to talk with another teacher in the hall, letting the  students settle in before class started. She wa…[Read more]

@freedomwriter76 @elishavet-pidyon  @godlyfantasy12

Almarrin

The elf smiled. “Êl síla erin lû e-govaned vîn, Dolunay, Nyx. I am Inglor Avelorion, and this is my friend Almarrin Woden.”

Almarrin bowed, but his attention was moving on. “Classes, Inglor.”

“Brother,” Inglor clamped a hand on his arm. “Are these your manners?”

“I bowe…[Read more]

@freedomwriter76

Go pound em, Ezra!!!!

@freedomwriter76 @elishavet-pidyon  @godlyfantasy12

Yes, the Alven have pointed ears, but they’re regular size. (Luna is adorable)

Inglor

Most of the students here walked in shadow as if fear itself lurked in the corners. They also gave Almarrin and him a wide berth. He frowned, the dance in his step diminishing.

Then a smile, one bright,…[Read more]

@godlyfantasy12

Actually, I don’t know. XD

Lyn and Grimm might be fun, since they haven’t really run into each other very much in the other RP.

And Lynn may have some fun.

@keilah-h @godlyfantasy12 @freedomwriter76 @koshka @wilder-w

The poor baby!

Also, I have an idea for a scene for later after Alwin has met some more charries in which he gets knocked over and… his backpack falls open. 

But for now…

Alwin

An annoying buzz sounded overhead, calling Alwin’s attention to his slow feet. He sped up, his worn t…[Read more]

@godlyfantasy12

My phone is about to die though, so It would be better if you introduce them, while I hunt for my charger.

@godlyfantasy12

Sure! (Nyx and Almarrin…that would be hilarious)

@wilder-w @keilah-h @godlyfantasy12 (November!!!) @koshka @freedomwriter76

Reúven

Golden sunlight splashed across the crowd of students, staining everything in light. Reúven squinted at the brightness and shifted his eyes away.

Better to not burn spots into his vision.

Viktor walked beside him like a young soldier going to court martial. The b…[Read more]

@elishavet-pidyon

Go ahead!

@godlyfantasy12

I just had this scene pop into my head where Luna and Inglor meet!

“Well, hello, little sister.” Blinks at her purple hair and eyes with a slightly bewildered ‘where are you from?’ expression.

@freedomwriter76

I’m just going through the forum, and what should meet my eyes?

THAT SCENE WAS AWESOME! And hilarious, and sooo sweet! I love the way Riker swaps from understanding friend to protective brother. It’s perfect!

@godlyfantasy12

Ugh, November…*groan* no one better touch him again! I have an elf and a half-elf in my ranks.

(Yes Aramis, that was a threat)

@godlyfantasy12

I can! Should I hop in with my threesome?

@starofthenorth

Hmmm, that was really fun to read! I love the “Christopher is king” dynamic to pieces!

As for critiques, I would basically repeat everyone else. From what you asked, I don’t think you’re intending to make them feminist etc., so I would bring the emphasis off of the catch words and more on the characters. It’s Briana against…[Read more]

@freedomwriter76 @elishavet-pidyon  @godlyfantasy12 @wilder-w

Y’all’s character is are so…so…AHH!! You have to save them, the poor, dear, charies!

Anyway…

Almarrin

Whispers all this morning were stirring the quiet anger inside him.

“From the second story…”

“…heard he just tripped…”

Almarrin slung his backpack over his shoulder,…[Read more]

@freedomwriter76. @koshka. @wilder-w. @keilah-h. @godlyfantasy12.

Alwin

Another day.

Alwin shuffled wearily down the hall toward his classroom. The halls were crowded with students wrapped in conversation, exchanging schedules, rifling through backpacks, and heading to class. Bleary eyes blinked in dumbfoundment at the bright spirits of the…[Read more]

OH! And I can hardly believe I didn’t explain their set up.

Ok.

Viktor is now living with his uncle, Micha, and cousin, Reúven. A friend of Micha with unmentionable connections in government located Viktor and got Micha custody of him and his sisters Alyona and Nadían. Alyona is 13, and Nadían is 12, and they decided not to have Alyona come that early.

@freedomwriter76. @koshka. @wilder-w. @keilah-h. @godlyfantasy12.

I’m on for now!!

So, before I go for Alwin, I’ll introduce the rest of my charries.

Also, I think the invisible country this AU is in is involved in combat in a far off country. It’s not a war close to home, so nobody really notices it except for those involved. (And sorry, I…[Read more]

@starofthenorth

Everyone else basically said exactly what I was going to, so here’s a condensed form of my two cents:

I would make it about Briana, not girls. So say something like “Why am I not taking a watch?”, just to remove the focus at the beginning. I would also revise the part about being pretty. Maybe put inphasis on ‘I’m your king,’…[Read more]

@freedomwriter76 @godlyfantasy12

Cécile 

The moment these two had appeared the rest of the group went nearly rigid. As soon as the man had started speaking, she almost had to hold Annia back. The girl’s hands were held at her waist in tight fists, showing her calloused knuckles.

“Annia, no.” Cécile whispered in her ear. “Breaking his nose wo…[Read more]