Brianne

@ellette-giselle

Lesson learned… I guess I have to add you every time. Unless you were using a different account?

@ellette-giselle

Yayy!!!

Hmm… they are reminding me of Sabina and Turin a little. More closed-off, not believers, smaller family who probably went through some grief. I’m excited to learn more about them. I feel like the father is already suspicious of them… meaning he might be really opposed when they bring up God… but Liesl will probabl…[Read more]

Chapters 5 and 6 are out! Same link as last time…

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1iTo1_yooHUC67Ve8ddKn2gCS0rK_fjpc0kh_NJu3Sig/edit

@whalekeeper @ellette-giselle @koshka @raxforge @theshadow @anyone-else

@ellette-giselle

Okay!

@theshadow

First, have to clear out all of the uh… wonderful writing before posting it.

XD

Lol, I was rewatching an episode from Martha Speaks (I don’t care if it’s for kids it’s one of the greatest shows ever), and this line really spoke to me.

Oh my goodness *brings back memories* We used to love that show.  But I don’t remember that line, sadly xD

@whalekeeper

I’ll be praying for you as well!

@stephie

That’s great!! 😊

@whalekeeper

Yeah, Nahim always wore at least a speeder mask or a helmet for about five years, so that’s probably what she compared him with.

@keilah-h @raxforge

Worst. Idea. Ever! My brothers won’t stop jabbering about all the new stupid slang! XD

Yeahhh I considered telling my brothers and then decided against it lol. There is so much new “brain rot”, as my brother would say, that sometimes I feel out of touch with my own generation. I can’t tell you how many times I pretend I know w…[Read more]

@savannah_grace2009

I’m a little late to responding, but as I was reading the things you shared, I just had a couple thoughts. Not sure if they’ll be helpful or not, but I figured I’d share anyway and let you decide lol.

One thing I noticed that could potentially be a lie (and maybe this fits more for future scenes after this all takes place) is…[Read more]

@whalekeeper

One of my friends compared I think Nahim to someone from Star Wars or something, but idr.

Other than that, i don’t think anyone’s even known enough about my characters to compare them to others. Recently, I only really talk about characters on here or with Andrew. Mainly cuz my friends don’t really follow when I start ranting XD.

@keilah-h

-Me being chronically inactive cause I’m about to serve a mission

-Someone mentions Avatar

-Me, breaks through the ceiling falling before you

I am here

I’m iffy on the show itself. I don’t need another fixation. There are a couple issues I’d like to avoid with the mythology of it all.

Always fair, however, I will say that you are s…[Read more]

@theshadow

Yeppp!!!

@ellette-giselle

*randomly pops in*

Maybe having Leon point that out would help readers realize it more?

@elishavet-pidyon

I liked how you had Neveah try to combat the lie, and it’s obvious it’s for Sef’s sake, not her own. To make this sequence really work, maybe make Sef think her Mani is just trying to save herself – it’s not a lie about Sef, but it would make the former lie hit home. Make her really crumble since the last thing keeping the lie f…

[Read more]

@elishavet-pidyon

wowww…that’s a lot to think about and really helpful!!! Thank you!

Here’s a little background on that scene…

yes, I know it is very sloppy and not perfect (I just wrote it literally today)

but here’s the cliffnotes:

• Sef is a slave of Iver, who is a Pythonos.
• Sef and Iver are currently in the throne room of the Master, leader of all Pythonos
• Iver has applied for a military position, and the Master is…

[Read more]

@the_lost-journal

WHATTT
the chosen makes me wanna cry

it’s so good!!!! they portrayed it so well in my opinion hahaha

it’s my FAVORITE show of all time hahaha

@elishavet-pidyon

YES those are what I’m looking for!!!!
I will definitely be using those later in my book…

But I’m struggling with a specific scene where I need a lie XDXD and none of these seem to fit…

“Well, what are you waiting for?” the Master spat, motioning for Iver to continue. “You may begin whenever you are ready.”

Sef’s knees sho…

[Read more]

@linus-smallprint

Okay good lol

Also, Paynes cannot become Pythonos because of genetics, but I’m not sure how to incorporate that in the book quite yet…don’t worry though, I’ll make that clearer in other drafts.

@esther-c

Okay perfect! Thank you!

@the_lost-journal

Aw I’m glad <3

Some of those were lies. what do you mean? You yourself said that they were lies.

yes, they are lies…

But they’re not the type of lies in my story…

agh I don’t know how to explain it, I’m sorry!!