@spradlin
Active 8 years, 6 months ago- Rank: Loyal Sidekick
- Total Posts: 189
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Kate Flournoy replied to the topic Inter-genre Island in the forum Short Story Critiques 10 years, 10 months ago
Arianwen: *blinks in confusion* “What?”
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Kate Flournoy replied to the topic Inter-genre Island in the forum Short Story Critiques 10 years, 10 months ago
Arianwen scrambles over edge of bank and comes to sudden halt, staring through the last remnants of the thorn thicket into a rocky valley sloping sharply down into the land at her feet. At the far end of the valley is a 1600’s mansion, fenced in with barbed wire and concrete. A road leads through the valley and to the house, then past the house…[Read more]
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Hope Ann replied to the topic Inter-genre Island in the forum Short Story Critiques 10 years, 10 months ago
Anna: “And keep your ears open for a spring or something; I’m getting desperately thirsty.” *looks up at looming mountain as the whole party starts forward along the swamp edge.*
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Kate Flournoy replied to the topic Bad heroes, messed up protagonists, and character arcs in the forum General Writing Discussions 10 years, 10 months ago
That’s a good theory. Quite sound, actually. Did you have any thoughts to elaborate on that, @Daeus?
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Kate Flournoy replied to the topic Inter-genre Island in the forum Short Story Critiques 10 years, 10 months ago
(Well good! Quinn didn’t have to stay knocked out for too long, then. 😛 )
Arianwen stares at creeping mist, turning slowly white, then takes deep breath and cries “Come away, all of you! There is a path here— leading up from the swamp towards the summit of the mountain. Perhaps if we abandon the swamp we will also leave this… mist behind.”…[Read more]
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Kate Flournoy replied to the topic A call to pens contest in the forum General Writing Discussions 10 years, 10 months ago
Hey… I may have to do this. Yeah… yeah, I think I will. Thanks for linking it, Daeus! I’ll race you. 😉
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Kate Flournoy replied to the topic Bad heroes, messed up protagonists, and character arcs in the forum General Writing Discussions 10 years, 10 months ago
Right. Now what happens? You tell me. 🙂
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Kate Flournoy replied to the topic Bad heroes, messed up protagonists, and character arcs in the forum General Writing Discussions 10 years, 10 months ago
Okay. Now when Walter carries out the raid on Alex’s family, let’s say he went there himself, though he didn’t do any of the work, and watched them burn the house and kill everyone in it. We can have him standing there watching, and hearing all the screams and shouts and cries for mercy, and maybe turning white and sick inside, but doing nothing…[Read more]
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Kate Flournoy replied to the topic Inter-genre Island in the forum Short Story Critiques 10 years, 10 months ago
Arianwen: *sigh of relief* “Thank you, my lord.” *boat bumps against shore, Arianwen scrambles out and stumbles up the bank quickly, clutching thorny, clinging vines and keeping wary eyes out for any movement* “Where are we now, Quinn?”
*no answer*
*Arianwen twists to glance over shoulder at boat. Quinn is crumpled up in his seat, unmoving, and…[Read more] -
Kate Flournoy replied to the topic Inter-genre Island in the forum Short Story Critiques 10 years, 10 months ago
Arianwen: *cupping hands to mouth* “Sir! Come around the swamp and meet us on the northeastern shore! Do not— try— to cross— the swamp! As you value your life, come around!”
*turns, grabs hold of hanging vine and pulls canoe closer to shore**huge slithering green snake drops out of tree and writhes over her shoulders, hissing, and glaring…[Read more] -
Hope Ann replied to the topic Inter-genre Island in the forum Short Story Critiques 10 years, 10 months ago
Anna, shuddering as she looks at creature: “If I use the whole charge from my pistol I might be to-” *Monster starts to charge again* *Anna twists the gauge on her pistol to allow the whole charge to shoot at once and shoots at creature* *Monster wallows in mud, smashing against side of boat and almost overturning it before sinking into mud.*…[Read more]
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Hope Ann replied to the topic Inter-genre Island in the forum Short Story Critiques 10 years, 10 months ago
Anna, shuddering as she looks at creature: “If I use the whole charge on my pistol I might be to-” *Monster starts to charge again* *Anna twists the gauge on her pistol to allow the whole charge to shoot at once and shoots at creature* *Monster wallows in mud, smashing against side of boat and almost overturning it before sinking into mud.* *Anna…[Read more]
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Kate Flournoy replied to the topic Bad heroes, messed up protagonists, and character arcs in the forum General Writing Discussions 10 years, 10 months ago
Okay. Great. Wonderful. I like this.
So when do we pick up? Maybe Alex hid his family before he went into the whole ‘outlaw’ business, and we pick up where Walter finally discovers where they are and decides to go after them. Serves them right, after all. They’re affiliated with terrorists.
Does Alex know of the meditated attack and try to stop…[Read more]
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Kate Flournoy replied to the topic Inter-genre Island in the forum Short Story Critiques 10 years, 10 months ago
(Hm… *chuckles diabolically, rubs long, slender white hands together* Rosey won’t be here tomorrow… No seriously, I’ll certainly do my part to respect Quinn. We could just knock him out, then we’d have to carry him and wouldn’t have to worry about messing up his character. 😉 😛 )
Arianwen: *kneels by side of boat, draws knife and sweeps…[Read more] -
Kate Flournoy replied to the topic What I wrote (late) for last week's writing prompt in the forum Short Story Critiques 10 years, 10 months ago
Yes! You did great. I honestly can’t find anything to pick on, and that’s big coming from me. 😛
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Kate Flournoy replied to the topic Inter-genre Island in the forum Short Story Critiques 10 years, 10 months ago
Arianwen: *horrified* “You have what?!”
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Hope Ann replied to the topic Inter-genre Island in the forum Short Story Critiques 10 years, 10 months ago
Anna: “I knew that wasn’t Tolkien!” *furrows brow and looks at Rameaux* “Are you alright? I have some painkillers if you need them.”
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Kate Flournoy replied to the topic Inter-genre Island in the forum Short Story Critiques 10 years, 10 months ago
Arianwen: *catches breath sharply, half rises in seat and draws sword over her shoulder, sends it flying end over end through the air* *it lands in water with splash and sticks* *tentacles lash, something roars, then tentacles disappear in bubbling water with gurgling sound* *Arianwen reaches over side of boat, extends hand to Rameaux* “Haste, my…[Read more]
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Kate Flournoy replied to the topic Bad heroes, messed up protagonists, and character arcs in the forum General Writing Discussions 10 years, 10 months ago
Well I thought so. 🙂
So Alex is an outlaw while Walter goes and gets a job in the government. Fantastic contrast. Hm… should we make this a sly commentary on governmental corruption? Just kidding. 😀
Now what? Walter works his way up the ranks, building an undercover army of his own terrorists (only of course he doesn’t call them that) all…[Read more]
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Kate Flournoy replied to the topic Inter-genre Island in the forum Short Story Critiques 10 years, 10 months ago
Arianwen: *grips side of boat, leans over and touches water with fingertips.* *jerks hand back with sharp cry* “The water is scalding!”
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