Brianne

@ellette-giselle

Rolf!!! 😁

Wow, I really liked that section. That might have been my favorite part so far. I love Ian. He’s the best.

(And poor Albee, but I have a feeling he’s going to seek God out now that Leon’s gone…?)

@the_lost-journal

Pax

@the_lost-journal

Phew, so glad it didn’t actually happened. No worries! I’ll continue to pray for her.

@the_lost-journal

No worries! That’s still serious and important and I’ll keep praying 🙏🏻🫶🏻

@linus-smallprint

Yeah. I didn’t think it was realistic for her to be able to keep disappearing without her family knowing.

@ellette-giselle

Leon!!! I didn’t think you would kill him!!

I didn’t feel like the overseers punishing Leon instead of Ian was unrealistic. However, I’m starting to wonder what Ian did to deserve it. I know they’d had their eyes on him, but all he did was trip, right?

Julian’s scene was good too. I liked how it started raining and they were…[Read more]

@theshadow

Awesome, thanks!

@linus-smallprint

Great, thank you!! What made you guess that? You’re right xD

@the_lost-journal

Oh no, I’m so sorry. Praying for them 🙏

@the_lost-journal
Oh my goodness! 🫢 I can’t believe it… She’ll be in my prayers. 😥😥💕💕

@loopylin @ellette-giselle @keilah-h @highscribeofaetherium @the _lost-journal

thx.

@potato-reporter

Wait you made your pfp?! It is soooo cute and creative!!!! <3

thx

Credit for the idea of ice cream goes to @raxforge I originally found a reference picture of just four chibi heads on top of each other, and Andrew was talking about cherries so I…[Read more]

@theducktator

This reminded me of a time a visitor to our church told my dad that the number of kids he had intimidated her. She was completely serious and never came back. There were only four of us at the time too. XD

Lol that lady would never survive where I live… I think the majority of families I know in church and outside of church have at…[Read more]

@theshadow

Nothing immediately comes to mind for the first idea you mentioned, but for the second one, maybe a point of conflict could be something that both brothers are trying to achieve and it turns into a competition… you could go as deep into this as you want, whether it’s just petty sibling arguments or if it goes farther into one of them…[Read more]

@theducktator

Whattttt

That’s crazyyyy!

@loopylin

Chase

Soda. That was the same stuff that Marcel had gotten him at that shop. Chase himself had gotten some for Sef. He kind of liked soda.

He nodded.

sorry, it’s short

@ellette-giselle @keilah-h

Yeah, that makes sense. I’ve read the Ilyon Chronicles, which kind of has a similar vibe to your story’s time period and world, and one of the side characters (Christian) married a former prostitute after she became a believer. So, maybe it kind of reminded me of that, I don’t know.

@ellette-giselle

Yep lol.

Yeah, that makes sense. I couldn’t remember if it was an area he went through often or not.

Gotcha. Yeah, I get that. I was wondering if she might become a love interest for Julian, but if not, it’s probably better not to involve her too much.

@ellette-giselle

To be honest, I kind of guessed she was going to be a prostitute, so Julian’s reaction seemed a little much (especially to seeing her bare shoulder or whatever lol.) But then I reminded myself that it was different back then, so it made sense.

I would like to see her become a bigger part of the story, unless that doesn’t wor…[Read more]

@keilah-h

I’ve tried. I think she enjoys tormenting us 😂

one thing I’ll suggest, is that I feel like you don’t really introduce the family to us in the first few chapters. At first I wasn’t even sure if Blake was their sibling or not XDXD

They do have a HUGE family, so setting a solid foundation and making all the siblings and the parents unique and established in our minds would be a big thing you…[Read more]

@esther-c

Sorry it took me so long to get to this!!!
I like it a lot!!!! <3 keep it up!!!!