Sarah Spradlin

@kate-flournoy – How could I forget a description of Savanna? Especially her eyes!!! I’ll add that to the story for sure.
I’ll have a look and see if there is another way to say that line.
With the debit card it’s a bit of a joke in our family. When you get charged you have to pay. So when a rhino charges you (money) you pay him. Does that make a…[Read more]

What @Daeus said. 🙂

One line I really liked was

He is my Shepard, my Rock and my Song.

It’s beautiful. 🙂

What @Daeus said. 🙂

One line I really liked was

He is my Shepard, my Rock and my Song.

Hey, I like this! I love the quirky, matter-of-fact narrator voice and the concise, efficiently steady pace.

Only a few things— this line

and spoke a brief conversation in Swahili

is a little odd. I think it’s just the ‘spoke a brief conversation’. Is there another way to say this?
Also, I would have liked a description of Savanna…[Read more]

@kate-flournoy – your link worked and the story is posted for all who wish to read it. Please feel free to critique it too. (I looooove criticism) 😛

At the very least I’d be painfully aware of how much more capably my brother could handle the situation if he were here.

Yes, you oldest children have no idea… 😉 😛

Hm, for some reason my link didn’t work. I’ll try it again. short story forum

Let’s see if that works. :/

Yes, post it, @bluejay! There’s a for short stories here. 🙂

Well obviously it depends on their relationship… but for my part, if I had an older brother whom I really, really admired and looked up to, that’s what I’d ask myself, especially if I wasn’t very experienced myself.

How about something like:

Life is full of dangers, but they shouldn’t stop us from living it to the full.

Although some of the other ideas which have been given are probably better than mine. 🙂

@Ivy-Rose – It would be that in America. So when it is 30 degrees in Australia is would be like 86 in America. So because it is 5 degrees where you are is would be -15 for me. (Boy, I’m glad I’m in Aus) And yes, yes yes…why don’t you come to Australia? 😛 Just fly over and have the best holiday of your life, sweating out here, swatting flies,…[Read more]

@Daeus I’m sure we all thank you we don’t live in a black hole. We are very grateful. 😉

@Joy-Schmidt okay… I think I got it. I’ll just ask a few general questions to get you started. First off, is he cautious because he doesn’t have experience? If so, the caution is going to be one of uncertainty and indecisive fear, with lots of nail-biting,…[Read more]

RA is by John Flanagan. And with a bit of fixing, they are an awesome series. If you haven’t read them you should!!!
It sounds like a book that I would cry at. (Everything makes me cry. I feel for all the heroes and when they cry so do I) Whenever we watch a movie that we know is going to be sad, my siblings say “Let’s get out the bathers and…[Read more]

Haha. Never read it. In fact hadn’t heard of it till now. 😛

I find I actually prefer to write about males then females. Seeing as my favourite topic to write about is war, I guess I shouldn’t be surprised!!!
@joy-schmidt have you watched Narnia-Prince Caspian? (I’ve only just watched it. So good. Cried heaps and heaps.) Your prince makes me think of him. He is calm and cautious, but when he learns about…[Read more]

Yikes… that depends so much on the guy’s personality. The prince’s, I mean. If I was the prince I would probably faint… but I’m sure that’s not helpful. 😛

Can you sketch out his personality a little? I could tell you so much more that way.

Thank you. I’ve been sleeping while you’ve all been thinking and writing. 🙂 Hehe The joys of living in a different time zone. 😛
@writefury – the line “Again, not a smart thing to say” is actually a tie-in to a previous comment.
I really wish you could all read the story. It is probably too long to post on the forum. But you’d be able critique it…[Read more]

@rolena-hatfield – Yes Australia is an awesome place. At the moment we are in our second month of summer and it is a sweltering heat of about 30C inside (which is about 86F). But summer is my favourite month so I don’t really mind. (Which is really weird cause I was born in winter!!! But I find I get sick more often when it is wet on cold.:()…[Read more]

@kate-flournoy– Anna and her parents aren’t animals. She goes to Africa (Masai Mara reserve) to stay with her uncle. There she rescues a baby giraffe stuck in the mud (Savanna) and falls in love with her.
I like yours. I really like the “hide away” part.