Stepheroni and Cheese

@hybridlore

Awesome!! Sorry I stopped tagging you, I didn’t know if you were still reading.

I’m sorry I didn’t read sooner. XD I seem to have the unfortunate tendency of promising my feedback on multiple manuscripts. Nevertheless, I am here.

Making the world relatable was one of my big focuses, because I didn’t want it to just be this unr…

[Read more]

@hybridlore

I’m in Sunrise Peak as well!

Yeah, i guess so 🤷🏻‍♀️

@keilah-h @hybridlore

Thanks ladies!!

I’m kinda nervous to submit it, but idk why 🫣😂

@whalekeeper

Honestly, their economic system makes no sense. They just have infinite money???

@whalekeeper

Yes! It’s back!

My love of dance has influenced my attitude toward critique a lot. It’s taught me to want corrections. One thing my favorite ballet teacher always says is that listening to your corrections is the best way to improve, and I’ve heard variations of this from the other teachers as well. The aforementioned favorite…[Read more]

@keilah-h

Oh wow, you’re an adult now. Yeah, paperwork, insurance, college, taxes, a job…good luck! XD

@loopylin @liberty

*screeches* Fiends! Thou shalt pay for this!

@hybridlore

Ooh, that looks fun! I think I’ll join the July one.

@hybridlore

I read through everything so far!

This is looking great. I’m really impressed with your style. It’s so confident and… I don’t know how to phrase this. Occupied with the plot. There’s always something going on, and because of the realistic dialogue, I can really believe in the overall realism of the world.

I like how the world and…[Read more]

@esther-c

Sorry I’m just now getting to this!!!!

My main critique would be that you spend a lot of time on dialogue. I kind of feel like we just got thrown into the story and all we know about the characters is because of what they say. Maybe breaking up some dialogue and really showing us who they characters are would help…it kind of feels l…[Read more]

@liberty @keilah-h @theducktator @hybridlore

Ok! So I’m not posting this as soon as I wanted, lol, but this is the almost final draft and I’d like your thoughts again if y’all are willing.

I didn’t change any of the tenses or add words because I wanted it to sound very “in the moment” if that makes sense. I did add a couple of things that hopefu…[Read more]

@raxforge

Lolll, funny, but legit too

@koshka Sylph is very cute, by the way. I want to know how he dances.

I seriously need to update the foreign lit/etc. class, since it’s my character teaching the class. Posting this reminder for myself, so maybe I get it written tonight.

@the_lost-journal

tbh, I am also confused about the teachings  XD And I do wonder why. But also I get this feeling of fullness after going to confession. So whatever it is, I think I am going to stick to it! Also  thanks for the prayers. I won’t be able to get back to anyone for a while btw. I AM GOING SKIING! ^o^

I agree, it does help to tell oth…[Read more]

@whalekeeper

okay hahahaha sounds good lol

I’m going to sit in a brown study for a while, and get back to you. *Thumbs up*

@keilah-h

Post it when you’re done, if you like! :]

Oh XD You replied quickly

I think Esther’s comments have a lot to do with the ✨Three Ps✨ but I have to think about it some more